Rsvping To A Wedding: Email Etiquette Simplified

When it comes to wedding invites, the RSVP, short for the French phrase répondez s'il vous plaît (respond if you please), is a crucial step in the planning process for both the couple and the guests. A timely response is essential, as it helps the couple finalise their guest list, caterer headcount, and seating arrangements. While mailed invitations with RSVP cards are traditional, email responses are becoming increasingly acceptable, especially when there is an existing email relationship with the couple. This paragraph will discuss the ins and outs of how to email RSVP a wedding invite, ensuring you provide all the necessary information while maintaining the appropriate tone.

Respond promptly

Responding promptly to a wedding invitation is crucial, as it helps the couple plan their big day effectively. Here are some tips to ensure you reply in a timely manner:

• Check your calendar: As soon as you receive the wedding invitation, check your calendar to see if you have any prior commitments or schedule clashes. This will help you make an informed decision about your attendance.
• Consult with others: If you are included in the invitation along with a partner or family, discuss the invitation with them and make a joint decision. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and avoids any confusion later on.
• Don't delay: Send your response as soon as possible. Don't wait until the last minute or the RSVP date to reply. Prompt responses help the couple finalise their plans, including catering and seating arrangements. Your timely response is a considerate gesture that shows enthusiasm for their special day.
• Use the preferred method: Take note of how the couple has requested to receive responses. They may prefer a mailed response card, an email, a reply on their wedding website, or another method. Respect their preferred method, as it often aligns with their planning process and convenience.
• Be considerate about plus-ones: If the invitation includes a plus-one option, decide promptly whether you will bring a guest. Don't assume a plus-one is allowed if it isn't clearly stated. Remember that additional guests impact the couple's finances and logistics. If you reply for yourself only, don't arrive at the wedding with an uninvited date.
• Provide all necessary information: When responding, ensure you include all the requested details, such as your full name, dietary restrictions, and entrée preferences. This helps the couple finalise seating charts and share relevant information with their caterers.
• Inform of any changes: If you have accepted the invitation but later realise you can no longer attend, promptly inform the couple. This courtesy allows them to adjust their plans and invite someone else if they wish.

Include full name

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to include your full name. This is because weddings are often formal events, and with that formality comes the proper addressing of people by their full names on place cards and escort cards. If the name on the wedding invitation is not accurate, the reply card is your opportunity to provide your preferred full name.

If there is only an "M" next to a blank line on the response card, fill out the card with the correct honorific, followed by your full name and that of your guest. If the line is blank, write out your full, preferred name, including the honorific, as well as your guest's name. It is considered good etiquette to write your name exactly as it appears on the envelope. For example, if the envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", the response line should state, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". If the envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew", then the response should include: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew".

If you are unsure about bringing a plus one, look at the invitation envelope to see if "and guest" is clearly stated. Asking to bring a guest when the invitation does not explicitly allow for this is considered inappropriate. If you have been given a plus one, write your name first, followed by your guest's full name.

If you are responding to a formal invitation, it is customary to write in the third person. For instance:

> Susan and Mark Smith accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr and Mrs John Harris to the wedding reception of their daughter Sarah & Tom Duncan on Saturday, the eighteenth of August.

For a more informal, personal approach, keep the response brief but sincere, or add a touch of humour. For example:

> Mark and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday the eighteenth of August. We look forward to sharing in your special day.

Specify number of guests

When it comes to specifying the number of guests in an RSVP, there are a few different approaches you can take. Here are some options to consider:

Clearly Indicate the Number of Guests Invited

One way to specify the number of guests is to clearly state the number of seats that have been reserved for them. For example, you can write "_ seats have been reserved in your honour" on the RSVP card. This approach helps to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings about the number of guests invited. It also prevents guests from adding extra people to their RSVP.

Address the Invitation to Specific Individuals

Another way to specify the number of guests is to address the invitation to each person individually. For example, you can write "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "Mr. John Smith and Miss Jane Doe". This way, guests will know exactly who is invited and how many seats have been allocated for them. This approach is especially useful if you are inviting families with children, as you can specify whether the children are included in the invitation.

Use a Blanket Statement for Families

If you are inviting families and want to give them a specific number of seats, you can address the invitation to "The Smith Family" and then indicate the total number of seats reserved for them on the RSVP card. For example, "5 seats have been reserved in your honour". This approach simplifies the invitation process and ensures that the family understands how many members can attend the wedding.

Prefill the Number of Guests on the RSVP Card

If you are inviting individuals and want to make it clear that they do not have a plus one, you can prefill the number of guests on the RSVP card. For example, you can write "1 of 1 guest attending" or "1 seat has been reserved in your honour". This approach leaves no room for ambiguity and ensures that guests understand the number of seats allocated to them.

Provide a Line for Guests to Write Their Names

On the RSVP card, include a line for guests to write their names. This serves two purposes: it guarantees that you know who is attending and it also helps with the correct spelling of names for the seating chart. You can also indicate the number of guests invited by writing "M" at the start of the line, prompting guests to include their proper honorifics (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their names.

Remember, when specifying the number of guests, always be mindful of the couple's preferences and restrictions. It is important to respect their decisions and follow any instructions they have provided in the invitation.

Indicate dietary restrictions

When it comes to indicating dietary restrictions in an RSVP email for a wedding invite, here are some detailed and instructive guidelines to follow:

Be Clear and Specific:

In your email, clearly mention any dietary restrictions or allergies you have. Be as specific as possible. For example, instead of just saying "I have food allergies," specify the type of allergy, such as a "peanut allergy" or "gluten intolerance." This helps the hosts and caterers understand your needs and make the necessary arrangements.

Provide Alternatives:

If possible, suggest alternative options that you can safely consume. For instance, if you are lactose intolerant, suggest dairy-free alternatives or recommend specific brands that cater to your dietary needs. This takes the burden off the hosts and ensures your dietary requirements are met.

Respond Promptly:

Don't delay in informing the hosts about your dietary restrictions. Respond to the wedding invite promptly, including all the necessary details about your dietary needs. This gives the hosts and caterers ample time to plan the menu and make any required adjustments.

Assess the Situation:

Consider the nature of the event and the potential challenges. If you have severe allergies or restrictions, assess whether it's feasible to attend. For example, if you are highly allergic to a specific type of food that is commonly used in the cuisine served at the wedding, it may be prudent to politely decline the invitation.

Offer to Provide More Information:

In your RSVP email, express your willingness to answer any questions the hosts may have. They may want to clarify certain aspects of your dietary restrictions or seek suggestions for alternative options. By offering to provide additional information, you can ensure a safer and more enjoyable dining experience.

Express Gratitude:

Don't forget to thank the hosts for their efforts in accommodating your dietary needs. Let them know that you appreciate their consideration and the steps they are taking to ensure your comfort and safety. This not only strengthens your relationship but also sets a positive tone for the event.

Add well wishes

When it comes to adding well wishes to your RSVP, the tone of your message should match the tone of the invitation. If you've received a formal invitation, your response should be formal, whereas an informal invitation calls for an informal response.

Formal RSVP examples:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Smith accept with pleasure (or: regret they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for [date]."
• "We kindly request your response by [date]."
• "We would be delighted to attend."
• "We regretfully decline."

Informal RSVP examples:

• "Thank you for your invitation, we will both be happily attending! Looking forward to it. Love, Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
• "Thank you for your invitation, sadly we are both unable to attend due to other commitments. So sorry we can’t be there – wishing you an amazing day! Love, Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
• "Ready to eat, drink, and see you get married!"
• "Sorry, have to miss out on the fun."

If you're responding via email, it's a good idea to include a gracious note expressing your gratitude for the invitation, whether you're accepting or declining. Here's an example of how you might word this:

"Dear [Couple's Names],

Thank you for inviting us to join your wedding celebration. We are happy to accept your invitation to the wedding day and the rehearsal.

In regard to entree choices, we would both prefer [entree choice].

Looking forward to the big day!

Warmly,

[Your Names]"

Remember, even if you're unable to attend, it's important to respond to the invitation and acknowledge the couple's thoughtfulness in inviting you. You can also consider sending a gift from their registry to show your support.

Frequently asked questions