Swearing In Best Man Speeches: Is It Okay?

The best man's speech is a wedding highlight, but it's also a daunting task. While it's meant to be funny, it's important to keep it warm and never edgy. The key is to strike a balance between humour and thoughtful anecdotes. It's also essential to keep the speech short and sweet—around seven minutes is ideal. As for content, it's best to avoid swearing and stick to light-hearted, respectful jokes. Begin with a lively anecdote or quote about your relationship with the groom, express heartfelt appreciation, and share stories that showcase his unique connection with the bride. Finally, conclude with sincere well-wishes for their future.

Icebreakers and jokes

The best man's speech is the highlight of any wedding. It's your chance to make the bride feel special and to welcome her into your crew. It can be tricky, especially when it comes to talking about the bride, but don't worry, we've got your back! Here are some tips and tricks to help you craft a speech that's both hilarious and heartfelt.

Set the Tone with a Great Opening Line

You'll be coming straight after the groom, so a joke about his speech or him will go down well. You could also make a joke about your unpreparedness to win over your audience. Just avoid overdone best man jokes, which will get a groan rather than a laugh. Here are some examples:

• "I was taught by my parents that if I had nothing good to say about someone, to sit down and be quiet..." (Sit down)
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words—it's very touching that you still decided to come."
• "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby—I woke up crying every two hours."
• "I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on how long the best man speech should last. I put my money on 45 minutes, so make yourselves comfortable!"
• "This speech won't contain anything embarrassing about the groom. Instead, I'll refer only to the kind and funny side of their character. Thank you and goodnight."

Introduce Yourself and Your Friendship

After your opening, introduce yourself and share how you met the groom. This will help establish your connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well. Here are some fun ways to introduce yourself:

• "Welcome everyone, my name is 'X', and I've known 'X' since we were kids. 'X' hates it when I take all the attention away from them, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."
• "Hello everyone, I'm 'X' and I've been best friends with 'X' for the past 15 years. For those of you who already know me—I apologise. For those who don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

Share Light-Hearted and Respectful Anecdotes

This is the key section of your speech. Share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and the couple. The tradition here leans towards playful roasting, but always keep it friendly and respectful. If you know the groom from school, walk down memory lane with some childhood stories. Were they always in detention? Did they stick up for you against bullies? Mix up fun stories with happy memories. Here are some examples:

• "I remember when we first met in first grade. [Groom's name] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."
• "I'll never forget the time [Bride] organised a surprise party for [Groom's name] birthday. She spent weeks planning every detail, from the guest list to the decorations. And on the big day, she even managed to keep him distracted with a wild goose chase around town while we all snuck into their flat. The look on his face when he walked in and saw all of us there? Priceless!"

Give Heartfelt and Friendly Advice

Giving some heartfelt and friendly advice is part of the best man's speech tradition. If you're married, you and your partner could come up with some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you're not, you could ask friends or family of the couple for their tips. Here's an example:

"To [Groom] and [Bride], may your love be as endless as your adventures, and may your adventures be as wild as your love. Cheers!"

Compliment the Bride

Take a moment to compliment the bride and her family. You can add a memory of when you knew they were destined to be together or reflect on your favourite things about them as a couple. Here are some examples:

• "When [Bride] first walked down the aisle, I swear the whole room gasped. She looks absolutely breathtaking in that dress—like a real-life princess. [Groom], I don't know how you managed to keep your cool up there. I would've been a blubbering mess!"
• "I've got to give a special shout-out to [Bride's parents]. Not only have they raised an incredible daughter, but they've also been like a second family to [Groom]. I'll never forget the time they took us all on a camping trip and taught us how to fish. Well, they tried to teach us, anyway. I'm pretty sure the only thing we caught was a cold!"

Keep it Clean

While you want your speech to be funny, it's important to avoid swearing. The audience will include a mix of younger and older guests, and some older members might be extremely offended by foul language.

Introducing yourself

Even if you're the groom's brother, it's unlikely that everyone at the wedding will know who you are. So, the next step in the best man speech structure is to introduce yourself. Share how you met your bestie, which will help establish your connection to everyone else in the room, particularly those who may not know you so well.

"Welcome everyone, my name is [X] and I've known [X] since we were kids. [X] hates it when I take all the attention away from them, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."

"Hello everyone, I'm [X] and I've been best friends with [X] for the past 15 years. For those of you that already know me – I apologise – for those that don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

"Let me introduce myself, I'm Jason and it's an honour to be standing here as Paul's best man. I suppose I should actually say it's an honour and a pleasure, but I know the pleasure won't kick in until this speech part is over."

"For those of you whom I haven't met, I am Jason, the Best Man ... I just wanted to give this quick, impromptu speech that I jotted down about ten months ago ..."

"For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous."

"Hello! For those who don't know me, I'm [Your Name], the best man. I've known [Groom's Name] since middle school, which means that it was before we learned mullets weren't a good look for either of us."

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those of you I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Chris and I am officially Paul’s second best man…second best ladies and gentlemen…nobody likes to be second best do they? Well, Paul, looking at his career, he should know better than most…"

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen before I begin I’d just like to introduce myself: my name is Chris and it is my very great honour and privilege to be the first of Mark’s two Best Man…we had to split it…46 years is quite a long time to cover all in one go!"

Reading out messages

The couple may ask you to read out messages and telegrams from guests who can't be there on the day. This is a great opportunity to add a surprise or something funny to the mix. You could get an old teacher to write a note, or a fun message from the landlord at their local pub. You could even put in some fake messages that will bring a laugh from the guests. For example, you could say that Channing Tatum sends his apologies for not turning up, or that the police need a new statement of events from the stag do.

Keeping it Classy

While it may be tempting to share some embarrassing stories about the groom, remember that some things are best left unsaid. Avoid controversial topics and keep the content classy and relatable to all ages. Steer clear of negative marriage stigma, sinful connotations such as drinking, drugs, hookups, and gambling, and definitely don't bring up the groom's exes!

Making it Meaningful

If you're stuck for ideas on what to include in your best man speech, consider sharing a few words about the groom's new spouse. You could talk about the qualities you admire about them and why you love them in the groom's life. You could also share a few words about the couple's relationship, such as how they met and how their relationship has grown. This will give the guests a better insight into the newlyweds.

Storytelling and anecdotes

The storytelling and anecdotes section is the key part of your best man speech. It's your chance to share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and the newlywed. This is also the perfect opportunity to give an overview of the groom's personality and share some happy memories.

When it comes to storytelling, less is more. Extended anecdotes are challenging to pull off and can lose your audience's attention. Instead, opt for a few short, funny stories that showcase the groom's unique qualities. If you have a longer story, edit it down to its most entertaining elements.

Make sure your stories are accessible to the whole audience. Avoid inside jokes or references that only a few people will understand. Paint a picture by including details such as time, place, and key players in your stories. You can also point out people mentioned in the story who are present at the wedding.

Exaggerate details for comic effect, but don't fabricate stories about the groom. It's his day, so your stories should celebrate him and not make him the butt of a joke.

Use your voice and body language to bring your stories to life. Vary your intonation, try doing an impression of the groom, and don't be afraid to move around a bit while speaking. Just be careful not to get too dramatic if you're holding note cards!

"There weren't many highlights to being on minimum wage in the frozen section of nobody's favourite supermarket, in fact, if I remember rightly, there was only one. [The groom] had been asked to use his initiative to dispose of a 2-litre tub of chocolate ice cream. Well, [the groom] decides to take it into the staff toilets and empty it into the loo. Ladies and gentlemen, a big tub of melting chocolate ice cream can make a big impression when poured into a toilet and can only ever give the next person in there the wrong idea."

"I first met [the groom] while working at a pizza joint called Domenica's while in college. I hated being a server with all my heart, but whenever [the groom] and I were scheduled together, it made it so much more bearable. We laughed until we cried, ate hundreds of garlic knots, and I can't tell you the amount of times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions."

"I remember when we first met in first grade. [The groom] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."

"On my fourth birthday, my parents got me a brother… I wanted a puppy. But seriously, as a kid, [the groom] wanted to do everything I did. He used to follow me around and sneak into my room to play with my Matchbox cars. Our parents could get him to eat his broccoli by making me eat my broccoli."

"I first met [the groom] way back in 1994 when we started secondary school together. Little did we know it at the time, but it was the start of a beautiful relationship, which, for me, eventually proved worth pursuing years later when I was able to borrow all his notes and pass my A-Levels."

Advice and compliments

The best man's speech is a big deal, not just for the groom but also for the bride. It is an opportunity to make the bride feel special and appreciated and to welcome her into the best man's "crazy crew". It is also a chance for the best man to go down in history for one of the best wedding speeches of all time.

The best man's speech should strike a balance between humorous memories and thoughtful anecdotes. While originality and unique comedic timing are great, it is still important to follow a basic structure to ensure that the speech stays on track and is enjoyable and appropriate.

Give Heartfelt and Friendly Advice

If you are married, you and your partner could share some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you are not married, you could ask married friends or family members for their advice. You could also refer to tips from famous couples on TV or in movies. For example, a quote from the TV show "Grey's Anatomy" between Meredith and Derek:

> "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running – ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."

Offer Compliments to the Couple

Take a moment to compliment the couple and their relationship. Highlight the groom's special qualities and shared moments. Discuss how the couple met and their unique connection, emphasising moments that showcase their bond. You can also share embarrassing (but endearing) stories that show the bride's incredible qualities. For example:

> "I’ll never forget the time Kate organised a surprise party for Steve’s birthday. She spent weeks planning every detail, from the guest list to the decorations. And on the big day, she even managed to keep him distracted with a wild goose chase around town while we all snuck into their flat."

Compliment the bride's appearance and thank her family for their support and contribution to the wedding. For instance:

> "When Sarah first walked down the aisle, I swear the whole room gasped. She looks absolutely breathtaking in that dress – like a real-life princess. Steve, mate, I don’t know how you managed to keep your cool up there. I would’ve been a blubbering mess!"

Raise a Final Toast

Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a happy future together. For example:

> "To Sarah and Steve – may your love be as endless as your adventures, and may your adventures be as wild as your love. Cheers!"

Remember to keep your speech lighthearted and respectful, and avoid swearing or telling raunchy jokes. Stay true to yourself and your usual style – there is no need to play a role or put on a public speaking persona. Your authenticity will resonate more genuinely with the couple and their guests.

Frequently asked questions