Wedding Shower Invitation Lists: Etiquette And Expectations

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, and with so many traditions and expectations, it's easy to get overwhelmed. One of the most important pre-wedding events is the bridal shower, a time-honoured tradition that allows the bride's nearest and dearest to gather and celebrate. The bridal shower guest list is an essential aspect of the planning process, and it's crucial to get it right. Traditionally, bridal showers were intimate gatherings exclusively for the bride's female friends and family members, but times are changing, and modern bridal showers can include male guests as well. So, who exactly should be invited to a bridal shower? Is it acceptable to invite someone to the bridal shower if they're not invited to the wedding? And what is the appropriate timeframe for sending out invitations? These are just some of the questions we'll be answering as we delve into the intricacies of wedding etiquette surrounding bridal shower invitation lists.

Who to invite

The guest list for a wedding shower is usually reserved for the bride's closest friends and family members, such as her bridesmaids, mother, sisters, and future in-laws. However, in recent times, wedding showers may also include close male friends or relatives if the bride wishes. The key is to invite people who share a meaningful connection with the bride.

It is considered good etiquette to invite close relatives of the bride's spouse, such as their mother, sisters, grandmother, or another family member they are very close with. If the bride's future mother-in-law is hosting the wedding shower, expect more in-laws to attend, such as aunts and cousins.

It is also important to note that everyone invited to the wedding shower should also be invited to the wedding itself. This is a common courtesy and avoids any potential offence being caused.

The number of guests invited to a wedding shower is usually between 30 and 40 people, understanding that some may not be able to attend. The final say on the guest list should come from the host and the guest(s) of honour.

If the guest list is extensive, consider having multiple, smaller wedding showers to accommodate different groups of guests. For example, one could be hosted by bridesmaids for close friends only, while another could be hosted by the bride's future mother-in-law for family members.

When to send invites

When it comes to bridal shower invitation etiquette, timing is everything. As a host, you'll need to give your guests enough notice, especially if they're travelling from out of town. So, when is the best time to send out those invites?

Bridal shower invitations should typically be mailed around four to eight weeks before the event, with the RSVP deadline about two weeks before the party. This gives guests ample time to respond and make any necessary arrangements, such as travel and accommodation bookings. Sending the invitations too early could lead to guests forgetting about the event, while sending them too late may result in low attendance due to scheduling conflicts.

If your guest list includes out-of-towners, it's considered good etiquette to give them a little extra time. Sending invitations at least two months in advance should give these guests enough time to organise their plans and decide on gifts.

Remember, every part of the wedding experience is special to the bride, so it's recommended to mail paper invitations rather than email invites, unless you're hosting a more casual gathering.

Who sends invites

The party host is responsible for sending out the wedding shower invitations. This is traditionally the maid of honour and/or a bridesmaid, but close relatives and friends of the bride can also offer to host or help with planning.

It's important to consult the couple about the guest list before sending out invites. It's considered poor etiquette to invite anyone to the wedding shower who isn't also invited to the wedding.

If the couple has not specifically requested a surprise, it's safe to assume they want to be involved in the planning. If there are multiple hosts, all names can be included on the invitation, or you can add a line such as "Hosted by her loving bridesmaids".

The host is also usually responsible for selecting and paying for the invitations, unless another arrangement has been agreed upon. If there are multiple hosts, tasks can be delegated, with one person in charge of collecting addresses and getting guest list approval, and another in charge of choosing and sending the invites.

What to include

The guest of honour's name: The bridal shower invitation should include the name of the bride-to-be or the couple if it's a co-ed shower. It's important to avoid mentioning the bride's partner if the shower is only for her.

The date, time, and location: Be sure to include the full address of the venue, including the street address, city, and postal code, to prevent guests from getting lost.

RSVP details: Include an RSVP date, the name of the person guests should contact, and their phone number or email address.

The name of the host or hosts: It's nice to include the name(s) of the person(s) throwing the party, especially if there are multiple hosts. This way, guests will know who to thank.

The registry information: Include the couple's wedding website URL or name the stores they are registered at so that guests can purchase gifts accordingly.

Optional details:

• The host's name(s): It's proper etiquette to include the host's name, whether it's the maid of honour, a family member, or a close friend.
• Themed event information: If you're having a themed event, include this information on the invitation so that guests can dress appropriately and bring gifts that fit the theme.
• Dress code: While not required, including a dress code can be helpful, especially for more formal events or themed showers.

How to write invites

Writing wedding shower invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to personalised invites and providing the proper information. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to write them:

Highlight the Guest of Honour:

Begin your invite with a simple greeting, followed by the name of the bride or the couple if it is a couple's shower. For a formal bridal shower, the invitation can be: "Please join us for a bridal shower honouring [insert name of the bride here]." For a casual tone, you can go with something like: "Before the Miss becomes a Mrs, let's shower her with love and good wishes. Honoring [insert name of the bride here]."

Pick a Theme:

After announcing who the bridal shower is honouring, specify the theme, if any. Including the theme on the invitation will help guests prepare, from dressing appropriately to buying gifts.

Include the Date, Time and Location:

Along with the short greeting, state when and where the bridal shower is taking place. List the full date, including the day, month and year, as well as the exact time the party will start and the full address of the venue.

Indicate Who Is Hosting the Event:

Don't forget to include the name of the host or hosts. It is necessary for guests to know who is throwing the party and who to contact for questions, especially if you're inviting guests you haven't met before.

Provide RSVP Instructions:

At the bottom of the invite, add the RSVP details so guests know who to contact. Include the name of the host, their phone number and/or email address, and the RSVP deadline, which should be about two weeks before the actual shower.

Include Additional Wedding Details:

Lastly, include the couple's wedding website and a brief line that reads: "Please visit [insert names here] wedding website for gift and wedding registry information."

Frequently asked questions