Guide To Wedding Invitation Etiquette And Norms

Wedding invitations are the first glimpse your guests will have of your big day, so it's important to get them right. The traditional way to do wedding invitations is to send them out six to eight weeks before the wedding, although this timeline can be extended to three months for destination weddings or holiday weddings. The invitations should include the date, time, and location of the ceremony, as well as the reception information if it is held at a different venue. It is also standard to include an RSVP card with a pre-printed envelope and stamp to make it easy for guests to respond. The return address is usually included on the back flap of the envelope, and it is considered good etiquette to hand-write the addresses on the envelopes, although printing is also acceptable. The cost of wedding invitations can vary widely, from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand, depending on the printing method and any additional enclosures or decorative elements.

Timing: Send save-the-dates 6-10 months before, and invitations 4-5 months before the wedding

Wedding planning can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to sending out save-the-dates and invitations. Here is a detailed guide on the timing of your save-the-dates and wedding invitations to ensure your guests have ample time to prepare for your big day.

Save-the-Dates:

It is recommended to send out your save-the-dates 6-10 months before your wedding day. This gives your guests a heads-up to mark their calendars and ensures they are well prepared for your special day. It is particularly important if you are planning a destination wedding or getting married during a busy holiday period, in which case, sending out your save-the-dates 9 months to a year in advance is advisable. This allows your guests to make the necessary travel arrangements and accommodations without feeling rushed.

Wedding Invitations:

The timing of your wedding invitations depends on whether you have sent save-the-dates. If you haven't sent save-the-dates, it is recommended to send out your wedding invitations 4-6 months before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to plan their attendance, especially if they need to request time off from work or make travel arrangements.

If you have sent save-the-dates, your wedding invitations should be sent out at least 8 weeks before the wedding. Under no circumstances should invitations be sent with less than 6 weeks' notice. The ideal time frame is 3 months before your wedding, giving you ample time to receive RSVPs and finalise your seating arrangements. For destination weddings, sending out invitations 12 weeks in advance is a good idea to provide your guests with extra notice.

Destination Weddings:

For destination weddings, it is essential to give your guests as much notice as possible. Sending out your save-the-dates and invitations earlier is crucial, ideally as soon as you have confirmed your venue and wedding date. This allows guests ample time to plan their travel and accommodations, especially if they need to request time off from work or arrange for childcare.

In summary, the timing of your save-the-dates and wedding invitations is crucial to ensuring your guests can attend your big day. Sending out your save-the-dates 6-10 months in advance and following up with invitations 4-5 months before your wedding will give your guests enough time to plan and ensure a memorable celebration with your loved ones.

Wording: Include the host, couple's names, reception info, date, time, venue, and dress code

Host Line

The host line is the opening line on a wedding invitation and names the hosts of the event. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, this line can be omitted. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts, but nowadays, this isn't always the case. If multiple parties are hosting, you only need to include names if you're going for a formal feel. If you're sharing financial responsibility with your parents (or anyone else), be sure to include them on your invitations. It's also proper etiquette to recognise their support.

Couple's Names

The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text and in a fancy typeface. For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically goes first, followed by the groom's name. For same-sex couples, you can list the names in alphabetical order by last name or based on what looks best with the invitation design. For a less formal feel, you may opt to list first names only.

Date and Time

Traditional wedding invitation wording requires the date and time to be spelled out in full, while numerical figures are often used on modern invites. If you're using figures, choose a legible font—a "2" that's easily mistaken for a "5" could cause a lot of confusion. The time of day should be spelled out as "four o'clock" or "half after four o'clock".

Venue

List the ceremony venue as follows: "Venue Name" on one line, "City, State" on the following line. For formal weddings, the state name is usually spelled out. The venue's street address is traditionally not included unless the venue is a private residence. If the reception will be at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply say, "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow". If the reception is at a different location, you can list the venue on the following line or on a separate insert card, called a reception card.

Reception Info

If the ceremony and reception are held at the same venue, include the line "Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation. However, if the reception is held at a different location, it should be treated as a separate event—include a separate reception card with the event details as part of the invitation suite.

Dress Code

Including dress code information isn't compulsory, but it can be helpful for guests. One exception: if your wedding is black tie, you must include that on the invitation. If you don't include attire information, guests will infer it based on the formality of the invitation itself. The dress code line should be listed on a line following the reception location.

Enclosures: Add RSVP cards, website details, directions, and accommodation info

Enclosures are a great way to provide guests with extra details about your wedding day and answer any questions they might have. They are usually included inside the wedding invitation envelope and can be designed to match the style and aesthetic of the wedding invitation suite. Here are some essential types of enclosures and what they should include:

RSVP Cards

Response or RSVP cards are one of the most commonly used enclosure types. They allow guests to confirm their attendance and specify any additional guests or dietary requirements. RSVP cards should include an RSVP deadline, space for guests to write their names and the names of any additional guests, and an area to accept or decline the invitation. It's also a good idea to include entree options if you're offering a choice of meals.

Website Details

If you have a wedding website, it's a good idea to include a separate enclosure card with this information. On the card, you can list a summary of what guests can find on the website, such as how you and your partner met, the proposal story, information about the bridal party, the menu, and details of your gift registry.

Directions

Direction cards ensure that your guests know how to get to your wedding venue(s). These usually include official driving instructions from different directions, so guests can easily navigate to the location. If you have multiple wedding events at different venues, consider including a map card to help guests visualise where each event will take place.

Accommodation Information

Accommodation cards provide guests with hotel or lodging options near the wedding venue. If you have a wedding block or group rate at a hotel, be sure to include this information. Otherwise, list 2-3 recommended hotels in the area, along with their contact information.

Remember, it's best not to exceed three enclosure cards to keep your invitation suite concise and elegant. For any additional details, direct your guests to your wedding website.

Assembly: Stack largest card at the bottom, add vellum, then reception card, enclosures, and finally, the RSVP card and envelope

Wedding invitation assembly can be confusing for couples, but it's a fun and exciting part of the wedding planning process. Here is a step-by-step guide to assembling your wedding invitations:

Step 1: Get the Main Invitation Card

Start with the invitation card, which is usually the largest card in the suite. Place it at the bottom of the stack, face up, with the printed side visible.

Step 2: Add Vellum

If you have chosen to include a thin sheet of vellum, place it on top of the invitation card. Traditionally, vellum was used to prevent ink from smearing or rubbing off during mailing, but it is now more of a stylistic choice.

Step 3: Stack the Reception Card

If you are including a reception card, place it face up on top of the invitation card or vellum. This card includes the time and location of the wedding reception and any other important information for guests.

Step 4: Add Enclosure Cards

Place any remaining enclosure cards, such as direction or detail cards, map cards, or hotel accommodation cards, face up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, start with the largest and work your way down to the smallest.

Step 5: Add the RSVP Card and Envelope

Place the RSVP envelope, printed side down, on top of the stack of enclosure cards, with the envelope flap on the left. Then, insert the RSVP card under the envelope flap, face up, so that the printed side is visible. Don't forget to pre-stamp the reply envelope to make it easier for your guests to respond.

By following these steps, you will have a beautifully assembled wedding invitation suite, ready to be placed into an envelope and mailed to your guests.

Mailing: Weigh assembled invites, add correct postage, hand-cancel, and mail 6-8 weeks before the wedding

Mailing your wedding invitations can be a straightforward process, but there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure they arrive safely and on time. Here are some detailed steps to follow for mailing your wedding invitations:

Weighing the Invitations:

Firstly, weigh your assembled invitations. Wedding invitations are often heavier than average letters due to multiple inserts, thick cardstock, or embellishments like wax seals. Take one fully assembled invitation, complete with all enclosures and envelopes, to your local post office and have it weighed by a postal clerk. This will help you determine the exact postage required, which may be more than the basic Forever stamp rate. Knowing the weight of your invitations will also be helpful if you plan to purchase stamps online or from a different vendor.

Correct Postage:

Once you know the weight of your invitations, you can determine the correct postage. Most postal services offer different rates for different weights, and there may be additional charges for non-standard sizes or shapes. In some cases, a single invitation may require more than one stamp to cover the postage. It is important to affix the correct postage to each invitation to avoid delays or additional charges.

Hand-Cancelling:

If your invitations are bulky or have embellishments, consider requesting hand-cancelling. Hand-cancelling is when the stamp is manually marked or crossed out to prevent reuse, instead of being processed by a machine. This service can help ensure that your invitations arrive intact and aren't damaged by sorting machines. Some post offices may charge a small additional fee per envelope for hand-cancelling, so be sure to inquire about any potential charges.

Timing:

Finally, mail your invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding. This timeline gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. If you're having a destination wedding or getting married during a busy holiday season, consider sending your invitations out even earlier, around the 12-week mark.

Proofreading and Final Checks:

Before mailing your invitations, it is essential to proofread all the details, including addresses and postage. Check each envelope to ensure the correct postage has been added, and double-check that the invitations are securely sealed. This process may be tedious, but it will give you and your future spouse peace of mind once the invitations are on their way to your guests.

Mailing your wedding invitations is an important step in the wedding planning process. By following these steps, you can ensure that your invitations reach your guests safely and on time, allowing them to share in your excitement as you count down to your special day.

Frequently asked questions