Bridesmaids: Ancient Rituals To Modern Wedding Traditions

The tradition of having bridesmaids at weddings is believed to have originated in ancient Roman times, when Roman law required 10 witnesses to be present at a wedding. Bridesmaids were originally dressed identically to the bride to confuse evil spirits or jealous suitors who might wish to harm the newlyweds. In ancient Rome and feudal China, the bride would have to travel many miles to her groom's town, making her susceptible to attack by bandits or rival suitors. With a host of bridesmaids all dressed alike, it became harder to target the bride. In modern times, bridesmaids are typically chosen from the bride's close friends or relatives and are there to provide emotional support and help with planning and preparations.

Bridesmaids' dresses

The tradition of bridesmaids wearing matching dresses originated in ancient Rome, where it was believed that happy occasions attracted evil spirits. The bridesmaids' matching attire served as a decoy to confuse these spirits and any rejected suitors, thus protecting the bride from harm. This practice was also observed in feudal China, where bridesmaids dressed like the bride to protect her from being identified and kidnapped by rival clans or hooligans.

Over time, the role of the bridesmaid evolved, and by the Victorian era, the focus shifted to the bride's attire. Bridesmaids' dresses became less about protection and more about ensuring the bride stood out. In the 1880s, bridesmaids' dresses were expected to be "as the depth of colouring in the background of a sun-lit picture," according to The Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony, a nuptial guidebook from 1865. Rose Cleveland's 1888 book, The Social Mirror, advised that a bridesmaid's principal duty was "to look pretty, and not outshine the bride."

In the early 20th century, bridesmaid dresses were designed to directly contrast with the bride's gown, ensuring all attention was on the bride. This era also saw the rise of puffy sleeves, shiny satin, hats, and gloves as popular choices for bridesmaid attire. By the 1920s, bridal parties sometimes consisted solely of children, with junior bridesmaids and flower girls wearing short white dresses with ribbon sashes.

The 1930s brought Hollywood glamour to bridesmaid fashion, with satin and mufflers being popular choices. The 1940s saw a shift away from white bridesmaid dresses, with high-waisted gowns and structured shoulders taking centre stage. The 1950s introduced tulle and shorter hemlines, while the 1960s embraced modern and shorter looks with high neck collars and sleeveless styles.

While the styles and colours of bridesmaid dresses have evolved over the centuries, the tradition of matching attire remains a staple of wedding ceremonies, often with a modern twist of mix-and-match styles and colours.

The role of the maid of honour

The maid of honour is the bride's right-hand woman and has traditionally been her favourite attendant, at her beck and call in the weeks leading up to the wedding. The term "maid of honour" originally referred to the female attendant of a queen and is now used for the bride's chief bridesmaid, typically her closest friend or sister.

In the past, the maid of honour was responsible for carrying the monetary portion of the bride's dowry, putting herself at great risk of thieves and other criminals. Nowadays, her duties are much less dangerous and include planning pre-wedding parties and serving as a point person on the wedding day. She is also responsible for leading the rest of the bridal party through the planning of any pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

On the day of the wedding, her principal duty is to provide practical and emotional support to the bride. She might assist the bride with dressing and, if needed, help her manage her veil, bouquet, prayer book, or the train of her wedding dress. In a double-ring wedding, the maid of honour is often entrusted with the groom's wedding ring until it is needed during the ceremony.

In some cultures, the maid of honour is unmarried, while in others she is married and referred to as the "matron of honour".

Bridesmaids' duties

Being a bridesmaid comes with a long list of responsibilities and duties, from planning to emotional support and beyond. Here is a comprehensive breakdown of the duties a bridesmaid may be expected to perform.

Pre-Wedding Duties:

• Plan and attend pre-wedding parties, including the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Help with wedding planning tasks, such as addressing invitations, DIY projects, and vendor meetings.
• Shop for and pay for bridesmaid attire, following the bride's wishes and guidelines.
• Book travel and accommodation for the wedding, including early bookings for any rehearsals and dinners.
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner to support the bride and be aware of the ceremony flow.
• Provide emotional support to the bride throughout the planning process.
• Buy a wedding gift for the couple, usually from their wedding registry.

Wedding Day Duties:

• Get ready with the bride, offering practical and emotional support.
• Assist the maid of honour with any tasks, such as last-minute errands or coordinating with vendors.
• Provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party while they get ready.
• Participate in the ceremony by walking down the aisle and standing with the bride.
• Be available for wedding photos, ensuring efficient and timely group portraits.
• Mingle with guests, sign the guest book, and participate in guest-related activities.
• Keep the wedding day timeline in mind and be prepared to answer basic questions from vendors.
• Assist the bride with her dress, veil, bouquet, and any other adjustments.
• Offer a toast or speech if requested by the couple.

Post-Wedding Duties:

• Attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or post-wedding brunch.
• Organise and return any miscellaneous or leftover wedding items, decorations, or gifts.
• Settle any outstanding payments or bills incurred during the wedding events.

It's important to note that the specific duties may vary depending on cultural traditions, the couple's preferences, and the size of the wedding party. Open communication between the bride and the bridesmaids is essential to ensure a clear understanding of expectations and to create a positive and supportive environment.

The origin of the bridal bouquet

The bridal bouquet has evolved from being more about function and superstition to colour and style. In ancient times, bridesmaids carried fragrant herbs and even garlic in their bouquets to ward off evil spirits and bandits. This practice may have also served to mask their body odour since bathing was not a daily occurrence.

In modern times, inspired by Queen Victoria, who carried a small bouquet of her favourite flowers on her wedding day, brides and bridesmaids began carrying floral bouquets. The bouquet's colour and style became more important, and it was no longer just a tool to ward off evil spirits.

In modern weddings, the bridal bouquet is a symbol of the bride's personality and style. It is often chosen to complement the bride's gown and the wedding's colour palette. The bouquet may also be used in the bouquet-throwing tradition, where the bride tosses the bouquet to a group of single bridesmaids, with the belief that the one who catches it will be the next to marry.

Superstitions

The role of a bridesmaid is steeped in superstition. In ancient Rome and China, bridesmaids wore identical outfits to the bride to confuse evil spirits or jealous suitors who might wish to harm the newlyweds. This belief in the supernatural power of matching outfits persisted into the Victorian era, with Queen Victoria and her bridesmaids all wearing white dresses.

In the 16th century, it was believed that if a woman served as a bridesmaid three times without getting married herself, she had been cursed by evil spirits. The only way to break the curse was to be a bridesmaid four more times, bringing the total to seven—hence the lucky number 7.

Another superstition is that the bridesmaid who catches the bouquet at the wedding will be the next to marry.

In addition to these beliefs, the role of the bridesmaid was also rooted in protection. In ancient times, brides were susceptible to kidnapping by rival clans, hooligans, or bandits, especially when travelling long distances to their groom's town. The bridesmaids' matching outfits served as a form of protection, making it harder to identify the bride.

Bridesmaids also carried fragrant herbs or garlic in their bouquets to ward off evil spirits and mask body odour, as bathing was not a daily occurrence.

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