Who Hosts The Bridal Shower: Bridesmaids Or Family?

The maid of honor is usually the one to kickstart the conversation about planning the bridal shower and is traditionally the chief shower planner. However, she is not expected to pay for the entire party and can ask the bride's mother, aunt(s), relatives, and wedding party members to contribute. Bridesmaids will probably be asked to pay for some of the bridal shower, although it depends on the type of party and who is hosting. The host is typically responsible for paying for the bridal shower, and this can be the maid of honor, the mother of the bride, or a combination of the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family.

The maid of honour is the traditional host

The maid of honour should initiate the planning process by first checking with the bride or couple to see their preferences and then reaching out to the bride's mother or close family to understand their expectations. The bridal shower can be a surprise, but not everyone likes surprises, so it is important to consider the bride's preferences.

The average cost of a bridal shower varies depending on the venue, guest count, and food and drinks served. It is recommended to budget $125 per person for an event at a venue and $40 per person for an at-home event with light refreshments. The host is usually responsible for paying for the bridal shower, but if costs are high, they can delegate duties and share costs with others.

The responsibilities of the bridal shower host include setting a date, creating a guest list, choosing a theme, sending out invitations, purchasing or DIYing decorations and favours, planning games, creating a music playlist, and setting up the venue. The maid of honour can also enlist the help of the bridesmaids to ensure the party runs smoothly on the day.

But it's not a one-woman job

While the maid of honour is traditionally the one to take the lead on bridal shower planning, it's not a one-woman job. It's common for the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family to pitch in if necessary.

The maid of honour should initiate the process by checking with the bride or couple to see their preferences and then reaching out to the bride's mother or close family to understand their expectations, followed by the wedding party members.

If multiple people want to be involved in hosting the bridal shower, you can delegate responsibilities. For example, one person could be in charge of food and refreshments, another could be in charge of activities and games, and someone else could be in charge of decorations.

The host is usually responsible for paying for the bridal shower, but it's often a collaborative effort, especially if it's a large event. If the maid of honour is taking the lead, they can approach the bride's family and other members of the bridal party to get the ball rolling and ask what they are able to contribute financially.

If the bridal party is already contributing financially towards the actual wedding, or if they are hosting a destination bachelorette, it might not be feasible for them to cover the entire cost of the bridal shower as well. In this case, other friends or family members of the bride might volunteer to host or contribute.

Ultimately, a bridal shower is a generous gesture, and it's not something that can be assigned to or expected from anyone. It's important to be mindful of people's budgets and not put pressure on anyone to contribute more than they are comfortable with.

Bridesmaids, family and friends can all pitch in

While the maid of honour traditionally takes on the role of chief shower planner, she isn't expected to be a one-woman show. Bridesmaids, family, and friends can all pitch in to help with planning logistics and costs.

The host is usually responsible for paying for the bridal shower, but this can be a lot for one person to handle, so it's common for the mother of the bride, bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family to all contribute.

If you're a bridesmaid, you can offer to be in charge of specific tasks that play to your strengths. For example, if you're a whiz at DIY and decorating, you can select and set up the bridal shower decorations and table centrepieces. If you're good at games, you can put together some fun game prizes for the winners.

If the bridal party is spread out across different cities or towns, it might be easier for the mother of the bride to take the lead on planning and paying for the shower. However, this isn't always the case, and it's becoming more common for a bride's relatives to host the bridal shower.

The most important thing to remember is that there are no rules when it comes to who can host a bridal shower. Anyone can volunteer to throw the party, and it's a chance for the bride's loved ones to come together and collaborate.

The bride's mother can host, but it was once considered rude

While the maid of honour is traditionally the host and planner of the bridal shower, it is not uncommon for the mother of the bride to host the event. In fact, it is becoming more and more common for a bride's relatives to host the bridal shower, though it was once considered rude.

In the past, it was seen as gauche for immediate family members to be named as official hosts as the event is about asking for gifts, and so it would appear that the family was bidding for presents. However, it was not uncommon for the family to secretly host, planning and paying for the event without revealing their identities, with the bridal party pretending to be the hosts. Now, it is perfectly acceptable for the mother of the bride, or another close family member, to plan and host the event.

The mother of the bride is expected to help plan and pay for the bridal shower, and similar to the wedding budget, if the parents of the couple want a say in the bridal shower details, they should expect to contribute financially. The mother of the bride can also split the cost with other relatives, like aunts, grandmothers, and future in-laws.

The groom's mother can host, too

It is not uncommon for the groom's mother to host the bridal shower. This is especially true if the couple has different hometowns, as it is a nice way for the groom's family to welcome the bride into their crew. It is also a good option if the bride's mother is unable or unwilling to host the shower. While it may not be optimal from an etiquette perspective, if the mother-in-law wants to throw a bridal shower, it is generally considered okay.

If the groom's mother is hosting, it is likely that the event will be held in her hometown. This provides an opportunity for her to introduce the bride to her relatives and friends. Even if the bride is not particularly keen on the idea, it is often best to suck it up and be prepared to be the centre of attention.

If there are two bridal showers, it is important to try to keep the guest lists as separate as possible. This avoids putting pressure on guests to purchase two gifts or travel to two events. However, close relatives and the bridal party should be invited to both celebrations.

The groom's mother can take on all the responsibilities of a bridal shower host, including setting a date, creating a guest list, choosing a theme, sending out invitations, and purchasing decorations and favours. She can also collaborate with the bride's mother, the maid of honour, bridesmaids, or other friends and family to share the costs and duties.

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