Selecting Your Bridesmaids: A Guide To Choosing Your Squad

Picking your bridesmaids can be a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. This is your day, and you should be surrounded by people who will make it special and memorable. Here's a guide to help you choose your bridal party without any stress or drama.

First, consider your budget. The number of bridesmaids you can have might depend on your budget, as you may want to cover some of their expenses. Next, make a list of everyone you think you might like to include, from family members to friends. Then, narrow down your list by considering your relationships with each person. Ask yourself, Who will make me the happiest? Who will get along with the group? Who will be excited to help me plan and celebrate? It's essential to choose people you can depend on and who will bring good vibes and emotional support.

Don't feel pressured to include everyone; it's okay to have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Be honest with yourself and choose the people who will add value to your day. Remember, it's your wedding, and you should be surrounded by the right people.

Consider your budget

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. Before you choose your bridesmaids, it's important to consider your budget and what expenses you will be covering for them. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Bridesmaid Dresses

Bridesmaids typically pay for their own dresses, which can range from $150 to $300, not including any necessary alterations. If you have a specific dress in mind, consider contributing financially or look for more affordable options. You can also give your bridesmaids a colour, fabric, and designer and let them choose their own dresses within a certain price range.

Accessories and Gifts

Bridesmaids usually buy their own accessories, but if you are requesting something specific, you may want to consider covering the cost as a gift. It is also customary for bridesmaids to bring a gift to the bridal shower and/or wedding, so you may want to factor that into your budget.

Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party

The bridal shower is typically hosted and paid for by the maid of honour or a family member of the bride. However, bridesmaids may be asked to contribute financially, especially if they are involved in the planning. The bachelorette party is typically planned and paid for by the bridesmaids, and it is common for them to cover the entire trip for the bride, including travel, lodging, decorations, and activities. These events can be expensive, especially if they involve travel, so it's important to discuss budgets and plan accordingly.

Hair and Makeup

Hair and makeup for the wedding day can be a significant expense for bridesmaids, costing around $50 to $150 per service. If you want your bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup professionally done, it is considerate to cover the cost as a gift. Otherwise, you can split the bill or allow them to do their own hair and makeup.

Travel and Accommodations

Bridesmaids are typically responsible for their own travel and accommodation costs for the wedding. If your wedding is in a remote location or requires air travel, these expenses can add up quickly. You may want to consider offering discounted hotel room blocks or helping to cover some of the costs for your bridesmaids.

Remember, it's important to be transparent about your budget and what expenses you expect your bridesmaids to cover. An honest conversation about finances will alleviate a lot of the financial stressors associated with being a bridesmaid.

Think about family members

When it comes to picking your bridesmaids, family members are often considered a "must-include". Start by making a list of all the family members you might like to include. This could include your sisters, a close brother, your fiancé's sister, and other close relatives.

If you have a large family, you may need to narrow down your list. Consider the relationships you have with each family member. How often do you talk to or spend time with them? If you have a close relationship and see each other regularly, they would likely be a good fit for your bridesmaid list.

It's also important to think about the dynamics between your family members and your other bridesmaids or friends. Picking bridesmaids who get along and work well together will make your wedding and the planning process more enjoyable and memorable.

While it's ultimately your decision, it's worth sitting down with your parents and close family to discuss expectations. Including certain family members, like a second cousin, can help avoid potentially permanent damage to relationships. However, remember that it's your day, and you should choose the people who will bring you the most joy.

Finally, be mindful of the financial and time commitments involved in being a bridesmaid. If a family member is going through a busy or financially challenging period, they may appreciate being invited as a guest instead.

Evaluate your needs

Evaluating your needs is a crucial step in deciding on your bridesmaids. Here are some factors to consider:

Your Budget

The first thing to consider is your budget. This will determine how many bridesmaids you can have and what you can afford to provide for them. Will you be covering their dresses, hair, and makeup? What about bridesmaid proposal suites or bridal bouquets? Are you expecting them to pay their way on your bachelorette trip, or are you covering that too? Knowing your budget will help you decide on the number of bridesmaids and what you can offer them. It can also be a handy excuse if someone is upset about not being included!

The Size of Your Wedding

Think about the size of your wedding. If you're planning a small, intimate wedding, you may want to choose only your closest friends as bridesmaids. On the other hand, if you're having a large wedding, you might want to include a mix of close friends and family members. Remember, even if you have a large guest list, you don't have to have a large bridal party. Invite those who you love and want to cherish these special memories with.

Your Expectations

Be clear about your expectations and the level of involvement you want from your bridesmaids. If you're planning a gala affair with many details, you may want more bridesmaids to help with coordination. Consider whether you're the type of person who needs a large support network and sounding board, or if you only need a few close confidantes. Also, decide if you expect your bridesmaids to devote a lot of time and money to your wedding. Would you prefer them to live nearby for easy access? Be honest with yourself about your expectations and whether they are reasonable.

Your Bridesmaids' Circumstances

Consider the circumstances of those you plan to ask. Are they able to devote the necessary time and money to your wedding? For example, do they have a busy work schedule, a new baby, or financial constraints? While their physical presence is important, remember that even if someone can't be there in person, they can still provide valuable moral support. Decide what's most important to you and be understanding of their situations.

Be honest about expectations

Being honest about your expectations is a crucial part of choosing your bridesmaids. It's important to be clear about the level of involvement you expect from your bridesmaids and the time and financial commitments required. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, and it's only fair to let your potential bridesmaids know what they're signing up for.

Be upfront about the anticipated costs, such as the dress, hair, makeup, bridal bouquet, and bachelorette trip. Ask your potential bridesmaids if they are comfortable with these expenses and be open to discussions about how you can help if needed. Remember that they have budgets too, and be understanding if they are going through financial difficulties.

Also, consider the time commitment involved. Will you be expecting your bridesmaids to devote a significant amount of time to your wedding? Will they be helping with planning, coordinating details, and attending pre-wedding events? Be mindful of your bridesmaids' other commitments, such as work, family, or education, and have honest conversations if you sense that their bandwidth is limited.

It's essential to manage your expectations and be flexible. Understand that not everyone will be able to meet your expectations, and that's okay. Be willing to make adjustments or find alternative ways for them to be involved in your wedding if needed.

Finally, be honest with yourself about your expectations. Are they reasonable, or are you expecting too much from your bridesmaids? Remember that your bridesmaids are your friends and family, and maintaining positive relationships with them is more important than any wedding.

Choose people you're close to

Choosing your bridesmaids can be a daunting task, but it's important to remember that this is your day, and you should be surrounded by people who will make it special and be there for you in the future. Here are some tips to help you pick your bridesmaids from the people you're closest to:

Make a List of Your Closest Friends and Family

Start by listing your best friends and family members. Be sure to include those you feel closest to and who have been there for you through thick and thin. Note that while you may feel close to certain female family members like your mother, aunt, or future mother-in-law, they may not expect to be bridesmaids as this role is usually filled by peers.

Consider Your Expectations

Think about the level of involvement you want from your bridesmaids. Being a bridesmaid comes with responsibilities and expenses, so consider who among your closest friends and family can commit to the role. If someone is going through a busy or challenging period in their life, such as pursuing a graduate degree or dealing with family issues, they may not have the bandwidth to take on additional tasks. Have honest conversations with them about their availability and be understanding if they need to decline.

Select Your Honour Attendant(s)

Choose your maid of honour first. This person will be your right-hand during the planning process and can help you fill in the rest of your bridal party. If you're torn between two people for this role, you can always choose both and assign duties that play to their strengths and interests.

Evaluate Your Relationships

Take a close look at your relationships with each individual on your list. Consider their dependability, the longevity of your friendship, and how supportive they are. Ask yourself if they genuinely lift you up and bring positive energy to your life. These qualities are essential in a bridesmaid, as you want your wedding day and the lead-up to it to be filled with joy and love.

Be Flexible with Numbers

Don't stress too much about having an even number of bridesmaids or matching the number of groomsmen. The most important thing is to have the right people by your side, regardless of the count. However, if you're concerned about how the photos will look, consult your wedding photographer for advice.

Frequently asked questions