George Boyle
The role of the best man at weddings is steeped in history, and the tradition has been dated back to 16th-century Germanic Goths. The best man was originally responsible for helping the groom get the bride to the wedding, whether that meant preventing her from running away or even kidnapping her from a reluctant family. The best man was chosen because he was the best at handling a sword, in case a sword fight broke out with the bride's family. Nowadays, the best man is the groom's right-hand man, providing emotional support and helping with wedding preparations and logistics.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Origin | Medieval Germany or 16th-century Germanic Goths |
| Role | To assist the groom in capturing the bride, protecting the groom, and preventing the bride from running away |
| Skills | "Best" in terms of fighting and strength |
| Weapons | Swords |
| Positioning | Stands next to the groom during the ceremony |
| Modern role | Planning the bachelor party, holding the rings, acting as a witness, making a speech |
What You'll Learn
The best man's role in a kidnapping
Centuries ago, in Medieval Germany, women were forcibly kept at home and closely watched. When a man decided upon a wife, if her family did not approve of him, he would often have to forcefully take her away. This is where the best man came in. The best man would help the groom capture his bride, and then stand guard at the wedding ceremony, armed and ready to fight off any family members who tried to reclaim her. The best man was chosen for his skill with a sword, and his strength and fighting ability. The groom would select the best man he knew for this important and dangerous task.
The best man would also stand guard outside the newlywed's bedroom on their wedding night, and remain at the groom's side for some time after the ceremony, as there was a real threat that the bride's family would try to reclaim her. This tradition has been dated back to the 16th century, and the Germanic Goths, when it was customary for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. When women from the local area were scarce, eligible bachelors would have to look further afield, and the best man would accompany the groom on these bride-capturing missions.
Thankfully, this tradition has evolved, and today the best man is more likely to be planning the bachelor party and holding the rings than kidnapping the bride!
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The best man's duties today
In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man is responsible for organising and leading the other groomsmen. This involves mediating between the groom and the groomsmen, answering questions, and ensuring the groomsmen are on top of their duties. The best man also coordinates the wedding attire, planning the bachelor party, and handling travel and accommodation plans for the groomsmen.
On the wedding day itself, the best man is in charge of keeping everyone on schedule, holding the wedding rings, and helping to welcome and escort guests. He stands next to the groom during the ceremony, signs the marriage license as a witness, and escorts the maid of honor during the recessional. The best man also typically gives a speech during the reception, mingles with guests, and ensures the groom is well looked after.
The best man has a crucial role in providing emotional support to the groom, both before and during the wedding. He acts as the groom's confidant and go-to person for help and advice.
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The history of the term best man
The role of the best man at weddings has a long history, though the term "best man" itself is more recent. The earliest surviving written use of the term comes from 1782, when it was observed that "best man and best maid" in the Scottish dialect were equivalent to "bride-man and bride-maid" in England. However, the role of the best man itself is much older, dating back to at least the 16th century and possibly earlier.
The origin of the role of the best man is not a positive one. Historically, the best man was responsible for helping the groom acquire the bride, by preventing her from running away or even kidnapping her from her family if they did not approve of the match. This tradition has been linked to the Germanic Goths of the Middle Ages, when it was customary for men to marry women from within their own community. When women from the local area were scarce, eligible bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighbouring community, with the help of a male companion.
The best man's role was not just to assist in the kidnapping of the bride but also to protect the groom from any attempts by the bride's family to recapture her. The best man would stand next to the groom during the ceremony, armed with a sword or other weapons, ready to fight if necessary. This tradition has been linked to various ancient groups such as the Huns, Goths, and Visigoths, who would store weapons underneath the church floor in case of an attack by the bride's family.
In modern times, the role of the best man has evolved into a more supportive and logistical role. The best man is typically a close friend or relative of the groom, chosen to provide emotional support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself. The best man's duties often include planning the bachelor party, coordinating the groomsmen's attire, holding the wedding rings, signing the marriage certificate as a witness, and giving a speech at the reception.
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The best man's role in different cultures
The role of the best man is not universal across different cultures. While in most modern Anglophone countries, the groom chooses someone close to him to be his best man, the role of the best man and the duties it entails can vary greatly depending on the region and culture.
In Zambia, for example, the best man is expected to lead processions at the wedding and preliminary events, including dance rehearsals, where he is also expected to give an outstanding and outlandish dance performance. In Uganda, the best man is supposed to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage, so ideally, he must be married, preferably to one wife, and be able to give sound and tried-and-tested advice. In Bhutan, the best man acts as a ceremonial guardian to both the bride and groom and then entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours. In Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man is often also the koumbaros, or religious sponsor, who crowns the couple and participates in circling the altar three times. In Ukraine, the best man is responsible for guarding the bride during the wedding festivities, and if she is kidnapped, he has to pay a ransom for her return.
The role of the best man has evolved over time. In the past, the best man was responsible for helping the groom get the bride to the wedding, which could include preventing a runaway bride or even kidnapping her from a reluctant family. The best man was chosen for his fighting and strength abilities, and he would stand next to the bride during the ceremony to prevent anyone from interrupting. Nowadays, the best man is usually a close friend or family member who provides emotional support to the groom and helps with wedding preparations. He also typically plans the bachelor party, holds the rings for the ceremony, acts as a witness in the signing of the marriage certificate, and makes a speech at the wedding reception.
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Choosing the best man
The best man's role is to support the groom during the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. This includes helping the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, coordinating the groomsmen's ensembles, and planning the bachelor party. The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties.
On the wedding day, the best man's duties include assisting the groom in getting ready, holding the wedding rings, standing next to the groom during the ceremony, and acting as a legal witness to the marriage by signing the marriage certificate. The best man also typically delivers a speech during the reception and ensures that the groom and guests are having a good time.
In some cultures, the best man's role may differ. For example, in Zambia, the best man leads processions at the wedding and pre-wedding events, and in Uganda, the best man is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage.
The groom may also choose to have multiple best men or a "best woman" if he wishes, and there are no rules that dictate otherwise. Ultimately, the groom should choose someone who he trusts and who will be able to carry out the important duties of the best man.
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Frequently asked questions
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and chief assistant. He is usually a close friend or relative and is in charge of the groomsmen. He is responsible for planning the bachelor party, holding the wedding rings, acting as a witness to the marriage, and giving a speech at the reception.
Historically, the best man was chosen because he was the "best" in terms of fighting and strength. The groom needed his help to fight off anyone that stood in the way of him getting his bride, including the bride's family or the bride herself if she tried to escape.
The tradition of the best man is believed to have originated in Medieval Germany, or with the Germanic Goths in the 16th century, when men had to forcefully take their brides-to-be if her family did not approve of him. The best man would assist the groom in capturing the bride and protecting her from being taken back by her family.
The best man has various duties before, during, and after the wedding. He is responsible for supporting the groom with his attire, collecting money from the groomsmen for a gift, welcoming guests, ensuring the groom and groomsmen are on schedule, and decorating the getaway car. He also acts as the groom's confidante and provides emotional support.
