The Best Man's Guide: Wedding Role And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with supporting the groom throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. The role is usually given to the groom's brother, close relative or best friend, but there are no set rules. The best man's duties include helping to plan and organise the bachelor party, acting as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, and keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged. The best man also has a ceremonial role, standing next to the groom during the ceremony and giving a speech at the reception.

Planning the bachelor party

Planning and Preparation

Begin planning the bachelor party at least three to six months before the wedding. This will give you ample time to coordinate with the groom and guests, and make any necessary bookings or reservations. Create a checklist of everything you need to do, and try to involve the groom and groomsmen in the planning process.

Budget and Location

Establish a budget for the party by finding out how much each attendee is willing to contribute. The best man should expect to pay for most expenses, but the cost can be split between all attendees, excluding the groom. When choosing a location, consider the number of guests, the budget, the time available, and the types of activities you want to include.

Guest List and Invitations

Work with the groom to create a guest list, inviting the groomsmen and the groom's close friends and family members. Clear the guest list with the groom before sending out invitations, and ensure that everyone who attends the bachelor party is also invited to the wedding. Paper invitations are not necessary; you can spread the word via a group chat.

Date and Timing

The bachelor party can be held at any point in the months leading up to the wedding, but it is most commonly held one to three months before. Avoid hosting the party the night before the wedding, as this is impractical and does not allow for travel and recovery time.

Activities and Entertainment

Plan two to three group outings or activities that align with the groom's interests. This could include chartering a boat, attending a sporting event, going bowling, playing golf, visiting a brewery or distillery, or going to a concert or music festival. If the groom enjoys a particular sport, consider buying tickets to a game. You could also organise a bar crawl, visiting several bars in one night, or plan a camping trip with outdoor activities.

Food and Accommodation

Book accommodation for the party, considering the number of guests and your budget. If you are travelling to a different location, it is often better to rent a house rather than hotel rooms. This allows you to stock up on groceries and drinks, and makes meals and parking easier to manage. Work out the food situation, either by dining out or stocking the rental with easy-to-prepare meals and snacks.

Transportation

If you are travelling to a different location, organise transportation for the group. This could include booking flights or arranging a designated driver.

The Party Itself

Leave some unstructured time in your plans to allow for lounging, having drinks, and socialising. These often become the most memorable moments. You can also create a dare list for the groom to complete throughout the party, encouraging him to leave his comfort zone.

Payment and Expenses

Discuss the estimated price for lodging and activities with the group in advance, so they can make arrangements. On the day, put everything on one credit card to simplify payments, and then divide the total cost between attendees later using cash or money transfer apps.

Gifts

Gifts are not required, but some attendees may choose to bring small tokens such as alcohol, cigars, sports equipment, or party games. Alternatively, the group may cover the groom's cost for a particular meal or outing.

Strippers

Contrary to popular belief, not all bachelor parties include strippers. Consult the groom and guests to determine if adult entertainment is expected, and respect the groom's wishes if he is not keen on the idea.

The Father's Involvement

Create a magical moment for the groom and his father by getting the father involved. You could ask the dad to pick up the tab for a meal or drinks, write a letter or film a video for the groom to watch during the party, or contribute a dare to the dare list.

The Groom's Involvement

Let the groom decide how involved he wants to be in the planning process. He may want to be surprised by the entire event, or he may prefer to be actively involved in the planning to ensure a great weekend for everyone.

Being the groom's confidant

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, and his role is to be the groom's confidant and emotional support throughout the entire wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

The best man is the groom's go-to person, and he should be prepared to offer support and assistance in any way he can. This may include helping the groom to choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. The best man should also be ready to lend an ear if the groom needs to talk through any worries or concerns.

In the months leading up to the wedding, the best man will help with a variety of tasks, including the organisation of the bachelor party. This is an important pre-wedding event and the best man should ensure that the groom has an unforgettable time. The best man may also be involved in selecting the wedding venue and offering opinions on other details.

On the wedding day itself, the best man's role is to support the groom in every way possible, from helping him get dressed to reminding him to breathe! The best man will also usually be responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged.

In summary, the best man is the groom's trusted confidant and plays a crucial role in ensuring that the wedding day runs smoothly and is a memorable and enjoyable occasion for the groom.

Holding the wedding rings

The best man will need to collect the wedding rings a week before the wedding and keep them secure. On the day of the wedding, he will need to ensure that he has the rings on his person and that they are easily accessible. This may involve checking his pockets to ensure they don't have holes!

If there is a ring bearer, they will usually walk down the aisle with the rings and hand them to the best man when they reach the altar. The best man will then hold onto the rings until the couple is ready to exchange them.

In some cases, the groom may hold onto his own ring, and the best man will only be responsible for holding the bride's ring. Alternatively, the best man may hold one ring, and the maid of honour may hold the other.

The best man should also be prepared for any eventuality and have a backup plan in place. For example, if he loses the rings, he should inform the couple as soon as possible so that alternative arrangements can be made.

Acting as master of ceremonies

The best man will set the tone for the wedding by introducing the purpose, theme, and agenda of the event. They will provide context for attendees, ensuring everyone understands the event’s objectives. For example, they may share the couple's story and explain how the wedding programme reflects their journey.

Throughout the wedding, the best man will be responsible for transitioning between different segments, speakers, or activities, ensuring that these transitions are seamless and coherent. They will also need to manage the time and schedule, ensuring that each segment adheres to the allocated time to prevent delays.

A key part of the role is engaging with the audience, capturing their attention, and fostering a warm and inclusive atmosphere. The best man will encourage applause, laughter, and participation to keep the energy high. They will also need to be prepared to handle unexpected situations, such as technical glitches or last-minute changes, remaining calm and adaptable.

The best man will introduce each speaker or performer with enthusiasm, highlighting their accomplishments and creating a connection with the audience. They will also act as a source of information for attendees, sharing details about the location of restrooms, refreshments, and other relevant information.

Additionally, the best man will inject entertainment and fun into the event while maintaining professionalism. They may incorporate humour, interactive games, or trivia related to the wedding theme.

Finally, as the event draws to a close, the best man will ensure a memorable conclusion by recapping key moments, expressing gratitude to the guests, and leaving the audience with a meaningful takeaway.

The best man, as the master of ceremonies, plays a vital role in creating a cohesive and memorable wedding experience for all involved.

Giving a speech

The best man's speech is usually given during the reception dinner, after the father of the bride and the groom have given their speeches. It is a moment that allows all the guests to experience the beloved bond between the groom and his best man.

• Practice your speech beforehand so that you feel comfortable and confident when delivering it.
• Keep your speech clear, heartfelt, and appropriate for all guests.
• Speak slowly and pause for laughter.
• Include everyone who needs to be mentioned, such as the newlyweds, the bride's parents, and the groom's parents.
• Be mindful of the audience and consider that older relatives may be present. Avoid any sexual or embarrassing stories that may not be suitable for everyone.
• Run your speech past a trusted person to check that you have the right tone.
• Don't procrastinate when it comes to writing your speech.

Frequently asked questions