Groomsmen Speech Order: Who Speaks When?

The best man's speech is a highlight of the wedding reception, but it's not mandatory. It's a chance for the best man to share some kind words about his relationship with the couple and his best friend. The best man's speech traditionally follows the groom's speech and comes last in the lineup of reception speeches. However, the couple may choose to switch up the order or schedule the speech during the rehearsal dinner instead.

The best man's speech should be quick, lighthearted, and positive. It should focus on the couple's relationship rather than the best man's friendship with the groom. While it's good to include some jokes, the speech doesn't have to be funny, and it's important to stay true to yourself and your usual style.

Best man speech: to give or not to give?

The best man's speech is a highlight of any wedding. It's a chance to share some kind words about the relationship with the couple and the groom, and it's also an opportunity to add some humour to the occasion. However, public speaking can be a daunting task for many, and it's understandable if the best man is uncomfortable with the idea. So, should the best man give a speech or not?

The Role of the Best Man

Being chosen as the best man is a tremendous honour, and it comes with a host of responsibilities. The best man is in charge of everything from planning the bachelor party to shepherding the groomsmen and safeguarding the rings. However, the wedding guests will likely remember only one thing: the best man's speech.

The Importance of the Speech

The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the couple's relationship and offer a unique perspective on their bond. It's also an opportunity to share light-hearted and humorous anecdotes about the groom. The speech adds a personal touch to the wedding and can make the occasion more memorable for the couple and the guests.

Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

For those who are uncomfortable with public speaking, the idea of giving a speech in front of a crowd can be nerve-wracking. However, there are ways to make the task less daunting. The best man can keep the speech short and sweet, focusing on a few key points and anecdotes. Practising beforehand and seeking feedback from friends can also help to build confidence. Remember, the speech doesn't have to be perfect, and it's more important to be genuine and speak from the heart.

Alternative Options

If the idea of giving a traditional speech is too overwhelming, there are alternative ways to contribute. The best man could consider writing a letter or recording a video message to the couple, which can be played during the wedding or shared privately. Another option is to have a joint speech with another groomsman, sharing the burden and making the task less intimidating.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, the decision to give a speech or not comes down to personal preference and comfort level. The best man should not feel pressured to speak if it causes undue anxiety. There are other ways to contribute to the wedding and support the groom. However, if the best man feels up to the challenge, the speech can be a meaningful and memorable part of the wedding celebration.

Best man speech structure

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, but it's important to get it right. Here is a guide on how to structure your best man speech:

Break the Ice

Begin with a light-hearted joke or anecdote to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It will set a friendly tone for what's to come.

Introduce Yourself and Your Friendship

After your opening, introduce yourself and share how you met the groom. This will help establish your connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well. You can also include some observations about the wedding day, such as a humorous incident during the ceremony or a light-hearted comment about the venue, attire, or cake.

Read Out Messages

Read out messages from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. It's a lovely gesture that will be meaningful to the couple and guests. You can also add a surprise or something funny, such as a message from an old teacher or a note from the police about needing a new statement regarding the stag do.

Story Time and Anecdotes

Share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom/newlywed. Keep the tradition of playful roasting, but always be friendly and respectful. If you have any props or stunts that enhance the story and are in good taste, this is the time to use them. You can also include funny stories from the groom's family and childhood friends.

Words of Wisdom

Offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice for the newlyweds. If you're married, you and your partner could share some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you're not married, you can ask friends or family of the couple for their tips on love, compromise, and everyday living.

Praise the Partner

Take a moment to compliment the groom's partner. You can add a memory of when you knew they were meant to be together, reflect on your favourite things about them, or mention the qualities they bring to your friend's life.

Acknowledge the Bridal Party

Thank the bridesmaids for their role on the day and their help in the lead-up to the wedding.

The Final Toast

Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a future filled with happiness. Invite all the guests to join in this heartfelt sentiment.

The ideal length for a best man speech is around seven minutes. This gives you enough time to include all the essential elements without losing the attention of the guests. Keep the speech light-hearted, personal, and meaningful, and don't forget to rehearse!

Best man speech timing

The best man's speech is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. It is usually lighthearted and quick, and traditionally comes at the end of the reception, after the maid of honour's speech.

If you are in the UK, the best man's speech should be no longer than 10 minutes. In the US, it is customary to keep it to around 5 minutes. The more speakers there are, the shorter your speech should be. If there are four speakers, aim for 8 minutes; with five speakers, around 6 minutes.

The best man's speech is usually the most anticipated and should kick off the party. It should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the couple's love for each other.

If you are giving a best man's speech, you don't need to feel pressured to be funny. It is more important to be sincere and speak from the heart. Focus on the couple and their relationship, rather than your friendship with the groom. Keep the speech positive and don't make it into a roast.

Some couples choose to have the best man's speech during the rehearsal dinner, or the night before the ceremony if it is a wedding weekender.

Best man speech content

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding. It's a chance to showcase your relationship with the groom, share some funny stories, and offer heartfelt wishes for the newlyweds. Here's a guide to help you craft a memorable and engaging speech.

Structure and Timing:

• Introduction and Icebreaker: Begin with a light-hearted joke or anecdote to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It sets a friendly tone for the rest of your speech.
• Self-Introduction: Share your name and how you know the groom. This helps establish your connection with the audience, especially those who may not know you well.
• Messages from Absent Guests: Read out messages or well-wishes from friends and family who couldn't attend. You can also include some funny or fake messages for a light-hearted touch.
• Storytime and Anecdotes: Share amusing stories and memories about the groom. Keep it friendly and respectful, and feel free to use props or photos to enhance your storytelling.
• Words of Wisdom: Offer some light-hearted and sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you're not married, you can ask married friends or family for their tips on love and marriage.
• Praise for the Couple: Share a memory or reflect on the qualities that make them a great pair. Avoid sharing details about how they met if the groom has already covered this.
• Acknowledgements: Thank the bridal party, parents, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.
• Final Toast: Conclude by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them happiness and a bright future.

Content Ideas:

• Keep it Light and Funny: Focus on humorous memories and playful roasting of the groom. Avoid edgy or offensive jokes, and stay away from best man cliches.
• Share Sentimental Moments: While humour is important, don't be afraid to include sincere and heartfelt moments in your speech. Share how the groom has impacted your life and express your gratitude for their friendship.
• Avoid Filler Content: Stay focused on the groom and avoid wasting time talking about yourself or your duties as the best man.
• Make it Personal: Share stories and anecdotes that showcase the groom's unique qualities. If you're the groom's brother, you can include a funny story about your childhood together.
• Avoid Mentioning Exes: Stay away from any stories or references to the groom's former relationships. The wedding day is about the bride, and you don't want to upset her or make her feel uncomfortable.
• Keep it Concise: Aim for a speech duration of around 7-10 minutes. This ensures your speech is engaging and doesn't disrupt the flow of the reception.

Best man speech length

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, but it's important to get it right. While it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. The best man is usually weighed down by the expectation to be funny, but it's important to keep the tone warm and never edgy.

In the UK, if there are three speakers at a wedding – the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man – the best man's speech should be no longer than 10 minutes. In the US, the same speech should be about five minutes. These timings will change depending on the number of speakers – the more speakers there are, the shorter each speech should be. If there are four speakers, for example, the best man should speak for around eight minutes; with five speakers, this is reduced to about six minutes. This is to ensure that the section of speeches doesn't run into hours. As the best man, you'll be the last speaker, and the guests will be at the limit of their concentration endurance, so if they've been sitting through 90 minutes of speeches, make your speech funny and short.

If you're one of two best men making a joint speech, this should be around 12-13 minutes. If you're making separate speeches, your speech should be about seven minutes. The timings are the same in Australia, except the best man goes after the father of the bride.

There are a few ways to approach writing your speech. You could keep things simple and form a logical progression from one piece to the next, without letting the timeline jump around or confusing the audience. Another approach is to make the whole thing a story, rather than recounting endless anecdotes. Take out the good bits from stories and condense them, or even embellish them slightly, into one neat burst of comedy.

• Introduction: Introduce yourself and explain how you know the groom.
• Story: Tell a funny but tame story about the groom.
• Heartfelt moment: Say something sincere about how happy the couple are together.
• Toast: Raise a glass to the bride and groom.

Remember, you don't have to be groundbreaking, novel or unique. Keep your speech short, sincere, and uplifting. Wish the couple well at the end.

Frequently asked questions