Wedding Interruption: What's The Protocol?

The phrase speak now or forever hold your peace is an uncommon part of modern wedding ceremonies, but it can still strike fear into the hearts of couples. The good news is that it's rare for guests to interrupt a wedding, and if they do, it's usually a joke. But what happens if someone does decide to speak now? How should a couple handle the interruption?

The officiant may acknowledge the objection and continue with the ceremony

If the objection is unexpected, the officiant can simply acknowledge it and move on. There is no need to draw further attention to the situation or provide additional details. In most cases, the objection will not have any legal merit and will be based on emotional pleas or personal opinions. As the purpose of an objection is to assess the legal eligibility of the union, an emotional objection does not carry any weight in disputing the marriage.

It is important to note that the tradition of voicing objections during a wedding ceremony is becoming less common. The custom originated during medieval times when the Catholic Church introduced it as a means of ensuring the legality of a union before finalising the marriage. At that time, information about a couple's eligibility to wed was spread through word of mouth and individual knowledge. However, with modern record-keeping and legal procedures, the practicality of this tradition has diminished.

Nowadays, most of the legal aspects of a marriage are established when applying for a marriage license, so there is little chance of a valid objection during the wedding ceremony. As a result, the phrase "speak now or forever hold your peace" is also becoming less common in wedding scripts. Couples can choose to skip this line or replace it with a new ritual that emphasises the support and inclusion of their guests.

The couple may pause the ceremony to privately discuss the objection

If a couple is concerned about a potential objection during their wedding ceremony, they can inform the officiant in advance. This way, the officiant can help to break the ice and ease the situation if an objection occurs.

In the event of an objection, the couple may choose to pause the ceremony and privately discuss the matter with the objector. Emphasising privacy is crucial to prevent the scenario from escalating into a public forum. During the private discussion, the couple can acknowledge the objector's concerns while also reinforcing their commitment to their partner. A possible response could be, "We appreciate you sharing your concerns; however, we feel differently."

It is important to note that the couple is not obligated to justify their decision to marry. Instead, they can calmly thank the objector for their concern and return to the ceremony. Once back at the altar, the officiant can make a brief apology for the interruption, and the couple can proceed with their vows.

If the objection arises from a guest who was expected to cause disruption, the couple has the option to escort them out of the ceremony. However, if the objector's concerns are deemed valid and respected, the couple may decide to halt the wedding and further investigate the situation.

The couple may continue the ceremony without addressing the objection

If a couple faces an objection during their wedding ceremony, they may choose to continue the ceremony without addressing the objection. While it is uncommon for wedding guests to break this huge wedding etiquette rule, it is within the couple's right to ignore the objection and proceed with the ceremony.

In the event of an objection, the couple could take a moment to gather themselves before deciding to continue with the ceremony. They may also choose to let the officiant know about a possible objection beforehand so that they can be prepared to handle it with grace and humour, thus ensuring the ceremony continues without interruption.

If the objection is not addressed directly by the couple, it is up to the objector to decide how to proceed. They may choose to remain seated and endure the rest of the ceremony, or they could decide to leave voluntarily or be escorted out at the couple's request.

While it is rare for officiants to include the traditional phrase "speak now or forever hold your peace" during modern wedding ceremonies, it is still a possibility. Couples who are concerned about potential objections can request that this phrase be omitted or replaced with a more inclusive ritual. Ultimately, the decision to continue the ceremony without addressing the objection lies with the couple, and they can choose to handle the situation in a way that aligns with their preferences and comfort level.

The couple may halt the ceremony to address the objection in private

If a couple has concerns about a real objection occurring on their big day, they can let the officiant know so they aren't blindsided during the ceremony. Some couples may want the officiant to halt the ceremony to address the objection in private. This approach, of course, depends on what the couple is comfortable with.

If the couple decides to address the objection in private, they can gently take the objector to the side for a discussion. Emphasis on privacy is crucial to avoid inflaming the already precarious scenario by opening up a public forum. Once in a private setting, the couple can acknowledge the objection with appreciation but reinforce their commitment to each other. For example, they could say something along the lines of, "We appreciate you sharing your concerns; however, we feel differently."

The couple is not obligated to justify their decision to get married but should calmly thank the objector for their concern and move on. It is important not to draw too much attention to the situation once the couple has returned to the altar. They can ask their officiant to make a brief apology for the interruption (without providing additional details) and thank everyone for their continued support.

If anyone brings up the interruption at the reception, the couple can simply state that it was an unfortunate and poorly timed incident. They can also express that they feel more solid and secure in their decision to marry their partner than ever before. By trying not to let it get to them and instead enjoying the celebration, the newlyweds can ensure that their guests follow suit.

The objector could be asked to leave the ceremony

If someone objects and interrupts a wedding, the objector could be asked to leave the ceremony. The officiant can note the objection and move on with the ceremony, or the couple may want to halt the ceremony to deal with the objection in private. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide how to handle the interruption.

If the couple wishes to continue with the ceremony, the officiant can make light of the situation with a joke. For example, the officiant could say, "If someone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace—except for Aunt Trudie." This approach can help to ease tension and signal to the objector that their concerns are not shared by the couple or other guests.

The couple could also choose to take a moment to gather themselves before continuing with the ceremony. This can be a way to acknowledge the objection without giving it too much attention. The officiant can make a brief apology for the interruption and thank everyone for their continued support.

It is important to note that objections during a wedding ceremony are rare. Couples typically curate their guest list to include only those who support their union. However, if a couple has concerns about a potential objection, they can let the officiant know in advance so they can be prepared to handle the situation appropriately.

In the end, the objector may be asked to leave the ceremony, either by their own choice or at the request of the couple. This can be a respectful way to handle the situation and allow the couple to continue with their wedding celebrations.

Frequently asked questions