Franklin Dean
Mormon weddings are shrouded in secrecy, with only a select few allowed to attend the ceremony. The temple marriage is a sacred affair, with only a small group of worthy Mormons allowed to witness the ritual. The bride and groom enter the sealing room, where the bride wears a modest wedding dress, and the guests are dressed in typical church attire. The sealer, or priest, gives a short speech about the importance of marriage and asks the couple to promise to care for and love one another. The couple then kneels at an altar, exchanging rings and vows, and are pronounced husband and wife. The ceremony is followed by a reception, where the couple invites all their friends and family, including those who are not Mormon.
What You'll Learn
Only select members can attend
Mormon weddings are not open to non-Mormons. Only adult members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (also known as Mormons) can attend a temple wedding. Even some practicing Mormons who are not deemed worthy of a "temple recommend" will be asked to wait outside. This means that only a select few, usually between four and 25 people, can witness the ceremony.
To be allowed to enter a temple, Mormons must meet specific criteria. They must be an adult member of record for at least a year, tithe 10% of their income to the church, abstain from tobacco, alcohol, and illicit drugs, and pass a worthiness interview with a local lay priesthood leader. Members who meet these requirements will receive a temple recommend, a card similar to a driver's license, that they must show to enter.
The small number of guests who are allowed to attend the ceremony will be invited to a sealing room in the temple, where they will watch the couple get married. Guests are expected to wear modest, conservative clothing, such as business attire. The bride will wear a modest wedding dress, and the groom will typically wear a white shirt and tie.
After the ceremony, the newlyweds will exit the temple to meet any remaining guests who were not able to attend the small ceremony. This grand exit is often a creative and exciting moment for the couple, who are now presenting themselves to the world as a married couple for the first time.
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Temple weddings are free
Mormon weddings are religious ceremonies that take place in a temple. The couple must reserve a sealing room in a recognised LDS temple and follow a few strict rules. One of the challenges for couples is that they must travel to the temple, which can be costly and time-consuming. However, the actual temple wedding ceremony is free of charge, as temples are funded by member donations to the Church.
The Sealing Ritual
The sealing ritual, which binds two people together on earth and in heaven, takes about 20 to 30 minutes. The couple kneels around an altar and repeats the vows of commitment, led by the priest or "sealer". The ritual represents their humility before God, and the sealer explains that the couple will be married and asked to care for and love one another. The bride and groom then exchange wedding rings, although this is not an official part of the ceremony. After the vows, the couple is pronounced husband and wife and receives a blessing.
Who Can Attend?
Only select LDS members can attend temple weddings, usually between four and 25 people. All attendees must be adults over the age of 18 and be members in good standing of the church. Guests wear modest, conservative church attire, with men typically in white shirts and ties, and women in dresses or skirts.
Civil Ceremonies
Mormon couples who want to celebrate with non-Mormon friends and family often choose to have a civil ceremony in addition to the temple wedding. Until 2019, couples in the US who opted for a civil ceremony had to wait a year before holding a temple wedding. However, this rule has since been updated, and couples are now permitted to hold civil ceremonies directly followed by temple sealings.
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Civil ceremonies are an option
While temple marriages are traditional in the Mormon faith, civil ceremonies are also an option. In fact, many Mormon couples choose to have civil ceremonies either instead of, or in addition to, a temple wedding, so that all their loved ones can participate.
Until 2019, couples in the United States who chose a public civil ceremony faced consequences for the decision. They were forced to wait a full year before holding a temple wedding, to re-establish their worthiness to enter the temple. This year-long wait wasn't universal, only enforced in three countries: the US, Canada, and South Africa. In other countries with large Mormon populations, such as the UK, civil ceremonies can be followed by same-day temple weddings, accommodating families with members inside and outside the faith.
After repeated petitions from members of the Church, the rules for civil ceremonies were updated in 2019. Now, couples are permitted to hold civil ceremonies directly followed by temple sealings, although the strict rules around the sealings themselves remain in place.
If a couple chooses a civil ceremony, this will usually take place in an LDS meetinghouse, in the Relief Society room or the cultural hall. The wedding will be reasonably traditional and familiar, but there will be no alcohol, coffee, or tea served, as LDS members do not imbibe. The wedding will likely be followed by a reception, open house, or celebration, where gifts should be taken.
If a couple chooses a temple wedding, they must reserve a sealing room for a specific time and date, and request and obtain a temple recommend, proving they are worthy members of the LDS Church. They must also apply for a marriage license with the state.
A civil ceremony followed by a private temple wedding is an option for Mormon couples, allowing them to include all their loved ones in the celebration of their special day.
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No alcohol or smoking at receptions
At a Mormon wedding reception, there is no alcohol served and no smoking is permitted. This is because members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints adhere to health-centred rules that include not drinking alcohol and not smoking.
Mormon wedding receptions are similar to most traditional weddings, except for the absence of alcohol. The reception usually includes eating, dancing, and toasts—all without alcohol. While some guests may not be members of the Mormon faith, the couple's decision to follow these health-centred rules is respected and upheld.
The absence of alcohol does not detract from the celebration and festivities of the reception. There is usually an abundance of delicious food and cake, as well as music and dancing. Guests can still give toasts, and the newlyweds can still enjoy a first dance and celebrate with their loved ones.
The focus of the reception is on the couple and their happiness, rather than on alcohol or smoking. It is a time for the couple to create special memories with their family and friends, regardless of their religious beliefs. The reception is a joyous occasion, filled with love and well-wishes for the newlyweds.
While the no-alcohol rule may be different from what some guests are used to, it is an important aspect of Mormon culture and traditions. The couple's commitment to their beliefs is respected, and the reception is a wonderful celebration, even without alcohol or smoking.
Rings are not part of the official ceremony
While wedding rings are exchanged in some Mormon wedding cultures, they are not part of the official ceremony. This is because the rituals of a temple marriage are short and do not involve decorations, music, or rings. The focus of the ceremony is the sealing of the marriage, which is considered an ordinance established by Joseph Smith. According to Smith, whatever is bound or sealed in a special ceremony on Earth will be bound or sealed in heaven. The point of the sealing is to establish a covenant for a marriage that survives death and is considered crucial to salvation.
The sealing ritual takes about 20 to 30 minutes, while the marriage is intended to last forever. The couple kneels around an altar and repeats the vows of commitment recited by the church member performing the sealing. The couple may clasp hands during the ceremony, and after the vows, they are pronounced husband and wife and receive a blessing from the Church.
Because the couple will want to celebrate with non-Mormon friends and family, Mormon weddings almost always include a big wedding reception party and luncheon where they can invite everyone. These celebrations can be held in a reception centre, cultural hall, home, grounds, or somewhere else. There is usually food, drinks, and sometimes dancing.
In some cases, couples may choose to have a civil ceremony before the temple sealing, especially if they are in a country where a temple marriage is not legally binding. In the past, couples in the US, Canada, and South Africa who chose to have a civil ceremony first had to wait a full year before holding a temple wedding. However, this rule was updated in 2019, and now couples are permitted to hold civil ceremonies directly followed by temple sealings.
Frequently asked questions
Only select members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) can attend a Mormon wedding. The ceremonies are short, without decorations, music, rings or ritual, and they generally occur in the mornings. The bride and groom enter the room and the priest, or "sealer", gives a short speech and explains that the couple will be married and asked to care for and love one another. The couple then kneels at an altar to represent their humility before God, and agrees to live devoted to each other and God for eternity.
Only adult members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) can attend a Mormon wedding. Guests must be in good standing with the church and typically wear conservative church attire.
There is usually a grand exit from the temple doors to meet more guests who didn't attend the small ceremony. Later, there is often a reception with food, dancing and toasts, but no alcohol.
