A Turkish Wedding: Ancient Rituals, Modern Fun

what happens at a turkish wedding

Turkish weddings are steeped in tradition and can last for days, especially in rural areas. There are many rituals, traditions, and superstitions that may seem strange to those from other cultures.

The entire family gets involved in the wedding, from the engagement process to the small details on the day. The groom's family traditionally pays for the wedding, and the bride's family pays for the engagement party.

The bride and groom try to step on each other's feet after the wedding ceremony, with the winner said to have the most power in the marriage. The bride writes the names of her single friends on the sole of her shoe, and whoever's name is most faded by the end of the night is believed to be the next to marry.

The bride and groom are pinned with gold and money by their guests, and the couple cuts the first slice of the wedding cake together before feeding it to each other.

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Henna Night: A pre-wedding celebration where the bride and her female friends and family gather for a henna ceremony

Henna Night, or Kına Gecesi, is a pre-wedding celebration and one of the most treasured bridal traditions in Turkey. It is a women-only party held at the bride's home or another venue one or two days before the wedding. The bride, wearing a red dress or cloak adorned with gold embroidery (bindallı), and her female friends and family members gather to eat, dance, and sing in celebration of the bride's last hours as a maiden. The event begins with sad songs and the bride crying as she bids farewell to her parents' home. Then the mood shifts, and the bride and her guests dance the night away.

The henna dyeing ritual is the focal point of the night. The bride-to-be sits in the middle of a group of ladies with candles in their hands, singing traditional wedding songs. The groom's female family members perform a mock struggle with the bride, prying open her closed fist and placing a gold coin in her palm. The coin symbolises good fortune, and the ritual marks the bride's acceptance of her groom and new role as a wife. The groom's family then applies henna to the bride's hands and feet. The bride's hands are wrapped in lamb's wool and satin mitts, and she is laid down to sleep for the last time in her mother's home.

Henna is considered sacred in Turkish culture, symbolising purity, procreation, and the surrender of the bride's virginity. It is also believed to protect married couples from evil.

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Gold-Adorning Ceremony: Newlyweds are gifted gold jewellery by their friends and family to help them start a prosperous future together

Turkish weddings are steeped in tradition, with ceremonies lasting several days, especially in rural areas. One of the most anticipated rituals is the Gold-Adorning Ceremony, where the newlyweds are gifted gold jewellery by their friends and family. This tradition is not unique to Turkey, as gold is often gifted to newlyweds in many cultures. However, in Turkey, the gold jewellery is usually pinned onto the bride and groom, and on more raucous occasions, dancing guests may throw money into the air. The gold gifts are chosen to be easily exchangeable for money, as they are intended to help the couple start a prosperous future together.

The Gold-Adorning Ceremony is a way for the couple's close circles to show their support and contribute to the economy of the new household. Weddings are expensive, and the gold gifts are a way to help the young couple get off to a good start. This ceremony also has a practical purpose, as the gold can be exchanged for money to support the couple's new life together.

The Gold-Adorning Ceremony is not the only time gold plays a role in Turkish weddings. During the Henna Night, which takes place a day or two before the wedding, the bride is given a gold coin by her mother-in-law, which is believed to bring good fortune. This coin is placed in the bride's palm before henna is applied and is believed to bring long-lasting love and protection from misfortune to the couple.

In addition to the Gold-Adorning Ceremony and Henna Night, there are several other unique traditions and superstitions surrounding Turkish weddings. For example, the groom is not allowed to see the bride in her wedding gown before the ceremony, as it is believed to bring bad luck. Another superstition is that whoever steps on the other's foot first after the wedding will have the ultimate say in the marriage. This tradition is said to have originated in Ancient Rome and is meant to ensure that spouses do not abandon each other.

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Stepping on Each Other's Feet: A superstition where the newlyweds try to step on each other's feet after the wedding, with the fastest believed to have the most power in the marriage

Turkish weddings are steeped in tradition and superstition, with rituals that may seem unusual to outsiders. One such superstition is the newlyweds' game of trying to step on each other's feet after the wedding. This playful competition is believed to determine who will have the most power in the marriage, with the fastest stepper deemed the dominant one. This tradition is not unique to Turkey, with similar practices observed in Greek and Orthodox weddings.

In this spirited game, the newlyweds, having just exchanged vows, attempt to step on each other's feet, each vying to be faster than the other. This playful tussle is rooted in the belief that whoever gains the upper foot will gain a metaphorical upper hand in their married life together. It is a lighthearted way to introduce an element of fun and friendly competition into the serious business of matrimony.

The tradition is also observed in Greek weddings, where it holds a similar meaning. During the church service, when a passage about a wife's respect for her husband is read, the bride tries to step on the groom's foot, symbolically asserting her power. In a humorous twist, the groom might also try to get in first, and if he's a soccer referee, he might even produce a yellow card for his new wife, as one groom did, causing much laughter among the guests.

This foot-stepping tradition is not limited to Turkish and Greek nuptials. In some Orthodox weddings, the groom steps on the bride's foot as a symbol of his dominion over her. This custom is mentioned in Jewish texts, where it is advised that if the groom steps on the bride's foot during the seven blessings, she can counter it by asking him for a glass of water, thereby regaining mastery.

The stepping-on-feet superstition is just one of many unique customs observed in Turkish weddings, which are known for their rich rituals and vibrant celebrations. Other traditions include the "Henna Night," where the bride's hands are decorated with henna, and the "Maidenhood Arch," where a red sash is tied around the bride's waist as a symbol of virginity. Turkish weddings are a colourful affair, blending ancient customs with modern practices, creating a unique and memorable experience for the couple and their guests.

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Shoe Traditions: The bride writes the names of her single friends on the sole of her shoe; the first name to rub off is said to be the next to marry

Turkish weddings are steeped in tradition, with many rituals, customs, and superstitions that may seem unusual to outsiders. One such custom is the writing of names on the bride's shoes.

Before the wedding ceremony, the bride writes the names of her single friends on the sole of her shoe. Alternatively, the bride's single relatives and friends can sign the shoe, too. After a night of dancing, the first name to rub off is said to be the next person to marry. Some believe this will happen within the year, and others think that even if their name doesn't rub off, they will meet a partner soon—maybe even at the wedding!

This is not the only shoe-related tradition in Turkish weddings. Another is the attempt by both the bride and groom to step on each other's feet after the wedding ceremony. It is said that whoever is fastest will have the most power in the marriage.

Turkish weddings are also known for their henna nights, which take place a day or two before the wedding. The bride wears red and sits in the centre, with a red veil over her head. The ceremony begins with an elder leading single women in a walk around the bride, who sing traditional songs to make the bride cry. Once she has shed tears, the bride's hands are hennaed and the rest of the night is filled with food, dancing, and merriment.

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Bride's Arrival: The bride is transported to the wedding on a horse, accompanied by a procession with a Turkish flag, which is then gifted to the groom

Brides Arrival: The bride is transported to the wedding on a horse, accompanied by a procession with a Turkish flag, which is then gifted to the groom

The bride's arrival at her wedding ceremony is one of the most important and spectacular moments in Turkish wedding culture. The bride is transported on a horse, accompanied by a joyful procession of musicians and a waving Turkish flag, which is then presented to the groom upon her arrival at the wedding venue. This tradition symbolises the bride's transition from her family home to her new wedded residence.

The ceremonial journey from the bride's family home to the wedding venue is open to the public. Guests will walk if the distance is not too far, or drive if it is. The procession is accompanied by drums and pipes, creating a lively atmosphere. In some regions, the groom is not allowed to join in with the procession and must wait at the venue for his bride-to-be.

Before the bride departs her family home, she is often adorned with a "Maidenhood Belt", usually a red sash, placed around her waist by her father or another close male relative. This sash is said to symbolise the bride's purity and bring luck and fortune. The bride then bids farewell to those remaining at home. In some cases, a male family member may block the entryway playfully, and the procession will only continue after a tip is given by the groom's family.

The bride's arrival is a highly anticipated moment, with wedding guests often lining the streets, dancing and celebrating as the bride approaches. This vibrant and joyous procession is a unique feature of Turkish weddings, reflecting the importance of family and community in Turkish culture.

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Frequently asked questions

Go for something bright, formal, and stylish. There will likely be a lot of high heels, floor-length gowns, makeup, and jewellery. However, make sure your shoes are comfortable as the ceremony is often cocktail style, which requires a lot of standing, and is followed by dancing.

Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the wedding.

The red ribbon or sash, known as the "Maidenhood Belt", symbolises the bride's virginity and is placed around her waist by her brother or a close relative.

The most popular traditional dance for weddings is the Halay, which signifies unity and cooperation.

Before sitting down for the wedding meal, the bride and groom greet their guests at their tables. Each guest bestows gold or a small gift on the couple, either by putting it in a basket or pinning it to red ribbons on their outfits.

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