Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained

An Orthodox Jewish wedding is a ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. The wedding day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the couple, with their previous transgressions wiped clean as they receive their new, complete soul. The day is also a celebration of love and a commitment to giving and supporting one another's spiritual growth.

The wedding ceremony usually takes place under an open sky, recalling the blessing God gave to Abraham. The couple stands under a canopy, or chuppah, reminiscent of Abraham and Sarah's tent, which was open on all four sides, a sign of their immense hospitality. The chuppah represents the couple's new home.

Before the ceremony, the groom and his male friends and relatives make a joyful procession to the bride, who sits on a throne surrounded by female loved ones. The groom then places a veil over the bride's face, symbolising modesty and referencing several biblical stories.

During the ceremony, the couple stands under the chuppah, and the bride circles the groom three or seven times, creating a wall of protection and symbolically building a new family circle. The couple then exchanges rings, and the ketubah, or marriage contract, is read out loud. The ketubah outlines the husband's obligations to his wife and formally constitutes the betrothal agreement.

The wedding ceremony ends with the breaking of a glass, symbolising that even in times of great joy, there is still pain in the world. Guests then shout Mazel Tov!, meaning Congratulations!.

The Aufruf

During the Aufruf, the couple is called to the Torah for a blessing called an aliyah. The rabbi then offers a blessing called misheberach, and members of the congregation throw candies, nuts, almonds, and raisins at the couple to wish them luck, happiness, and a sweet and fruitful life together. The Aufruf connects the Torah to the couple's wedding, setting the tone for sanctity and reminding the couple of their responsibility to build a home dedicated to truth and goodness.

The Ketubah

The earliest surviving ketubah is from 440 BCE and was written in Aramaic. In some Orthodox communities, the text has not changed and is still published in Aramaic. In non-Orthodox communities, couples usually use modern texts that stipulate equality and love and it is common for the couple to write the contract themselves.

The Chuppah

In the Ashkenazi tradition, the bride circles the groom three or seven times under the Chuppah. This is believed to create a magical wall of protection and to symbolise the bride creating a new family circle.

The Sheva Brachot

The blessings are traditionally chanted in Hebrew and may also be read in English. In the Sephardic tradition, a parent often wraps the couple in a tallit (prayer shawl) before the recitation of the blessings, to recognise the intimacy and significance of the moment.

Another custom is for the wine to be divided into two different cups, representing the bride and groom, which are then poured together into a third cup. The wine is then poured back into cups for the newlyweds and shared by the community. This ritual symbolises how the couple is now connected and how their lives are intertwined with the community.

For the seven days following the wedding, the newlyweds are treated like royalty and are invited to dine at the home of a different friend or relative each night. These festive meals are also called "Sheva Brachot". Following dinner, the seven blessings are recited again, as long as there is a minyan of 10 people present and at least one new guest who hadn't been at the wedding.

The Breaking of the Glass

The most common interpretation is that the act symbolises the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. In ancient times, the Temple was a central place of worship for the Jewish people, so its destruction was seen as a major tragedy for the Jewish community. The breaking of the glass is a way to remember the Temple and to mourn its loss during the joyous occasion of a wedding.

Another interpretation is that the act symbolises the end of the couple's carefree days as single individuals and the beginning of their new life as a married couple. The breaking of the glass is seen as a reminder that their lives will be forever changed and that they will be faced with new challenges and responsibilities.

A third interpretation is that the act symbolises the reality of life. Just as the glass can never be put back together again, life is unpredictable and can never be undone. The breaking of the glass is a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of preserving the unity of the family.

In addition to its symbolic significance, the breaking of the glass also has a practical purpose. It serves as a signal to the guests that the ceremony has ended and the celebration can begin. This is especially true in larger Orthodox weddings, where it can be difficult to hear the rabbi's announcement that the ceremony has concluded. The sound of the glass breaking alerts the guests that the formal part of the wedding is over, and they can now proceed to the reception.

The glass used for the breaking is usually a special glass purchased specifically for this purpose. It is typically a plain, clear glass that is easy to break and does not pose a safety hazard. The glass is wrapped in a cloth napkin or a piece of cloth to protect the couple's fingers and prevent any splinters from flying.

Traditionally, the groom performs the act of breaking the glass. However, in some cases, the couple may choose to break the glass together, or each break a separate glass. The groom places the glass on the ground and then steps on it with his right foot. As he does this, he says, "Mazel Tov!" (meaning "good luck" or "congratulations"), and the guests respond by shouting "Mazel Tov!" in return.

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