Wedding Stand: Chaos Or Custom?

Standing up at a wedding can be a divisive topic. Some people believe that it is a sign of respect, while others believe it is poor etiquette and that the comfort of the guests should be prioritised.

If someone stands up during the ceremony, it is up to the officiant to decide how to proceed. If the person has a valid legal reason for objecting to the marriage, the officiant may pause the ceremony to allow the couple and the objector to discuss the issue in private. However, if the objection is not valid or legally binding, the officiant may choose to continue the ceremony without addressing the objection.

While standing at a wedding is a common tradition, it is not a requirement and can be uncomfortable or impractical for some guests, especially those with physical limitations or injuries. Ultimately, the decision to stand or remain seated during a wedding ceremony is a matter of personal preference and should be communicated clearly to the guests to avoid confusion.

Guests may stand when the bride enters as a sign of respect

At weddings, guests may stand when the bride enters as a sign of respect. This tradition is a way of showing admiration and appreciation towards the bride. Standing allows guests to move closer to the aisle and marvel at the bride and her dress. It also adds to the festive atmosphere of the ceremony, with guests clapping and cheering for the bride.

Historically, guests would wait for the bride's mother, or another female family member, to stand before following suit. Nowadays, the wedding officiant often announces that guests should rise before the bride's entrance. However, some couples opt to remove this tradition and request that guests remain seated. This can be done through an announcement from the officiant or by including a note in the wedding program.

Some guests may prefer to stand, as it provides a better view of the bride, especially for shorter guests. Others may find it uncomfortable, especially if they are wearing uncomfortable shoes or have physical limitations. Ultimately, the decision to stand or remain seated is a matter of personal preference, and couples can choose to include or skip this tradition as they see fit.

While the tradition of standing for the bride may not have a clear historical basis, it is seen as a way to show respect and admiration. Whether guests stand or remain seated, the most important thing is that they are there to celebrate the couple's special day.

Wedding objections are for legal issues only

If someone does object at your wedding, the officiant will pause the ceremony so you can chat with the person in private. Then, you can restart the ceremony. If the objection is minor and doesn’t have any legal standing, the officiant may even just keep going with the ceremony without pausing. If the person who objects is not willing to move on, you may have to ask them to leave.

If you want to object at a wedding, it is best to talk to the couple in private before the wedding instead. If you have a legal or moral concern about the marriage, you can call the authorities or notify the courthouse that issued the marriage license. However, this is only in extreme circumstances as once a couple has been married, there is not a lot that can be done to annul or dissolve their marriage license.

It's poor etiquette to ask guests to stand

Asking guests to stand at a wedding is considered poor etiquette by some. Wedding planner Carly Rose says that inviting a guest to a wedding and asking them to stand is like asking someone to come to the store with you and expecting them to ride on the roof. "It just isn't practical and it is not polite," she says.

Etiquette expert Elaine Swann agrees, stating that guest comfort is the most important thing when planning a wedding. Asking guests to stand is poor etiquette, especially considering that guests are often dressed up and wearing uncomfortable shoes. Swann says that when you bring other people into an environment, it's important to create a welcoming and comfortable environment.

Wedding planner Amy Greenberg adds that aside from the fact that people generally don't want to dress up and stand, you never know your guests' comfort levels or situations. For example, people with back, leg, knee, or foot injuries, pregnant women, shorter people, and elderly folks may all be uncomfortable standing.

If you do want to plan a standing ceremony, wedding planners suggest keeping the guest count intimate (75 or less) and communicating with your guests so they know what to expect and can dress accordingly. It's also important to provide chairs for anyone who needs one and to keep the ceremony short.

The officiant decides how to handle an objection

If someone objects at a wedding, the officiant will pause the ceremony and decide how to handle the situation. While there are no official rules on how to proceed, the officiant typically has two options. They can either take the objecting person aside to privately understand the reason for the objection or ignore the objection and continue with the wedding.

If the officiant chooses to engage with the objector, they can take them to another room to understand the reason for the objection. If the objection is minor and holds no legal merit, the officiant can acknowledge the objection, realise that it carries no legal substance, and proceed with the wedding. In the rare case that the objection has legal merit, the officiant may need to halt the ceremony and investigate further.

If the officiant chooses to ignore the objection, the wedding guests usually deal with the objecting party and encourage them to leave.

It is important to note that wedding objections are meant for legal issues and not emotional ones. Objections should only be made if there is a legal reason that prevents the couple from getting married.

Guests may stand for the groom, too

While it is common for guests to stand when the bride enters, some couples are choosing to forgo this tradition. If you want your guests to stand, it is a good idea to have the officiant say something, as guests may otherwise remain seated out of uncertainty.

However, guests may also stand for the groom. Traditionally, the mother of the bride leads the congregation in standing when the bride enters, but some couples are moving away from this custom. One bride, for instance, chose to have the officiant ask guests to remain seated for her entrance, as she is a short person and wanted to ensure that other shorter guests would be able to see without straining. Another couple chose not to have the officiant say anything, and no one stood.

Some people believe that guests should stand for both the bride and the groom, as they are both getting married. One person commented: "I've noticed at most weddings the officiant says 'stand up for the bride' and everyone stands as the bride walks down the aisle. I really don't want people standing for me—if it's "showing respect", then why are they doing it for me and not my FH [future husband]?". Another person agreed, saying: "It's nice to stand when the groom comes in too. After all, he is getting married too!".

If you want your guests to stand for the groom, you should ask the officiant to make an announcement. This will avoid any confusion and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

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