Pre-Wedding Party: Indian Style

Indian pre-wedding parties are a vibrant, festive affair, steeped in rich tradition and ritual. They are a time for celebration, with music, dance, and lavish dishes. The pre-wedding ceremonies are often intimate, with close relatives and friends from both sides of the family, but can also be large-scale events with hundreds of guests. There are several rituals and ceremonies that take place before the wedding day, including the Roka ceremony, which is the first official announcement of the wedding, and the engagement or ring ceremony. The Haldi ceremony is a colourful and joyful day for the bride and groom, with a festival-like atmosphere, music, and dancing. The Mehndi ceremony involves applying henna to the bride's hands and feet, and sometimes the groom's too, and is accompanied by music and dancing. The Sangeet ceremony is a fun, women-centric event with singing and dancing, and in the past, it was only part of North Indian Hindu weddings, but now it has spread to South India as well. There are also other ceremonies such as the Tilak/Sagan and the cocktail and bachelor parties.

The Roka ceremony: the first official announcement of the wedding

The Roka ceremony is the first official announcement of the wedding and the first step towards marriage. It is an intimate affair where the families of the bride and groom gather together for the first time to get to know each other and plan the wedding. The ceremony is also a chance for the couple to gain consent from both families and declare their intention to marry.

During the ceremony, the families exchange gifts, sweets, dry fruits, and money. The father of the bride places money, sweets, and gifts in the groom's lap, and the same is done for the bride by her future mother-in-law, who may also gift her some jewellery. The Tilak ceremony is often performed as part of the Roka ceremony, where tilak, a paste of vermilion and rice grains, is applied to the bride and groom's foreheads to welcome the guests and mark the beginning of the event.

The Roka ceremony has evolved over time. In the past, Punjabi weddings were often arranged, and the Roka ceremony was a chance for the families to meet and for the girl's family to give money as a token of being 'rokafied' (preventing the groom from seeing other girls for marriage). Today, even in arranged marriages, the Roka ceremony is done in the presence of the couple with their consent. The ceremony has also become more elaborate, with some couples choosing to celebrate their Roka ceremony and engagement on the same day, while others keep them separate.

The Sangeet: a ceremony of music and dance

The word "Sangeet" means "sung together" in Sanskrit, and it is a pre-wedding ceremony involving lots of festive dancing and celebratory songs. It is a traditional Punjabi and North Indian custom, which has been adopted by many other regions. The ceremony is all about rejoicing and joining the two families together before the wedding.

The Ceremony

The Sangeet is usually held a day or two before the wedding, and in modern times, it is a standalone event, separate from the formal engagement. It can be a lavish affair in a hotel or a small gathering at the bride's home. Traditionally, it was a female-only event, but now it is common for men to join in the celebrations too. The bride's family performs a musical number to welcome the groom's family, and the bride is usually the focal point of the ceremony.

Song and Dance

The Sangeet is a social bond between the two families, with songs and dances performed by relatives and friends. The songs are often traditional folk songs, with "jokes" about in-laws, the bride leaving her parents' home, and how to have a successful marriage. Dances are choreographed to Bollywood songs, and the elders of the family usually lead the singing.

Food and Drink

Food is a highlight of Indian weddings, and the Sangeet is no exception. There is always an array of dishes catered by the best in the industry. The free-flowing bar is also a highlight, especially for the male guests!

Henna

Henna is a crucial part of the Sangeet. It is a culturally rich art form, and the guests are given the opportunity to indulge in this temporary body art. The bride will have had her henna done the day before, so it has time to mature for the wedding.

Dress Code

The Sangeet is a vibrant and colourful affair, and guests are encouraged to wear their most colourful and "blingiest" clothes. The focus is also on comfort and maneuverability, as the Sangeet is all about dancing. Salwar kameez or lehenga choli are traditional options for women.

The Haldi ceremony: a paste of haldi is applied to the body of the bride and groom

The Haldi ceremony is a significant pre-wedding ritual in almost every Indian regional wedding. The ceremony is usually held on the wedding day or one day prior to the wedding day. It is a close-knit event where the closest family, relatives, and friends come together to apply a paste of haldi (turmeric) on the bride and groom's face and body. The paste is believed to bless and protect the couple from evil spirits, and the colour yellow is considered auspicious, signifying prosperity.

The haldi paste is made from a mixture of turmeric, oil, and water, and sometimes other ingredients such as gram flour, yogurt, rose water, or sandalwood powder. The paste is applied to the couple's skin with mango leaves, and the ceremony is accompanied by folk songs and dance performances.

The haldi ceremony is considered a purification ritual, intended to cleanse and detoxify the skin of the bride and groom before their wedding day. It is also believed to be a beautification process, as haldi is known for its medicinal and antiseptic properties, ensuring the couple has radiant and blemish-free skin.

The haldi ceremony is a joyous and auspicious occasion, filled with music, dancing, and well-wishes for the soon-to-be-married couple. It is an important part of Indian wedding traditions, often considered as significant as the Mehendi ceremony.

The Mehendi ceremony: henna is applied to the bride's hands and feet

The Mehendi ceremony is a joyous and important pre-wedding celebration in Hindu, Sikh, and Muslim cultures. During this event, henna is applied to the bride's hands and feet in intricate patterns. The ceremony usually takes place the evening before the wedding, giving the henna enough time to dry and leaving the bride with a beautiful stain that is believed to bring luck and happiness to the couple's marriage. The darker the stain, the more love the bride will receive from her partner and in-laws, and the longer it lasts, the more fondly the mother-in-law will treat her.

The ceremony is not just about the application of henna but is also a vibrant and colourful event filled with music, dancing, and singing. The bride is surrounded by her closest female friends and family members, as well as other women from both sides of the family. The women are dressed in colourful Indian-inspired outfits, typically lenghas, saris, or salwar kameez in bright hues of green, orange, yellow, and pink. The men wear salwar kameez with a coloured shawl representing the side of the family they belong to.

The bride's henna design is the most detailed and time-consuming, often covering her forearms up to the elbows and her feet up to the ankles. This can take anywhere from two to six hours, and the paste is left on overnight. The other women may also have henna applied to one or both hands, with more simple designs taking about an hour or just a few minutes. The men may also choose to have simple henna designs applied.

The Mehendi ceremony is hosted by the bride's parents and usually takes place at their home, a relative's house, or another venue. It is not a gift-giving occasion, and guests are not expected to bring presents. Instead, the couple may give small favours to their guests, such as sweets, bangles, or henna cones. The event is filled with excitement and celebration as the bride and her loved ones come together to beautify and bless the bride before her big day.

The Tilak/Sagan ceremony: the first step to the bond between the two families

The Tilak/Sagan ceremony is considered the first step in the bond between the two families in an Indian wedding. It is one of the most important pre-wedding rituals, and is usually attended only by male members of both families.

The ceremony takes place at the groom's residence, where the father of the bride, along with other male relatives, visits the house of the groom and applies tilak on the groom's forehead. The tilak is a mark of confirmation of the groom's agreement to the marriage, and the bride's family's acceptance of him as their son-in-law. In some cases, the tilak is applied to the groom by the bride's brother.

Apart from the application of the tilak, a hawan or pooja is also performed at the groom's house. The priest chants religious hymns, and the bride's brother presents clothes, flowers, cash, fruits, and sweets to the groom. The other male relatives of the bride's family follow the same ritual to bless the groom. After the rituals, refreshments are served by the groom's family, and both families exchange congratulations to mark the beginning of their new bond.

The Tilak ceremony is a significant step in Indian weddings, as it symbolises the union of the two families and sets the tone for the upcoming wedding festivities.

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