African Wedding Traditions: A Guide

African weddings are incredibly diverse, varying between countries, communities, and ethnic groups. While there is no one-size-fits-all description of an African wedding, there are some commonalities. For example, weddings in Africa are about the union of two families, not just two individuals, and marriage is often viewed as a foundation for society and a means of procreation, rather than a bond based on love.

African weddings are also known for their vibrant colours, music, and dancing. They are a time to honour heritage and respect elders and ancestors. While each region, nation, religion, and ethnic group has its own rituals, some traditions, like jumping the broom, are often performed at both African and African-American weddings.

The Knocking Ceremony

During the knocking ceremony, the groom is accompanied by his father and other elder family members. They bring gifts such as wine, money, and kola nuts to present to the bride's family. Once the drinks are accepted, the spokesman from the groom's family announces their intentions and discusses the union of the two families. If the bride's family approves, they may request further information about the groom and his family, including their health, reputation, and financial stability.

If the bride's family is satisfied, they will provide a list of items, known as the dowry, for the groom's family to present during the ceremony. The list can be negotiated if the requested items are considered too extravagant. A date is then set for the ceremony, during which the groom's family presents the dowry and all other requested items. After the requirements are fulfilled, the bride is presented to the groom, and prayers are offered for the couple.

The Engagement Ceremony

The bride price is a crucial part of many African wedding traditions. In the past, it was a guarantee of sexual fidelity and premarital female virginity, and a way for the groom to demonstrate that he was a good provider. The bride price can be negotiated and is often paid in the form of money, animals, cereals, kitchen utensils, or clothes. Everyday consumer goods like kola nuts and dolo (millet beer) may also be included, or services such as fieldwork or repairing huts.

During the ceremony, the bride's sisters and girlfriends may jokingly hide some items from the groom's family, such as shoes, and then require money to return them. This is done to show that the bride is not easily "snatched" away from her family.

Each community in Africa has its own way of celebrating the engagement ceremony. In Kenya, the Agikuyu community calls it "Ruracio", while in South Africa, the Zulus call it "Lobola". In Burkina Faso, the Moaga tribe refers to it as "Poug PousSôm" or PPS for short.

Tasting of the Four Elements

The "Tasting of the Four Elements" is a wedding tradition rooted in the culture of the Yoruba people of Nigeria, Benin, and Togo. This ritual is a creative and symbolic way of representing the emotions and experiences that a couple will go through in their married life together.

During the ceremony, the newlyweds taste four flavours, each representing a distinct stage or element of marriage. The four elements are:

• Spicy/Heat: Represented by cayenne, jalapeno, ginger, or an African chilli pepper. This flavour symbolises the passion and desires that arise from the deepest parts of the couple's core.
• Sour: Represented by grapefruit, lemon, lime, kimchi, or vinegar. This flavour symbolises the less-than-perfect times in a relationship, where the couple may experience challenges and difficulties.
• Bitter: Represented by green tea, radicchio, cacao, mustard greens, or chicory. This flavour symbolises feelings of denial, rejection, or jealousy that may arise in the marriage.
• Sweet: Represented by honey, peaches, pears, or dates. This flavour symbolises the sweetness and positive experiences that the couple will share in their union.

The "Tasting of the Four Elements" is often chosen by non-religious and non-denominational couples who appreciate its simplicity, creativity, and symbolism. It is a unique way to showcase the couple's commitment to supporting each other through the various stages of their marriage, be it spiciness, sourness, bitterness, or sweetness.

Couples may choose to incorporate this ritual instead of or just before reciting traditional vows, creating a visually symbolic complement to their verbal promises. The officiant can guide the couple and guests through the ceremony, explaining the meaning of each flavour and its relevance to the couple's journey ahead.

The "Tasting of the Four Elements" is a beautiful way to honour Black heritage and culture at a wedding, connecting the couple and their guests to the rich traditions of the Yoruba people.

The Libation Ceremony

The ceremony can be elaborate, including African drumming, dance, languages, toasts, poetry, and call-and-response. Alternatively, it can be simple, with a single speaker leading the ritual. The ceremony usually begins with a greeting and an explanation for visitors. The person pouring the libation holds up a cup of the chosen liquid and asks for the blessing of the most senior elder present before beginning their call. The call may start with an African proverb or a familiar saying, such as "In the spirit of remembrance, we pour this libation." The names of beloved ancestors are then spoken aloud, and a prayer or speech is said to honour the elders while the libation is poured.

The liquid is poured onto the ground, into a plant, or in the four cardinal directions. Pouring in the four cardinal directions acknowledges the different qualities of each direction and ensures the entire Earth is covered. The Earth represents where we come from and where we return, while a living plant symbolises life and our ties to the Earth.

Traditional Attire

At a Kikuyu wedding, both the bride and groom wear golden/brown lessos decorated with beads. Modern brides might also wear an Ankara or kitenge dress for a more stylish and contemporary look.

Yoruba wedding attire for the bride consists of a gele (a headscarf that is elaborately tied), a buba (blouse), and an iro (a large piece of material that is tied around the bride's waist and is usually ankle-length). The colour of the bride's outfit reflects the colour theme chosen by her family, which is also reflected in the groom's outfit. The groom wears an agbada, a traditional four-piece outfit.

At an Oromo wedding, the bride wears a Habesha wedding dress with Habesha jewellery, while the groom wears Buffalaa-Uffannaa Gaa'elaa.

Finally, at an Ashanti wedding, the bride and groom wear colourful attire made from kente cloth. The bride also wears colourful beads and beaded head decorations.

Frequently asked questions