A Presbyterian Wedding: What To Expect

A Presbyterian church wedding is a Christian ceremony of worship and celebration, where two people are joined together as one. The ceremony is overseen by an officiating pastor and includes scripture readings, prayer, and the lighting of a unity candle. It is a service of worship, where couples tie the knot and honour God's blessing over their union. The wedding ceremony includes the entrance of the wedding party, sentences of scripture, a statement on the gift of marriage, prayer, declarations of intent, affirmations of the families, a reading from scripture, a brief sermon, the exchange of vows and rings, and the announcement of marriage.

The wedding ceremony

A Presbyterian wedding ceremony is a Christian ceremony of worship and celebration, where two people are joined together as one. It is a divine institution, though not a sacrament.

• The entrance of the wedding party
• Sentences of scripture
• A statement on the gift of marriage
• Prayer
• Declarations of intent
• Affirmations of the families
• Affirmation of the congregation
• A reading from scripture
• A brief sermon
• The exchange of vows
• The exchange of rings
• Prayer
• The Lord's Prayer
• The announcement of marriage
• The charge and blessing

The ceremony will be overseen by an officiating pastor, who will ask for God's blessing on the couple as they honour the promises they make in matrimony.

The couple will affirm their desire and intention to enter into the covenant of marriage during their declarations of intention. The pastor will then ask the couple to face each other, join hands, and declare their vows. The vows are promises made in accordance with God's ordinance.

The exchange of rings follows the vows, with the pastor asking for God's blessing as the couple speaks to each other and exchanges rings.

The pastor will then announce the marriage and give a final blessing.

The wedding reception

• Location: The reception can be held at a variety of venues, such as a hotel banquet hall, a garden, or even the fellowship hall of the church. If choosing to use the church's fellowship hall, it is important to reserve it in advance and note that alcoholic beverages are not permitted on the premises.
• Timing: It is customary to hold the reception shortly after the wedding ceremony. This allows guests to transition smoothly from the ceremony to the celebration. When planning the timing, ensure that there is enough time for the wedding party to arrive and for any necessary setup.
• Food and Beverages: The food and beverage choices for the reception can vary depending on personal preferences and cultural traditions. It is common to have a variety of options, including hors d'oeuvres, a seated dinner, or a buffet. It is essential to consider the dietary restrictions of your guests and provide alternatives for those who may have food allergies or special dietary needs.
• Decorations: When decorating the reception venue, it is important to create an elegant and festive atmosphere. Flowers, candles, and other decorative elements can be used to enhance the space. However, it is crucial to follow the guidelines of the venue. For example, when decorating within the church, avoid using nails, tacks, or screws, and always use plastic sheeting under candles to prevent wax from dripping onto furniture or carpets.
• Music and Entertainment: Music plays a vital role in setting the tone for the reception. It is customary to have a mix of upbeat and romantic songs that reflect the joy and love of the newlywed couple. Live music, such as a band or a DJ, can add to the festive atmosphere. If the reception is held at the church, ensure that the music adheres to the guidelines of sacred character and appropriateness for Sunday worship.
• Photography: Capturing memories through photography is an essential part of the reception. The photographer can take candid shots of the newlyweds, their families, and guests during this time. It is important to communicate with the photographer about the specific moments they should capture, such as the cutting of the cake, the first dance, and any other special traditions or rituals.
• Activities and Games: Wedding receptions often include a variety of activities and games to engage the guests and create a fun atmosphere. This can include traditional activities such as the bouquet toss, garter toss, or special dances. It is also an opportunity for guests to socialize, catch up with friends and family, and create new connections.
• Toasts and Speeches: The reception is a perfect time for toasts and speeches honouring the newlyweds. It is customary for the best man, maid of honour, parents of the bride and groom, and other close friends or family members to share their well-wishes, anecdotes, and words of wisdom for the couple. These speeches add a personal touch to the celebration.
• Cake Cutting: The cutting of the wedding cake is a traditional and symbolic part of the reception. It often takes place after the main course or as a separate dessert. The newlyweds cut the first slice together, feeding each other a bite, which symbolises their commitment and unity.
• First Dance: The first dance between the newlyweds is a romantic and memorable moment. It is customary for the couple to choose a special song that reflects their relationship. This dance signals the start of the dancing portion of the reception, inviting other guests to join in and celebrate.
• Guest Book: It is a thoughtful idea to have a guest book at the reception for guests to sign. This allows the couple to have a memento of everyone who attended and shared their special day. The guest book can also include space for guests to leave well-wishes, advice, or funny anecdotes for the newlyweds to cherish.
• Favours: Sending guests home with a small favour or gift is a thoughtful way to show appreciation for their attendance. Favours can vary depending on the theme and budget of the wedding. It is a way to thank guests for their presence and participation in the celebration.

Remember, the wedding reception is a time to celebrate love, family, and the union of two people. Enjoy the festivities, savour the moments, and create lasting memories with your loved ones!

The wedding vows

The traditional Presbyterian wedding vows are as follows:

> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband/wife; and I promise, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife; in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; as long as we both shall live.

There is also an alternative version of the vows:

> I, [name], take thee [name], to be my wedded husband/wife, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be thy loving and faithful wife/husband; in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

During the exchange of vows, the guests may be asked to stand. The pastor or minister will then ask the couple to face each other, join their right hands, and bind themselves to each other as husband and wife. In heterosexual marriages, the man typically speaks his vows first.

After the vows, the couple may exchange wedding rings as a sign of their promises. The pastor or minister will then say a prayer, asking for God's blessing. The couple will then speak to each other as they exchange rings.

> [Name], I give you this ring as a sign of our covenant, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

>

> I receive this ring as a sign of our covenant, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

It is important to note that if one of the individuals is not a Christian, the phrase "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit" should be omitted.

The wedding party's arrival

The wedding party, including the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and any other participants, should plan to arrive at the church early, allowing ample time for final preparations and coordination with the vicar or minister. Arriving early also ensures that everyone is ready and in place before the ceremony begins. It is respectful to the vicar and prevents the groom from anxiously waiting at the altar.

As the wedding party arrives, the vicar will sort out the bridal party at the entrance, inform the organist, bell ringers, and choir, if applicable. The photographer can liaise with the vicar and capture some photos of the wedding party outside the church before proceeding to the front of the altar to signal the groom that everything is under control.

For the processional, the vicar will lead the way, followed by the bridesmaids, with enough space between them for the photographer to capture stunning shots. The bride will walk down the aisle last, escorted by her father or a family member of her choice. If the bride wears a veil, her escort will lift it as they reach the end of the aisle, which is another great photo opportunity.

The vicar will then welcome everyone to the church and make a few announcements, such as requesting no photos, if that is the couple's preference. They will also ask who gives the bride away, and the escort will "hand over" the bride to the groom, symbolising her transition from one family to another.

A hymn is typically sung at this point, and it is advisable to choose well-known hymns that guests can comfortably sing along with. The vicar will then introduce the ceremony, speaking about the purposes of the wedding and God's role in the union. This introduction is usually followed by a declaration and the vows.

The vicar will ask the congregation if there is any reason why the couple should not marry, lightening the mood with a friendly warning to refrain from joking. The couple will then face each other, hold hands, and declare their commitment to each other by answering, "I will."

The vicar will request support and blessings from the guests for the couple, and the expected response is a resounding "We will." A Bible reading will follow, usually done by one of the guests, and the vicar may share a sermon or talk about love, happiness, and the significance of the occasion.

The exchange of rings

The best man is usually asked to step forward and give the rings to the vicar, who blesses them before the exchange. The couple then take the opposite ring and place it on each other's ring finger. The vicar may say a blessing as the rings are exchanged and may ask the couple to hold the ring over the finger instead of pushing it all the way on.

The couple may also be asked to say a short vow to each other as they exchange rings:

> 'I give this ring as a sign of our marriage.

> With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.'

After the rings are placed on each other's fingers, the vicar will say:

> ' [Name] and [name] have declared their marriage by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings. I, therefore, proclaim that they are husband and wife.'

Frequently asked questions