Wedding Consultations: Planning Your Big Day

A wedding consultation is an exciting opportunity for wedding planners to meet their potential clients and understand their vision for their big day. It is a two-way conversation where the planner gets to know the couple and their expectations, and the couple learns about the planner's services and experience. During the consultation, the couple shares details such as their ideal date, number of guests, venue preferences, and overall budget. The planner, on the other hand, showcases their portfolio, asks thoughtful questions, and provides valuable insights to help the couple make informed decisions. The goal is to build a connection, address any concerns, and ultimately secure the client's booking.

Budget

How to Determine Your Budget

The first step in determining your wedding budget is to have an honest conversation with your partner about how much you are willing to spend. Be realistic about what you can afford, and consider what is most important to you. For example, you might allocate more money to your venue and less to your flowers. It's also important to factor in any contributions from family members or other sources.

Typical Wedding Budget Breakdown

According to The Knot's 2023 Real Weddings Study, the average cost of a wedding is $35,000, excluding the engagement ring. Here's a breakdown of the typical wedding budget:

• 37% - Venue
• 29% - Catering/Food
• 12% - Live entertainment/Band
• 9% - Wedding bands
• 8% - Photography
• 8% - Alcohol
• 8% - Flowers
• 7% - Videographer
• 7% - Couples' attire
• 6% - Wedding planner
• 6% - Event rentals
• 5% - Lighting and decor
• 5% - DJ
• 3% - Guest entertainment
• 3% - Transportation
• 3% - Ceremony musicians
• 3% - Hair and makeup
• 2% - Stationery/Paper goods
• 2% - Cake/Desserts
• 1% - Wedding favors and gifts
• 1% - Officiant
• 1% - Additional jewelry

Questions to Ask About Budget

During your wedding consultation, your wedding planner will likely ask you a series of questions to better understand your budget and expectations. These may include:

• What is your overall budget for the wedding?
• What is your budget for the wedding dress/suit?
• Will the bridal party be responsible for their own attire?
• Will you need a makeup artist and hairstylist?
• Are you paying for flights and lodging for a destination wedding?

Guest list

The guest list is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. Here are some detailed tips and suggestions to help you navigate the guest list process and ensure that your special day includes all the people who matter to you.

Initial Considerations

Start by creating a master list that includes everyone you would invite if there were no limitations of space or budget. Begin with immediate family and close friends, and then expand to include colleagues, schoolmates, distant relatives, acquaintances, their partners, and children. Once you have this comprehensive list, you can start refining and making decisions about who to invite.

Prioritize Must-Have Guests

Identify your top-tier guests, also known as the A-list or non-negotiables. These are the people you simply couldn't imagine getting married without. Ensure they receive invites regardless of other constraints.

Determine Guest Capacity

The size of your venue will dictate the number of guests you can invite. If you already have a venue in mind, find out its capacity. If not, consider the type of venue you envision (e.g., a grand country house, an intimate barn, or a beach wedding) and research the typical capacities of such venues. This will give you a realistic idea of how many guests you can accommodate.

Budgetary Constraints

Each additional guest increases the cost of your wedding. Consider the expenses associated with each guest, such as an extra chair, dinner, slice of cake, and favours. Work out a realistic budget for your wedding and allocate a portion of it to cover these guest-related costs. This will help you determine the maximum number of guests you can afford to invite.

Involve Your Parents

Traditionally, both sets of parents have a say in the guest list, especially if they are contributing financially. Discuss your plans with them early on and be open to their input. You can even allocate a specific number of seats for them to fill as they wish, as long as it aligns with your venue and budget constraints. This approach can help maintain family harmony and ensure that your parents feel involved in the process.

Be Fair and Consistent

Try to treat members of different families equally to avoid hurt feelings. For example, if you invite four cousins from one family, the fifth cousin might feel left out. Similarly, if one great-grandparent is invited, consider extending the invitation to the other side of the family as well. An all-or-nothing approach is often easier to explain and can prevent misunderstandings.

Manage Plus Ones

Plus ones can be tricky, especially when you don't know the guest's partner well. Set clear criteria, such as inviting only those in long-term relationships or those you have met personally. You might also consider the length of their relationship; for instance, inviting only those who have been together for over a year. However, use your discretion and be mindful of guests who might feel more comfortable with a plus one, such as those travelling from out of town.

Handle Tricky Invitations

You might feel pressured to invite certain people, such as colleagues or distant relatives, out of guilt or obligation. Remember, it's your day, and there's no rule that says you must invite anyone you don't want to. Assess your current relationship with these individuals, and chances are if you aren't close, they won't be offended by not receiving an invitation.

Stagger Your Invites

Your initial guest list might not be set in stone. Etiquette suggests sending invitations at least eight to ten weeks in advance. As you receive responses, you might find you have some spots to fill. Consult your master list and send out invitations to those you would have loved to include initially. Just be sure to send these invitations promptly to avoid making them feel like an afterthought.

Practical Tools

Use practical tools like Excel or wedding guest list apps to manage your guest list. Create columns for guest names, addresses, phone numbers, RSVPs, dietary requirements, and the number of guests and plus ones attending. This will help you stay organised and make it easier to communicate final numbers to your vendors.

Wedding type

The type of wedding service a couple chooses will depend on their unique needs and preferences. Here are some of the most common types of wedding planner services:

• Hourly Wedding Planner Service: This is best suited for brides who only need help with a few specific tasks, such as finding a band or a venue. The planner charges by the hour or by the meeting, with a minimum time requirement. They provide advice and guidance, teach planning skills, and may or may not be present at the wedding.
• Full-Service Wedding Planner Service: This comprehensive service is ideal for busy brides who need hands-on professional help from start to finish. Full-service planners recommend and work with suppliers, accompany clients to appointments, manage guest lists and RSVPs, create budgets, plan wedding parties, help create the wedding theme and style, and provide ongoing support. They are also present on the wedding day to ensure everything runs smoothly.
• 'Day-of' Wedding Planner Service: This option is for brides who can manage the details themselves but want a professional to oversee the wedding day. The planner gets involved about a month before the wedding to coordinate with suppliers and manage the day's schedule.
• Referrals-Only Wedding Planner Service: This free service for the bride involves providing vendor recommendations based on the couple's style and budget. The wedding planner receives a referral fee from the vendors, not the couple.

During the consultation, the wedding planner will ask a range of questions to understand the couple's vision and expectations. This includes details such as the type of wedding (micro, pop-up, traditional, religious, etc.), the guest list size, the budget, the desired style and theme, the timeline, and the location.

The planner will also discuss their services, fees, and what the couple can expect from them. This initial consultation helps determine if the planner is a good fit for the couple's wedding type and needs.

Schedule

Before the consultation

Before the consultation, it is important to review the planner's service offerings and pricing. If the planner's costs are not within your budget, it is best to look elsewhere. Both partners should plan to attend the initial meeting. It is also a good idea to prepare some questions about the planner's services and process.

During the consultation

The consultation will involve a lot of questions from the planner, so be prepared to discuss details such as the date, number of guests, venue, and budget. The planner will also want to get to know you as a couple.

After the consultation

At the end of the consultation, the planner may discuss next steps, such as sending over a proposal. It is also common courtesy to let the planner know if you do not wish to proceed. Following the meeting, the planner may send over a contract and request a deposit.

Vendors

One of the most important things a wedding planner can bring to a consultation is a list of vendors. This can include photographers, bakers, florists, DJs, and other industry professionals that the planner has worked with in the past and would recommend. This legitimises the planner's industry knowledge and experience.

It is also important for the planner to be aware of the couple's budget, as well as their expectations, so that they can recommend vendors that are suitable. For example, if a couple is looking for a simple, elegant wedding, the planner might suggest a particular photographer who specialises in that style. Alternatively, if the couple is planning a destination wedding, the planner could suggest vendors who have experience with the logistics of planning a wedding in that particular location.

The planner should also be prepared to answer any questions the couple might have about the vendors. This could include questions about pricing, availability, or specific services offered. In some cases, the couple may want to be put in direct contact with the vendors to discuss their requirements in more detail.

In addition to recommending vendors, the planner can also offer to coordinate and manage those vendors throughout the wedding planning process. This can include tasks such as negotiating contracts, confirming bookings, and handling payments. By offering this service, the planner can provide a valuable layer of organisation and ensure that all the selected vendors work together smoothly on the wedding day.

Finally, it is worth noting that a good wedding planner will also be open to working with any vendors that the couple may have personal connections to or preferences for. In this case, the planner can still play an important role in communicating the couple's vision to those vendors and ensuring that they are well integrated into the overall wedding plan.

Frequently asked questions