The Honor And Responsibility Of Being A Wedding Party Member

A wedding is a ceremony or celebration of marriage, often accompanied by festivities. It is a formal way to mark the union of two people, and can be a simple civil ceremony or an elaborate event with religious rituals, food, drink, and many guests. The wedding party is a group of people picked by the couple to participate in the ceremony, including the best man, maid of honour, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girls, ring bearers, and the parents of the couple.

The wedding party

The best man is usually a close friend or sibling of the groom, and he holds the wedding rings until their exchange. The maid of honour, or the matron/man/person of honour, is the bride's chief attendant and is usually her closest friend or sibling. Bridesmaids are female attendants to the bride, and groomsmen or ushers are male attendants to the groom. Young attendants may carry the bride's train and are called pages. Flower girls scatter flower petals in front of the bride, and ring bearers carry the rings down the aisle.

The ceremony

A wedding ceremony is a ritual where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions vary across cultures, religions, and social classes, but most ceremonies involve an exchange of vows, gifts, and a public proclamation of marriage.

The wedding ceremony is usually overseen by a marriage officiant, such as a priest, civil celebrant, or judge. This person is responsible for validating the wedding from a legal and/or religious standpoint.

Once everyone is in place, the officiant welcomes the guests and introduces the couple. They may share a brief recounting of the couple's love story or reflect on the significance of marriage. If there are any readings, poems, or prayers, these are usually done at this point.

The officiant then addresses the couple, speaking about the responsibilities of marriage and the sanctity of the vows. The couple recites their vows to each other, followed by the exchange of rings. The couple then seals their marriage with a kiss.

In some ceremonies, there may be a unity ritual, such as lighting a single candle together or binding their hands with a ribbon. Religious weddings may include a final prayer, while non-religious ceremonies may have words of encouragement or a poem.

Finally, the officiant pronounces the couple as married and introduces them for the first time as a married couple. The newlyweds then lead the recessional back down the aisle as guests cheer and celebrate.

The reception

As the cocktail hour ends, guests are invited to enter the reception space and find their tables. The wedding party and immediate family members line up to make their grand entrance, with the DJ or band playing upbeat music and introducing the couple's parents and wedding party.

The newlyweds are then introduced and enter the reception to a celebratory tune, marking their first entrance as a married couple. This is followed by a speech or blessing, and then the reception meal.

Toasts and speeches are typically given during the meal. The best man goes first, followed by the maid of honour, and then the parents of either spouse. Each speech should be brief, between one and three minutes. The couple may also give a thank-you speech at this time.

After the meal and toasts, the couple and their parents dance. This includes the father-daughter dance and/or the mother-son dance.

The DJ or band then invites all guests to the dance floor, drawing them with a playlist of upbeat songs and romantic ballads. The newlyweds' first dance may also take place at this time, if it hasn't already.

The wedding cake is then brought to the dance floor for the cake-cutting ceremony, where the couple cuts the first slice and feeds it to each other.

Dancing continues as the cake is served to the guests. If the couple chooses to do a garter and/or bouquet toss, this will require another break in the dancing.

Wedding attire

Traditional Western Attire:

The traditional Western custom of the white wedding, popularised by Queen Victoria, features a bride in a white dress and veil. This symbolises purity and innocence, believed to ward off evil spirits. For men, morning dress or formal daytime attire is common. More formal evening weddings often call for white tie or black-tie attire.

Cultural and Regional Variations:

• Ao Dai: Traditional Vietnamese garments, often chosen for weddings.
• Barong Tagalog: Embroidered formalwear for men in the Philippines.
• Batik and Kebaya: Worn by the Javanese people of Indonesia and the Malay people of Malaysia.
• Dashiki: Traditional West African wedding attire.
• Dhoti: Male garment in South India.
• Hanbok: Colourful, traditional clothing worn at Korean weddings.
• Kilt: Worn at Scottish weddings, often with a tartan sash for the bride.
• Qun Gua or Kua: Chinese traditional formal wear, which can take the form of a qipao or hanfu.
• Sari/Lehenga: Popular and traditional attire for women in India.
• Sherwani: A long coat-like garment worn by men in South Asia.
• Shiromuku Kimono: Traditional Japanese wedding attire.

Contemporary Trends:

While traditional attire is still prevalent, contemporary trends offer a range of options for wedding attire:

• Non-traditional "tuxedo" variants: Coloured jackets, ties, and "wedding suits" offer a modern twist on formalwear.
• Cultural appreciation: Embracing the cultural significance of the wedding, such as Khloe Kardashian wearing a traditional lehenga choli at the Ambani-Merchant wedding in India.
• Personalisation: Couples may add their own twist, such as Jay Shetty's playful interpretation of the kurta and pants at the same wedding.
• Comfort and practicality: Microweddings, popularised during the COVID-19 pandemic, often feature more casual attire due to their smaller, intimate nature.

Wedding gifts

If the couple has a wedding registry, it is a good idea to browse their list and help them complete their home with items like dinnerware, home decor, drinkware, and kitchenware. If they do not have a registry set up, you can gift them something more personalised, like a keepsake or an item reflecting their interests.

• Crystal items like wine glasses, vases, and decorative objects.
• Dinnerware sets with delicate bone china or classic porcelain.
• Flatware to complement their dinnerware and drinkware.
• Picture frames in silver, crystal, or gold that can be filled with photos of the couple's special day.
• Kitchen appliances like stand mixers, air fryers, slow cookers, or multi-purpose pots and pans.
• Personalised or handmade items like embroidered napkins, a hand-carved wooden box, or a hand-casting kit for couples.
• Luggage sets or travel essentials like packing cubes.
• Gift cards or vouchers for experiences, such as a romantic getaway or gourmet dining.
• Home decor items like a custom doormat, a framed artwork, or a bath caddy.
• Sentimental gifts like a wedding photo frame, a scrapbook, or a journal to commemorate their first few years of marriage.

Frequently asked questions