Quaker Weddings: Outdoor Ceremonies, Allowed Or Not?

Quaker weddings, also known as self-uniting ceremonies, are a type of ritual that does not require an officiant to marry the couple. This tradition stems from the Quaker faith, where weddings are usually simple and occur without much fanfare. In a Quaker wedding, the couple exchanges vows and signs a marriage contract in the presence of their closest friends and family. The ceremony is often followed by a long period of silent, open worship, during which attendees may speak on behalf of the couple. While Quaker weddings traditionally take place at a Friends Meeting House, they can also be held outdoors, as long as an alternate location is planned in case of rain.

No officiant is required at a Quaker wedding

A Quaker wedding is a self-solemnizing ceremony, meaning that the couple marries themselves. This is because Quakers believe that only God can unite a couple in marriage, and there are no ordained ministers in the Quaker church. As a result, no officiant is required at a Quaker wedding.

In the past, Quakers faced criticism from outsiders for marrying without priests or ministers. However, this tradition stems from their belief that marriage is a commitment made between two people and God, and that the marriage is merely "witnessed" by those present.

The absence of an officiant gives Quaker weddings a distinctive character. The ceremony typically begins with a period of silent worship, during which the couple exchanges vows when they feel 'led' to do so. This is followed by the signing of a Quaker marriage certificate, which is then read aloud. All attendees are then invited to share words of support or encouragement for the couple, and the meeting ends with everyone signing the certificate as witnesses.

While self-uniting ceremonies are only legal in a few states, they offer a flexible and accessible option for couples who wish to marry outside of a traditional church setting.

The couple must write a letter to the Meeting to be married under their care

When a couple decides to marry under the care of the Meeting, the first step is to write a letter to the Clerk of the Meeting expressing their intention to marry under the Meeting's care. The letter must be signed by both members of the couple. If either individual is under the age of 18, the letter must be accompanied by written consent from their parents or guardians. If neither individual is a regular attender of the Meeting, the letter should include some background information about the couple and why they wish to have a Quaker wedding.

Once the letter is received, the Meeting will appoint a clearness committee to discuss the couple's potential marriage. The committee will meet with the couple to ask thoughtful questions about their relationship, family commitments, values, and more to gain a clear understanding of their marriage. If the couple belongs to different Meetings, two clearness committees will be formed. If a Quaker is marrying a non-Quaker, the committee will also meet with friends and relatives of the non-Quaker to learn more about them.

After the clearness committee approves the marriage, a new committee, called the oversight committee, is formed to help the couple plan the wedding details. The oversight committee is typically composed of two men and two women, often chosen by the couple, and they assist with tasks such as reserving the meetinghouse, signing the marriage license, checking the wording of the wedding certificate, fulfilling legal requirements, and handling reception logistics.

The oversight committee will also be present at the wedding ceremony and report back to the Monthly Meeting afterward. Weddings held under the care of the Meeting are usually open to anyone from the Meeting who wishes to attend, in addition to the couple's invited guests. However, the couple may choose to restrict the reception to family and invited guests only.

The process of holding a Quaker wedding takes time, and it is recommended to start a minimum of 6-8 weeks before the anticipated wedding date, with 3-4 months being preferable.

A clearness committee is formed to discuss issues involved in marriage with the couple

A clearness committee is a group of three or four Friends, sometimes including the pastoral minister. They meet with the couple intending to marry to ask thoughtful questions about their relationship, family commitments, values, and more. Through careful listening, consideration, and quiet worship, the committee determines if the couple is likely to be happy and successful, and what potential hurdles they might face.

The process involves addressing potential difficulties and discussing the spiritual nature of marriage. If the clearness committee approves of the proposed marriage, they recommend to the meeting that the couple be married. If the couple belongs to two different Meetings, two clearness committees are formed. If a Quaker marries a non-Quaker, the clearness committee will meet with friends and relatives of the non-Quaker to learn more about them before making a decision.

Once the Committee of Clearness approves of the marriage, a new committee is formed to help the couple plan the details of the celebration. This group is called an Oversight Committee. The Oversight Committee is usually made up of two men and two women, often chosen by the couple. They help with details such as reserving the meetinghouse, signing the marriage license, checking the wording of the wedding certificate, and ensuring that all legal requirements are met.

A self-uniting marriage license is required in Pennsylvania

The process of obtaining a self-uniting marriage license in Pennsylvania is similar to that of a regular marriage license. The couple must appear in person at the Marriage License Department and complete an application. An email address is required, and the application can be completed online. The couple must also provide photo identification and proof of identity, such as a driver's license, state-issued photo ID, international driver's license, or passport.

There is a 3-day waiting period after the application has been submitted, which is required by Pennsylvania law. The marriage license is then sent to the couple or can be picked up from the Marriage License office. The license is valid for 60 days from the issue date, and the couple must get married within this time frame. The license must then be signed by the couple and two witnesses and returned to the Marriage License Department within 10 days.

The cost of a self-uniting marriage license in Pennsylvania is $80-$100, the same as a traditional marriage license.

The marriage certificate is signed by all in attendance

The marriage certificate is a key part of a Quaker wedding. After the couple has exchanged their vows, they will sign the marriage certificate, which will then be read aloud. This certificate is a requirement of Britain Yearly Meeting and is kept by the couple. It is not normally recognised by any organisation outside of the Religious Society of Friends.

The certificate is then signed by all those in attendance. This is a continuation of the tradition that began when Quaker marriages were not yet legal. To be as public as possible, everyone who witnessed the wedding was asked to sign a certificate saying that the couple was married. This helped prove to the civil authorities that the marriage should be recognised. Now, the tradition of the certificate has continued, and for many couples, it is more than just a memento of the day. It reminds them of the spiritual commitment they have made to each other in front of witnesses.

The marriage certificate is often hung prominently in the couple's home, and many people say that this simple signing ceremony is one of their favourite parts of Quaker weddings. The certificate is a cherished keepsake, as all of the guests at the wedding are asked to sign it.

In addition to the Quaker marriage certificate, there is also a Quaker civil marriage certificate, which is recognised by the government and institutions such as banks. This certificate is signed by the couple and four witnesses.

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