Renewing Vows: A Love Reinforced

Renewing your wedding vows is a way for married couples to celebrate and reaffirm their commitment to one another. It is a chance to express ongoing love and gratitude for one another, often in front of friends and family. Couples may choose to renew their vows to mark a milestone anniversary, to celebrate overcoming a difficult period in their marriage, or simply to have the wedding they never had. It is a chance to rewrite vows to make them more meaningful and relevant to the couple's experiences.

Celebrating a milestone anniversary

Vow renewals are typically held on milestone wedding anniversaries, such as the 5th, 10th, 25th, or 50th anniversary. However, there is no rule that says you have to wait for a special occasion. You can renew your vows whenever you feel it is the right time to celebrate and reaffirm your love.

When planning a vow renewal ceremony for a milestone anniversary, here are some things to consider:

• Location: Choose a venue that is meaningful to you. It could be a place of worship, your home, a beach, a garden, or even a destination vow renewal.
• Guests: Invite your loved ones, including family and close friends, to share this special moment with you.
• Theme: You can incorporate the traditional gift associated with your anniversary year into your vow renewal theme. For example, for a 25th silver anniversary, you could use silver candlesticks or decorations.
• Attire: There is no need to wear a wedding dress or a tux unless you want to. Choose an outfit that reflects the formality of the event and makes you feel comfortable.
• Officiant: You can ask a friend or family member to officiate the ceremony, making it more personal and meaningful.
• Vows: Rewrite your wedding vows to make them more relevant to your life together and the experiences you have shared.
• Rings: You may choose to exchange new or upgraded wedding rings as a symbol of your renewed commitment.
• Photography: Hire a photographer to capture this special moment so that you can look back on the memories for years to come.

Remember, there is no standard protocol for a vow renewal ceremony. You can make it as extravagant or simple as you like. It is your day to celebrate your love and recommit to each other, so feel free to personalise the ceremony to make it meaningful and unique to you.

Overcoming a relationship hurdle

Renewing your wedding vows is a celebratory ceremony for married couples to publicly recommit to their relationship. It is an opportunity to reflect on the journey they have taken together, including any challenges they have overcome.

Renewing wedding vows can be a powerful way to reinforce that, despite the tough times, a couple is still together. It can be seen as a fresh start for their marriage and their future together.

A couple may have faced a rocky patch in their marriage due to various reasons, such as illness, infidelity, or other personal hurdles. By renewing their vows, they can choose to leave behind past struggles and embark on a new chapter filled with hope, love, and mutual understanding.

The ceremony provides a moment to pause and reflect on their journey together, acknowledging the growth and change that has occurred since their wedding day. It is a chance to celebrate the resilience and strength of their relationship and to recommit to supporting and cherishing each other.

Renewing vows is also an opportunity to revise the promises made to each other, ensuring they align with the couple's current values and priorities. This open and honest dialogue is vital for a healthy, evolving relationship, allowing both partners to feel heard, understood, and valued.

Additionally, the ceremony can be an opportunity to include family and friends, creating a sense of togetherness and shared happiness. It is a way to share the joy of their enduring commitment with those who have supported and witnessed their relationship's journey.

There are no hard and fast rules for renewing wedding vows, and couples can choose to do so at any time in their marriage. It is a chance to celebrate their love and recommit to one another, no matter what hurdles they have overcome.

Including family and friends

Readings and blessings

Children, close relatives, and friends can do readings during the ceremony. You could also ask an older married couple, such as your parents or grandparents, to offer blessings and share wisdom. Their long-lasting marriage can serve as an inspiration and add substance to the ceremony.

Wishes from children

If you have younger children, you could invite them to share their wishes for you. The innocence of children often shines through in what they say, and their participation can add moments of whimsy to the ceremony.

Written wishes from guests

You could ask a younger married couple in your family to collect written wishes from guests before the ceremony or during the reception. Reading these notes after the celebration will be a wonderful way to reflect on your marriage and mentor the younger couple.

Candles or a moment of silence

The lighting of candles is a lovely way to remember deceased loved ones who would have attended the ceremony. Alternatively, you can opt for a moment of silence, accompanied by the ringing of a bell or the striking of a gong for each deceased loved one.

Invitations

Invitations can be sent out by the couple or their children. If sent by the couple, the invitation could read: "The honour of your presence is requested at the reaffirmation [or renewal] of the wedding vows of [names of the couple]." If sent by the couple's children: "The children of [names of the couple] request the honour of your presence at the reaffirmation ceremony of their parents."

Officiants

Since a vow renewal ceremony doesn't have to be officiated by a clergyman or other registered person, your older children, other family members, or close friends can act as officiants.

Guest list

The guest list should include family and friends who have supported your marriage over the years. This could be an intimate affair or a large party including extended family. Work acquaintances are usually not invited to such a personal event.

Rewriting your vows

Renewing your wedding vows is a way to express your ongoing love and commitment to each other. It is also a chance to rewrite your vows to make them more meaningful and relevant to the years you have spent together. Here are some tips for rewriting your vows:

Start with a template

Use a basic template as a starting point for your vows. This will help you to cover all the important elements without feeling overwhelmed. A simple template might include an expression of your love, a reaffirmation of your support, personal stories, and concrete promises.

Discuss expectations

Before you begin writing, talk to your partner about what you both expect from the vows. How long should they be? Will you include any inside jokes or stick to more serious sentiments? Will you include any stories or stick to promises? Discussing these things in advance will ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.

Brainstorm and outline

Start by jotting down all your thoughts about your partner and your relationship. Don't worry about making it perfect at this stage, just let your feelings flow. Once you have a list of ideas, highlight the ones that are most important to you and use them to create an outline for your vows.

Write and edit

Use your outline to write a draft of your vows. Try not to get too caught up in making it perfect; it's more important to be authentic and heartfelt. Once you have a draft, go back and edit it to make sure it includes only the most important details. Remember, you don't need to include everything! Keep your vows focused and concise so your guests can fully absorb what you're saying.

Practice

Don't wait until the day of your vow renewal ceremony to say your vows aloud for the first time. Practice reading them out loud in the weeks leading up to the event. This will help you feel more confident and ensure that your vows are clear and easy to understand. You might also want to ask a trusted friend to listen and give you feedback.

Celebrating after an elopement

Renewing your wedding vows is a way to express your ongoing love and commitment to each other and to celebrate this with important people in your life. It is a chance to rewrite your wedding vows so that they are more meaningful and relevant to the years you have spent together.

Elopements have become increasingly popular, but some couples worry about not including family and friends on their special day. A post-elopement party is a great way to include loved ones in the celebrations. This type of celebration is typically the equivalent of a reception from a traditional wedding, but it can be whatever you want it to be.

• A casual backyard BBQ
• A boozy brunch
• A private room in your favourite restaurant
• A day trip to your favourite city
• A picnic with your loved ones
• A party on a catamaran or private boat
• A celebration at a national park's campsite or picnic area
• Wear your wedding attire again
• A brunch the morning after your elopement
• Games, such as a wedding shoe game
• Hire a food truck
• Show your elopement photos on a projector
• Rent a cool Airbnb
• A BBQ
• A beach party
• A personal bar with a couple of signature drinks
• A short version of your wedding vows
• A local band or your favourite playlist

There is no set timeline for a post-elopement party. You can have it a day after your wedding, or you can celebrate a year later on your anniversary. It is entirely up to you.

Frequently asked questions