How To Plan A Surprise Wedding

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when there are lots of people involved. From bridesmaids and groomsmen to guest lists and family involvement, it can sometimes feel like more hassle than it's worth. So, why not throw a surprise wedding instead? A surprise wedding is a wedding that is kept secret from everyone but the couple. Typically, the couple will plan a celebration of some sort, such as an engagement party, holiday party, or summer picnic, and use this as a cover for the wedding. This way, they can gather their closest friends and family in one place and reveal the big surprise—that they're actually there to witness the couple say their vows.

Choosing a cover event

There are endless choices for a cover event, and it's ultimately a personal decision for the couple. However, it's important to choose an event that will ensure your guests' attendance without raising suspicion. Here are some ideas to consider:

• Engagement party: This is a popular choice for a cover event, as it's a natural time for close friends and family to gather and celebrate the couple. It can also be a good excuse to request that guests wear a certain dress code, such as all white, to add to the surprise.
• Birthday party: A milestone birthday or a joint birthday party for the couple can be a convincing reason to gather guests for a celebration.
• Holiday party: A holiday-themed party, such as a Halloween engagement party, can be a fun and unconventional cover event, especially if the couple has a connection to the holiday.
• Summer picnic: A casual get-together like a backyard picnic can be a great way to bring people together without raising too much suspicion.
• Other ideas: A housewarming party, a family vacation, or a Jack and Jill bridal shower can also work as cover events.

When choosing your cover event, it's important to consider the style of your actual event. For example, if you're planning a formal cocktail party, a casual backyard barbecue might not be the best cover. Try to match the level of formality and the type of guests you would expect to attend each event.

Additionally, think about choosing a cover event that is unique and personal to your love story. This will make the surprise even more special and memorable for your guests.

Remember, the key to a successful surprise wedding is keeping it a secret, so choose a cover event that you can confidently sell to your guests without raising too much suspicion!

Venue selection

When it comes to selecting a venue for your surprise wedding, the key is to choose a location that doesn't give away the surprise. While you may be tempted to opt for a traditional wedding venue, these sites could hint at what's to come. Instead, consider smaller, quirkier, or non-traditional spots that will keep your guests guessing. Here are some ideas to help you select the perfect venue for your special day:

• Choose a non-traditional space: Opt for venues that are not typically associated with weddings, such as a bar, restaurant, park, or even your own backyard. These locations will allow you to host your celebration under the guise of another event, keeping your guests in suspense.
• Consider the guest experience: While you want to keep the surprise element intact, it's also important to ensure your guests are comfortable and accommodated for. Choose a venue that offers ample space for your guest count, with areas for dining, mingling, and any special activities you have planned.
• Think about logistics: Keep in mind that you'll need to secure a spot for your vendors to prep, such as food and beverage vendors. Select a venue that has the necessary facilities and amenities to support your celebration, including access to bathrooms, parking, and any audio-visual requirements.
• Match the venue to your cover story: If you're planning an engagement party as your cover event, consider venues that align with this theme. This could be a bar or restaurant, or even a park if you're planning a more casual gathering. Ensure the venue matches the style and tone of your cover event to avoid raising suspicions.
• Be creative and personal: Your venue choice can be a reflection of your interests as a couple. If you both share a love for a particular theme park, plan your surprise wedding there. Or, if you have a favourite restaurant or bar, see if they can accommodate your event. The more personal the venue is to your love story, the more meaningful it will be.
• Keep it intimate: Surprise weddings are typically best suited for smaller, more intimate gatherings. Choose a venue that can accommodate your closest friends and family, creating a cosy and exclusive atmosphere. This will also make it easier to manage the surprise element, as a smaller guest list means fewer people to keep the secret from.
• Hire a wedding planner: Planning a surprise wedding can be a complex task, so consider hiring a professional wedding planner or coordinator. They can help you navigate the unique challenges of surprise weddings, including venue selection, and ensure that all the logistics are meticulously managed.

Inviting guests

Planning a surprise wedding can be an exciting alternative to a traditional wedding. Here are some tips and ideas for inviting your guests and ensuring their attendance without giving away the surprise:

• Choose a cover event: Select an event such as an engagement party, milestone birthday, holiday party, or backyard picnic as a cover for your surprise wedding. This will help gather your closest friends and family in one place without arousing suspicion.
• Send out invitations: Word your invitations to convey the formality and dress code for the occasion. Send them out four to six weeks before the event to avoid raising suspicion. Go all out with the stationery to make the fake event seem legitimate.
• Emphasise the importance of attendance: Create a sense of urgency or intrigue to ensure your guests' presence. For example, mention a "special guest" or a "surprise announcement" that they won't want to miss.
• Keep the guest list small: A surprise wedding works best with an intimate group of close friends and family. It can be challenging to keep the secret from a large number of guests, and some people may not be able to attend a low-key event.
• Share the secret with a few trusted individuals: Consider sharing your plans with your parents or a few close friends to help with planning and to manage any potential reactions on the day.
• Hire a wedding planner: A professional planner can provide valuable support and ensure that logistics are perfectly executed, especially since you won't have the usual assistance from bridesmaids or family members.
• Be prepared for late arrivals: Even with a cover event, some guests may still arrive late. Manage your expectations and be prepared to start the ceremony with a few missing guests.
• Rehearse the surprise: Carefully plan and rehearse the big reveal to ensure a smooth and memorable moment for everyone involved.

By following these suggestions, you can effectively invite guests to your surprise wedding while maintaining the element of surprise.

Keeping the secret

Choose Wisely Who You Tell

While it may be tempting to share your exciting plans, the number one rule of a surprise wedding is to keep it a secret. Share the news only with those who need to know, such as vendors and their staff. Consider telling your parents if you want their support and input. If you feel you need help with planning and coordination, hire a wedding planner or involve a trusted friend.

Select a Believable Cover Event

Create a believable cover story for your wedding by choosing an event that will encourage attendance without raising suspicion. Common choices include an engagement party, a milestone birthday, a housewarming, or a backyard picnic. Ensure the style of your cover event matches that of your actual wedding. For instance, if you plan a formal cocktail party, avoid using a casual barbecue as your ruse.

Time It Right

The longer the engagement, the harder it may be to keep the secret. Consider shortening the engagement period to reduce the risk of someone spilling the beans. Aim for a celebration within three to six months of announcing your engagement. This way, an engagement party becomes a more plausible reason for everyone to gather and celebrate.

Craft Creative Invitations

Send out invitations that resemble formal wedding invites to emphasise the importance of the event without giving away the surprise. Include a clear dress code and start time, and use words like "prompt" or "sharp" to encourage punctuality. For out-of-town guests, consider including a handwritten note expressing how much their presence would mean to you.

Prepare for Late Arrivals

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still arrive late, especially if they don't realise it's a wedding. Be prepared for this possibility and try to make it clear that something special will happen at a specific time to encourage timely arrivals.

Keep the Energy High

The surprise element will add excitement and magic to your special day. As Cara, who had a surprise wedding, says, "Catching people off guard is half the fun, so try not to worry too much about how picture-perfect everything will be."

Photography and videography

Capturing the moments of your surprise wedding through photography and videography is essential. These visual mementos will be the most precious keepsakes of your special day.

Photography

It is crucial to hire a professional photographer to capture the magic of your surprise wedding. A professional will be able to capture the candid moments, the atmosphere, and the raw emotions of the day.

When choosing a photographer, ensure they have experience shooting surprise weddings, as they will need to be discreet and blend in with the guests. Ask for samples of their work and check their references. It is also a good idea to meet with them in person to ensure you feel comfortable with them.

Discuss with your photographer the specific moments you want to be captured. For example, you may want photos of the guests' reactions when they realize they are attending a wedding, the couple's entrance, the ceremony, family portraits, and the reception.

Videography

In addition to photography, consider hiring a videographer to capture the movement and sounds of your surprise wedding. Videography can bring your wedding album to life, allowing you to relive the day through sight and sound.

When choosing a videographer, consider their style and ensure it aligns with your vision. There are various styles to choose from, including journalistic, cinematic, and concept wedding videos. The journalistic style is a documentary-style film that captures the event as it unfolds. Cinematic videography aims for a 'filmy' look, using slow motion, transition effects, saturated colors, creative camera angles, and dramatic music. A concept wedding video is more artistic and elaborate, usually involving pre-wedding shoots and interviews.

Discuss with your videographer the specific moments and details you want to be captured. Be sure to include the guests' reactions, the couple's entrance, the ceremony from multiple angles, and the reception.

Tips for Photography and Videography

• Book your photographer and videographer as soon as you set a date. Wedding photographers and videographers are often booked up to a year in advance, so plan ahead.
• Have portrait photos taken before the guests arrive, and family photos after the ceremony, in addition to candid shots.
• Consider using a drone for aerial shots and footage.
• If you are on a budget, you may be able to find a photographer or videographer who offers a basic package at a lower cost. Alternatively, you could consider borrowing equipment and editing the footage yourself.
• Be flexible with your date. Choosing an off-season date or avoiding Saturdays can increase your chances of securing your preferred vendors.
• Ensure your photographer and videographer are discreet and do not reveal the surprise to the guests.
• If possible, have a second photographer or videographer to capture additional angles and moments.
• Discuss with your vendors how they will dress for the event. They should blend in with the guests to maintain the surprise.

Your surprise wedding will be a unique and memorable occasion, and having a talented photographer and videographer will ensure you can relive those moments for years to come.

Frequently asked questions