Best Man's Wedding Role: What To Bring And Why

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. The role is usually given to a close friend or relative of the groom, and it comes with a variety of duties and responsibilities. From providing emotional support to the groom to planning the bachelor party and giving a speech, the best man has a lot on his plate. On the wedding day, the best man is in charge of keeping the groom and groomsmen on schedule, holding the wedding rings, signing the marriage license, and making sure the reception is a success. So, what does the best man bring to the wedding? Well, aside from his suit and a big smile, the best man should bring his organisational skills, a well-crafted speech, and a whole lot of enthusiasm to get the party started!

Organise the stag do

As the best man, organising an awesome stag do is one of your most important duties. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you plan an unforgettable celebration for the groom:

Initial Planning

Start by having a chat with the groom to gather all the necessary information. Find out his availability and choose a date that is a safe distance before the wedding (usually a few weeks or a month). Discuss his preferences for the style of the weekend, activities, and the guest list. It's important to keep the destination a secret if that's what he prefers. Also, get a full invite list with contact details for all the attendees.

Inviting the Guests

Send out emails to the guest list to confirm their availability and willingness to attend. It's essential to get firm commitments to make the organisation process easier. Consider proposing a few potential dates to find one that works for most people. Remember, keeping it simple is often the best approach.

Finalising Logistics

Take into account the group's budget and time constraints when deciding on the destination. Choose a location that is convenient for most attendees and book your accommodation early to get the best deals and availability. Hotels are often the easiest option, but you can also consider cottages, glamping, or camping.

Planning Activities

The expectation for most stag weekends is to include a fun-filled activity. Think of something original that most people haven't done before. You can book activities as part of a package through an external company to take some pressure off yourself.

Additional Considerations

• Budget Management: It's common for the best man to chase up funds from the group. Consider using a party hub or payment system to make collecting money easier.
• Timing: Try to organise the stag do at least a month before the wedding to give everyone time to recover and look their best on the big day.
• Groom's Preferences: Ensure that whatever you organise is to the groom's taste. It's his last night of freedom, so make it count!

During the Stag Do

Remember to look after the stag throughout the weekend. Your primary role is to ensure he has a good time and enjoys his send-off. Keep an eye on his drinking, especially the night before the wedding, to prevent any last-minute mishaps.

Give a best man speech

So, you've been asked to be the best man at a wedding – congratulations! Now it's time to start thinking about one of the most important parts of the role: the best man's speech. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you prepare.

Before the wedding

Start by jotting down some ideas for your speech. It's a good idea to begin this process as early as possible, so you have plenty of time to refine your thoughts and practice delivering your speech out loud. Think about the structure of your speech: will you start with a joke to break the ice? Will you thank the couple's parents for hosting the wedding, or thank the guests for coming? Will you share any funny or touching anecdotes about the groom? Will you finish with a toast to the happy couple?

On the wedding day

If you're feeling nervous, remember that everyone wants you to do well. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax. If you're giving your speech during the wedding reception, you might want to have a drink to steady your nerves, but don't overdo it – you don't want to slur your words or forget what you were planning to say!

During the speech

Speak slowly and clearly, and try to inject some humour into your speech (if that's appropriate for your audience). Make sure you mention everyone who needs to be mentioned, including the couple's parents and any other key relatives. If you're nervous, it can help to look at one person in the audience, ideally someone friendly and supportive, and direct your speech at them.

After the speech

Once you've finished, take your seat and relax – your official duties are over! Enjoy the rest of the wedding celebrations, safe in the knowledge that you've done a great job.

Good luck!

Keep the wedding rings safe

Keeping the wedding rings safe is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure the rings are secure:

Before the Wedding

Firstly, it is not necessary to hand over the rings to the best man weeks or months before the wedding. The longer they are out of your possession, the greater the chance they could get lost. It is recommended to give the rings to the best man the night before the wedding. Ensure they are in a box, preferably the original one or one that you want to be seen during the ceremony. It is also a good idea to triple-check that the box fits securely in the best man's pocket and that the pocket doesn't have any holes!

During the Ceremony

If there is a ring bearer, the best man will need to fasten the rings to the pillow they are carrying down the aisle. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to the best man for safekeeping until the officiant requests them.

Other Tips

• If the best man is not the most reliable person for the job, consider asking the officiant or a close relative to hold the rings instead.
• Keep the rings in their box when not in use to avoid losing them.
• Store the box in the same place each time to avoid misplacing it.
• Get wedding insurance to cover the rings in case they are lost or damaged.
• Avoid wearing the rings in water, as they can easily slip off.
• Don't wear the rings all the time, especially during physical activities or when working with your hands.
• Regularly clean and maintain the rings to keep them in good condition.

Remember, the best man has an important role in keeping the wedding rings safe, so it is essential to communicate clearly and ensure they are prepared and organised for the task.

Help the groom get ready

Helping the groom get ready is one of the best man's most important duties. Here are some tips to ensure you excel at this task:

Pre-Wedding

As the best man, your role begins months before the wedding day. In the lead-up to the event, it's your job to provide practical and emotional support to the groom. This includes offering advice and assistance with wedding planning, as well as coordinating key pre-wedding events such as the bachelor party.

Suit Shopping

Accompany the groom to suit fittings and offer your honest opinions and assistance in choosing his wedding suit and the groomsmen's attire. Ensure all groomsmen are fitted well in advance of the wedding and help coordinate uniformity in attire and accessories.

Rehearsal

Attend and actively participate in the wedding rehearsal to ensure you understand the flow of the ceremony. Assist in organizing the groomsmen, ensuring everyone knows their roles.

Emotional Support

Be the groom's sounding board and offer support during moments of stress or indecision. Help him manage any pre-wedding nerves and offer practical solutions to challenges that arise.

Wedding Day

On the big day, your role shifts to ensuring everything runs smoothly for the groom. Here are some specific tasks you'll be responsible for:

Assisting the Groom

Keeping the Rings Safe

One of the most important duties of the best man is often being entrusted with the wedding rings. Even if you're not the official ring bearer, you may still be tasked with safeguarding the rings until they are exchanged during the ceremony.

Managing the Groomsmen

Take the lead and coordinate with the groomsmen to ensure everyone is ready on time and knows their roles for the day, such as walking down the aisle and participating in the ceremony.

Keeping the Groom Calm

Offer emotional support to the groom throughout the day, helping him stay calm and relaxed as he prepares to say "I do."

Acting as the Groom's Point of Contact

Serve as the main point of contact for suppliers, family members, groomsmen, and other wedding party members. This allows the groom to focus on enjoying his special day.

Post-Wedding

Even after the celebration ends, your duties as the best man aren't quite over. Here are some tasks you can take on to ensure a smooth wrap-up:

Assist with Post-Reception Details

Help the couple collect personal items, gifts, and decor after the reception. Ensure transportation is arranged for the couple or guests as needed.

Manage Gifts and Cards

Safeguard and help transport wedding gifts and cards to the appropriate location, such as the couple's home or honeymoon suite.

Support the Couple's Send-Off

Help coordinate the send-off for the couple, ensuring all guests are involved and that transportation is ready.

By staying organized, proactive, and communicative, you'll excel at helping the groom get ready and supporting him throughout the entire wedding process.

Assist with picking the suits

As the best man, you'll be the groom's right-hand man and it's your job to support the groom with all wedding day attire needs. This includes helping the groom, groomsmen, and important family members with their final suit selections. Here are some tips on how to assist with picking the suits:

• Offer your services to the groom when it comes to choosing the suits. This could involve rounding up the other groomsmen and organising a time to go to the suit shop to get measured.
• Be honest when the groom asks for your opinion. You both need to look your best on the day so speak your mind about which suits you like.
• If you're spread across the country, ask for the groomsmen's measurements instead and send these to the groom.
• If the suits are rented, make sure they are returned on time (and intact) after the wedding.
• If the suits are bought, consider what will happen to them after the wedding. The groom might appreciate help with selling them on or storing them safely.
• Consider putting together an emergency kit for the groomsmen, with items such as extra cufflinks, shoe polish, or an extra tie.
• If the wedding has a colour scheme, suits should fit within this. If there is no colour scheme, a plain mid-grey will go with anything, while navy is versatile and flatters all complexions.
• Consider the time of year. Lighter fabrics such as cotton and linen are more suitable for summer weddings, while wool suits are ideal for winter.

Frequently asked questions