Etiquette Guide: Special Guest Wedding Invitation Wording

Wedding invitation wording is an important aspect of wedding planning, as it sets the tone for the event and ensures guests have all the necessary information. One aspect of this is how to address guests, especially those who are considered special. While there are no hard and fast rules, some guidelines can be followed to ensure proper etiquette is observed. For example, it is considered polite to use the correct names of invited guests whenever possible, even if it means taking the time to ask about their preferred titles and surnames. This attention to detail makes guests feel valued and respected.

Using titles and surnames

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use the correct names and titles of your guests. This will make them feel like the special, honoured guests that they are. Here are some tips for using titles and surnames when addressing wedding invitations:

Hosts and Married Couples

The names of the hosts should be listed at the top of the invitation. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named first, even for very formal affairs. If the wedding is hosted and paid for by the couple and both sets of parents, you can use "Together with their parents, [names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company..." If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, include them all, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you are including the name of a stepparent, keep their name on the same line as their partner.

Unmarried Couples

The names of unmarried hosts or guests should be stacked, with each name on its own line. If they have different last names, list the person you are closest with first. If you are equally close with them, go in alphabetical order.

Single Guests

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, always use the person's preferred title. If you are unsure, it is best to forgo a title altogether. For invitations with a plus-one, it is best to mention both people by name if you have that information. If you are unsure of the name of the plus-one or are allowing someone to bring a casual date, "and Guest" on the inner envelope will suffice.

Children and Families

For invitations addressed to a family with young children under 18, the outer envelope is reserved for the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). You should list each child by name on the inner envelope. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss" if you wish. Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.". If children are not included by name, it implies that they are not invited. If you are inviting a family with children over 18, they should each receive their own invitation.

Distinguished Titles

If a guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military personnel, it is proper etiquette to address them by that title on the wedding invitation envelope. If the invitation is sent to a couple and both guests have special titles of equal rank, you can list their names in alphabetical order.

Non-Binary Guests

If you plan on incorporating personal titles into your wedding invitations, always double-check each attendee's preferred title beforehand. For non-binary guests, they may identify with a gender-neutral title such as "Mx.".

Including full names

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to use the correct names for your guests. This means including their full names, titles, and, if possible, their preferred titles. Here are some tips to ensure you get the full names and titles right:

Outer Envelope

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two envelopes and should include the recipient's full name and title. This is foolproof, as it works for guests of all genders, whether or not they share a surname, and it still feels traditional.

If you're inviting a married couple, put their names on the same line. If they have different last names, list the person you're closest with first, or go in alphabetical order. For unmarried couples, each name gets its own line.

Inner Envelope

The inner envelope is more informal, and you can choose to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. You can include personal titles and last names, or go with first names only for a more casual vibe.

Single Guests

For a single guest, use their preferred title and full name on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can drop the title and use just their full name. If you're unsure of their preferred title, it's best to forgo it altogether.

Guests With a Plus-One

When inviting a guest with a plus-one, it's best to mention both people by name if you have that information. If you don't know the name of the plus-one, you can simply write "and Guest" on the inner envelope.

Families

For families with young children under 18, the outer envelope should include the names of the parents or guardians. Each child's name should be listed on the inner envelope. If you don't include the children's names, it implies that they are not invited.

If you're inviting a family with children over 18, each person should receive their own invitation, unless they live at home with their parents. You don't need to use titles, but you can if you wish.

Special Titles

If a guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military personnel, use this title on the wedding invitation envelope.

Other Considerations

• If you're unsure of a guest's full name or title, ask them or their close relatives.
• Avoid including registry information on the invitation card, as it can be considered tacky and presumptuous.
• Don't include "no gifts" on the invitation, as it's the guests' choice whether to bring a gift.
• Provide a separate reception card if the wedding ceremony and reception are at different locations.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your wedding's unique character and style.

Addressing unmarried couples

When it comes to addressing unmarried couples in wedding invitations, there are a few considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both guests' full names – first and last – on the invitation, even if you are closer to one partner than the other. If the couple lives together, their names should be included on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If they live separately, it is ideal to send a separate invitation to each person. However, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest, mentioning the other partner's name on the inner envelope.

Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

If the unmarried couple does not live together, you can follow this format:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Aaron Triguiero"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Triguiero and Guest" or "Aaron and Guest"

It is worth noting that the inner envelope is more informal, allowing for more flexibility in how you address the couple. You can choose to use only first names or include personal titles and last names, depending on your preference.

Additionally, it is important to be mindful of each guest's preferred personal title. For example, a non-binary guest may prefer the gender-neutral title "Mx." Instead of assuming, it is best to double-check with each attendee beforehand if you plan to include personal titles in the invitations.

Inviting guests with children

When it comes to inviting guests with children to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, decide whether your wedding will be "family-friendly" or "adults-only". This is a decision that tends to divide people, with some people believing that all guests should be able to bring children, and others preferring not to have children at their wedding. If you decide to have an adults-only wedding, it's important to communicate this clearly to your guests. The best way to do this is by addressing your wedding invitations properly and including an adults-only announcement on your wedding website.

If you do choose to invite children to your wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, consider the age of the children and whether they will need any special arrangements, such as a separate menu or seating area. You may also want to provide some entertainment or activities for the children, such as a children's entertainer or tabletop activities during the reception.

When addressing your wedding invitations, it's important to be clear about who is invited. If you are inviting a family with young children, the outer envelope should include the names of the parents or guardians, and each child's name should be listed on the inner envelope. This is important because if you don't include each child's name, it could be implied that children are not invited. However, even with clear addressing, some guests may still assume that their children are welcome, so it's a good idea to ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word about any adults-only restrictions.

Another option is to allow children to attend the wedding ceremony but not the reception. This is often a good compromise, especially if you are concerned about the added costs or logistics of accommodating children at the reception. However, it's important to consider the feelings of the parents and children involved and to communicate your decision clearly.

In conclusion, when inviting guests with children to your wedding, it's important to decide on your policy early on and communicate it clearly to your guests. Consider the age and needs of the children involved, and provide any necessary entertainment or accommodations to ensure that your wedding is enjoyable for all attendees.

Adding reception information

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to ensure that your guests have all the information they need. If the ceremony and reception are held in the same location, a simple "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow" at the bottom of the invitation is sufficient. However, if the ceremony and reception are at separate venues, you'll need to include a reception invitation or card with additional details. Here are some tips for adding reception information to your wedding invitations:

• Send a Reception Invitation or Card: If the ceremony and reception are at different locations, include a separate reception invitation or card in your invitation suite. This card should provide details about the reception venue, including the name, address, and start and end times. You may also include directions from the ceremony venue to the reception venue or note if there is pre-arranged transportation between the two locations.
• Include All the Necessary Details: Ensure that your reception invitation or card has all the relevant information. In addition to the location and address, mention the attire or dress code, and provide details about any after-party that guests may need to know about.
• Focus on Celebrating: When wording your reception invitation, emphasize that guests are invited to celebrate your marriage. Phrases like "request the pleasure of your company at a reception celebrating their marriage" or "join us for a reception celebrating their union" are clear and welcoming.
• Be Clear About the Ceremony: If you're having an intimate ceremony with a larger reception, be transparent about it. You can include a separate ceremony details card for those invited to the ceremony, or simply indicate on the reception invitation that the ceremony will be a private or intimate event.
• Provide RSVP Information: Don't forget to include RSVP cards or instructions, especially if you're having a reception-only event. This will help you plan accordingly and know how many guests to expect.
• Timing and Logistics: If your ceremony and reception are on the same day, consider having the ceremony earlier to allow for ample time between the two events. This gives you the opportunity to take photos, celebrate with your intimate ceremony guests, and make a grand entrance at the reception.
• Two-Part Events: If you're having a small ceremony and a larger reception, you may choose to print two different invitations or include a ceremony details card with the main invitation. This ensures that guests invited to the ceremony have the necessary information while keeping costs lower.

Frequently asked questions