How To Send Your Aos Without A Wedding Card

Wedding invitation etiquette is an important aspect of wedding planning. While modern invitations can be more casual, there are still basic rules to follow. The invitation should include the full names of the couple and hosts, the time, date, month, year, and address of the wedding, and an RSVP request. Invitations should be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, or three months in advance for destination weddings. It is also important to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for RSVPs and to avoid including registry information directly on the invitation. Digital invitations are an environmentally-friendly and cost-effective alternative, offering seamless designs and easier RSVPs.

Invitation wording and phrasing

The wording of your wedding invitation is important as it sets the tone for the entire event. It can be formal or casual, depending on the style of your wedding. Here are some tips and examples to help you with the phrasing:

What to Include

• Who, When, and Where: Include the full names of you and your fiancé(e), the hosts' full names (if using formal phrasing), the date, time, and the full address of the venue.
• RSVP Information: If you are requesting an RSVP, include this in the lower left corner of the invitation. You can also include an RSVP card with a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a "please respond by" date, usually about four weeks before the event.
• Other Details: While not necessary on the invitation itself, you may want to include other details such as attire suggestions, a map, accommodation information, and wedding-related activities. This information can be included in your invitation suite or on your wedding website.

Formal vs. Casual Phrasing

The phrasing of your invitation can be formal or casual, depending on the style of your wedding.

• Formal Phrasing: Formal phrasing is appropriate for a traditional wedding ceremony followed by a formal reception. It usually includes more formal language and may spell out dates and times in full.
• Casual Phrasing: If you're having a more casual wedding, the phrasing can be more informal and conversational. Numerals can be used for dates and times, and a less formal request to attend can be used.

Examples

Hosted by One Set of Parents:

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jane Smith to John Doe on Saturday, the first of July, two thousand twenty-three, at four o'clock in the afternoon at The Garden Hotel, 123 Main Street, Springville. Reception to follow."

Hosted by Both Sets of Parents:

"Mr. and Mrs. Kenzie Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Franklin request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children Olivia Smith and John Franklin on Saturday, the eighteenth of June, two thousand twenty-three, at half past five o'clock at The Country Club, 456 Oak Lane, Greenvale. Dinner and dancing to follow."

Hosted by the Couple:

"The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Emma Johnson and Jax Taylor on Saturday, the tenth of September, two thousand twenty-three, at half past six o'clock at The Art Gallery, 789 Park Avenue, Hillston. Reception to follow."

Hosted by the Couple and Both Sets of Parents:

"Together with their parents, Emma Johnson and Jax Taylor request the pleasure of your company at their wedding on Saturday, the twenty-second of October, two thousand twenty-three, at four o'clock in the afternoon at The Vineyard, 987 Vine Street, Wineland. Merriment and dining to follow."

Timing of sending out invitations

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is crucial, and there are several factors to consider. Firstly, it is generally recommended that invitations be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This timeframe allows your guests to clear their schedules and gives them ample time to make travel arrangements if needed. It also enables you to request RSVPs earlier, making it easier to finalise the headcount and seating charts before the wedding crunch.

However, there are exceptions to this rule. If your wedding falls around a major holiday, such as Christmas, it is advisable to send invitations earlier – even up to three months in advance. This is because people tend to have busier schedules and need more time to plan. Similarly, for destination weddings or weddings with a large proportion of international guests, it is considerate to send invitations three months or even up to a year in advance. This extended timeline accounts for shipping and delivery times and allows overseas guests to make the necessary travel plans.

On the other hand, it is essential not to send invitations too early, as they may be misplaced or forgotten. If you are sending save-the-date cards, these can be sent four to six months before the wedding or even earlier for destination weddings. This gives guests a timely heads-up and helps with their planning, especially if they need to request time off work or make travel arrangements.

Ultimately, the timing of sending out invitations is a delicate balance. Sending them too late may result in guests already having commitments, while sending them too early could lead to disorganisation. The sweet spot is usually around two months in advance, with some flexibility depending on the specific circumstances of your wedding.

What to include in the invitation suite

A wedding invitation suite traditionally includes the main invitation, a response card, and any other enclosure cards containing helpful information for your guests. Here is what you should include in your invitation suite:

The Main Invitation

The invitation itself is the most important part of the suite and should include key details such as the full names of the couple and the hosts (if using formal phrasing), the time, date, month, and year of the wedding, and the full address of the venue. It is also common to include an "invitational line" that lists the names of the hosts, followed by a request line such as "Request the Pleasure of Your Company" or "Invite You to Celebrate the Marriage of". The invitation should also include the names of the people getting married, with the woman's name typically coming first for heterosexual couples, while LGBTQIA+ couples may choose to order their names alphabetically, by age, or however they prefer.

Response Card and Envelope

Response cards are a must, even if you are offering an online RSVP option, as they are more convenient for older guests or those who prefer not to respond via the internet. Response cards should include checkboxes for meal choices, if applicable, and a specific deadline for responses, typically around three to four weeks before the wedding. Don't forget to include a pre-addressed and stamped envelope for your guests' convenience!

Other Enclosure Cards

Other enclosure cards may include:

• A reception card, if the reception is at a different location or has a different start time
• A map or direction card, especially if the venue is in a rural area or guests may have trouble finding it
• An accommodations card with hotel recommendations and room block information, especially for destination weddings or if many guests are travelling
• A weekend events card with a full itinerary, including any pre- or post-wedding events such as welcome drinks or a day-after brunch
• An attire card, indicating the expected dress code for the wedding
• A wedding website card with a link to your wedding website, where guests can find additional information such as registry details, travel information, and more

Remember, the invitation suite should be kept simple, with only the most essential information included. Any extra details can be provided on enclosure cards or on your wedding website.

Invitation envelope formatting

The outer envelope is the one that is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside. The inner envelope is optional, but it can be useful for clarifying who else is invited, such as plus-ones or children.

Outer Envelope:

• Write the recipient's full name(s), including their personal title(s). For married couples with the same last name, you can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their last name. For same-sex couples, indicate the appropriate prefix accordingly.
• For married couples with different last names, write their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." You can mention either person's name first.
• For unmarried couples living together, list both names on one or two lines, including their titles. Start with the person you are closer to or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close.
• For single persons, use the appropriate prefix ("Mr.", "Ms.", or "Mx.") followed by their full name.
• If a single guest has a plus-one, include their name if you know it. Otherwise, write "& Guest" or "and guest".
• For families, address the outer envelope to the parent(s) or guardian(s). You can include "and children" or list each child's name if they are invited.
• Avoid abbreviations for a more formal invitation. Use full addresses, including street names and state/province names.

Inner Envelope:

• Inner envelopes are more informal, so you can leave out certain elements of the formal name format. Use your judgement—you can include personal titles and last names, or go with first names only.
• For a single person with a plus-one, mention both names on the inner envelope if you have that information.
• For families, list each child's name on the inner envelope if they are invited. Boys over 16 can be addressed as "Mr.", and girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss" if desired.

Digital vs physical invitations

When it comes to wedding invitations, couples have a choice between traditional physical invitations and modern digital invites. Both options have their advantages and disadvantages, and the right choice for you will depend on your priorities, budget, and personal style. Here is a detailed breakdown of the pros and cons of each option:

Digital Wedding Invitations

Pros:

• Cost-effective: Digital invites eliminate printing and postage costs, making them a more budget-friendly option.
• Quick and convenient: They can be sent and responded to with just a few clicks, making them ideal for short-notice weddings.
• Eco-friendly: Digital invites reduce unnecessary paper waste, making them a more environmentally friendly choice.
• Easy to track: RSVPs and guest interactions can be easily managed through websites or email, simplifying the planning process.

Cons:

• Less personal: Emails can feel less personal and lack the tactile experience offered by physical invitations.
• Tech limitations: Not all guests may be comfortable with or have access to digital invitations, potentially making the RSVP process more complicated.
• Spam filters: Digital invites may end up in spam folders, making them easy to miss.
• Lack of gravitas and sentimentality: Some guests may prefer the formality and sentimentality of a physical invitation that they can keep as a memento.

Physical Wedding Invitations

Pros:

• Tangible keepsake: Physical invitations become cherished mementos for you and your guests, a tangible reminder of your special day.
• Personal touch: The texture of the paper, the craftsmanship of the design, and the act of opening an envelope contribute to a more personal and engaging experience for your guests.
• Greater impact: Receiving a beautifully crafted invitation in the mail creates a sense of anticipation and excitement for your wedding, setting the tone for a grand celebration.
• Customisation options: Physical invitations offer endless customisation possibilities, allowing your creativity and personal style to shine.

Cons:

• Cost: High-quality paper, printing, and postage can be expensive, making physical invitations more costly than digital ones.
• Time-consuming: Designing, printing, and mailing physical invitations require more time and planning, which may be a challenge for couples on a tight timeline.
• Environmental impact: Physical invitations have a larger environmental footprint, although this can be mitigated by using eco-friendly paper options.

Digital wedding invitations offer convenience and cost savings, while physical invitations provide a more traditional, tactile, and personalised experience. Ultimately, the choice between digital and physical invitations depends on your priorities and the tone you want to set for your wedding. If you value sustainability and convenience, digital invites may be the best option. However, if you want to create a lasting impression and honour the tradition and ceremony of marriage, physical invitations may be worth the investment.

Frequently asked questions