Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding invitations are a chance to make your guests feel welcome and respected. The traditional way to address a wedding invitation is to use a person's full name, including their personal title. However, this can be restrictive and exclusive, so it's becoming more common to simply use first and last names. It's also important to distinguish between the outer envelope, which should be formal, and the inner envelope, which is more informal. For example, an unmarried couple living together would be addressed as Ms. Nancy Fellows and Mr. Scott Dunn on the outer envelope and Ms. Fellows and Mr. Dunn or Nancy and Scott on the inner envelope.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Formality | Formal invitations traditionally include an outer envelope with a more personalised inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed more formally, while the inner envelope is slightly more casual and may include first names. |
| Titles | Titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", "Miss", "Mx.", "Dr.", "Esq.", "The Honorable", "Rabbi", "Reverend", and military ranks should be used where appropriate. |
| Name Order | For married couples with the same last name, the outer envelope may use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For couples with different last names, the wife's name typically comes first. For unmarried couples, names can be listed alphabetically or with the person you are closest to first. |
| Name Format | Full names should be written out, with no abbreviations or nicknames. Middle names can be included if known, otherwise, they should be omitted. |
| Address Format | All words in the address should be spelled out, including street names, city and state names, and house numbers below 20. |
| Children | Children's names are usually listed on the inner envelope, by seniority. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". Boys don't need a title until they are 16 and can then be addressed as "Mr.". |
What You'll Learn
Addressing a married couple
When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few conventions to follow, depending on the couple's preferences and level of formality you wish to convey. Here are some guidelines to help you address the invitations appropriately:
Formal Addressing:
Traditionally, when addressing a married couple with the same last name, the husband's first and last name are used, followed by "Mr. and Mrs." This approach is considered the most familiar and common way to address envelopes for married couples. For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren
However, this convention has been criticised for not mentioning the wife's name. A more modern variation includes the wife's name, listing the husband's name first:
> Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren
If the married couple has different last names, a formal invitation would list their names on the same line, with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long, they can be listed separately:
> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez
When addressing a same-sex married couple, either name can go first. If they have the same last name, the format can be:
> Mr. and Mr. Thomas Warren
> Mrs. and Mrs. Michelle Warren
If they have different last names:
> Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell
Informal Addressing:
For a less traditional approach, you can forgo titles and use first and last names. This is a more casual and modern way to address wedding invitations. For example:
> Thomas and Michelle
If the couple has different last names:
> Maria and David
Other Considerations:
When addressing a married couple, it is essential to be mindful of their preferences and avoid assumptions about their names or gender. Always double-check the preferred titles and spelling of their names.
Additionally, if one or both members of the couple have distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, lawyers, or judges, these titles can be incorporated into the addressing. The person with the higher-ranking title should be named first, regardless of gender.
In conclusion, addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation involves following certain conventions while also allowing for flexibility and personalisation. The level of formality, inclusion of titles, and ordering of names can be adjusted to fit the couple's preferences and your desired tone for the invitation.
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Addressing an unmarried couple
When addressing an unmarried couple living together, both names should be included on the envelopes. However, the format is a little different from addressing a married couple.
For the outer envelope, each name gets its own line. List the person you are closest to first, or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both guests. Here is an example:
> Mr. Aaron Triguiero
> Mr. Gabriel Reyes
For the inner envelope, you can be less formal. You can use courtesy titles and last names, or only first names if you are close with the couple. Here is an example:
> Mr. Triguiero
> Mr. Reyes
> or
> Aaron
> Gabriel
If the unmarried couple does not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest.
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Addressing a family with children
When sending out wedding invitations, it's important to get the recipients' names and titles right. Here are some tips on addressing a family with children:
The Outer Envelope
The outer envelope is generally more formal. If you're inviting a family with children, the outer envelope is reserved for the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). If you want to be specific about which family members are invited, write the names of each family member in list form, starting with the parent(s) or guardian(s). Female children under the age of 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys under 16 do not need a title. If you don't want to list each family member's name, you can simply address the envelope to the entire family. Here are some examples:
- "The Simpson Family"
- "Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson"
- "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"
The Inner Envelope
The inner envelope is more informal, and this is where you can list the names of the children who are invited. If you don't include each child's name, it may be implied that they are not invited. Here are some examples:
- "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"
- "Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie"
- "Homer, Marge, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie"
Additional Tips
- If you're inviting children who are 18 or older, they should receive their own invitations, unless they live at home with their parents.
- If you're not inviting children, don't list their names and consider adding a message to your wedding website stating that the wedding will be adults-only.
- If you're using titles, be sure to use the correct ones, such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", "Ms.", or "Mx.".
- Be consistent with the format you choose, and consider using full names to avoid any confusion.
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Addressing a single woman
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single woman, the first step is to use her preferred title. If you're unsure, it's best to leave out the title altogether. If the unmarried woman is over 18, use "Ms." If she is younger than 18, "Miss" is the acceptable choice, and it should be spelled out, not abbreviated.
Outer envelope: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Miss Tanner" or just their first names, "Elizabeth" or "Donna-Jo"
If the single woman has been given a plus one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope only.
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
If the guest is a widow, it's best to ask someone close to her whether she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may also prefer to use "Ms." so be sure to inquire.
Outer envelope: "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux"
Inner envelope: "Mrs. Devereaux" or "Blanche"
Similar options exist if the guest is a divorced woman. You can address her envelope using "Ms." or "Mrs." and either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.
Outer envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs/Ms. Cookie Holloway"
Inner envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Holloway"
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Addressing a single man
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single man, it is best to use "Mr." if he is over 18 years old. If he is younger than 18, no title is necessary.
On the outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
On the inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"
If the single man has been offered a plus-one, do not indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, reserve "and guest" language for the inner envelope only.
On the outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
On the inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"
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Frequently asked questions
For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Last Name]". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
The outer envelope can be addressed with both names on the same line, with the woman's name first, or with each name on a separate line, in alphabetical order.
The outer envelope can be addressed with both names on the same line, with the person you are closest with listed first, or on separate lines, in alphabetical order by last name.
A single person can be addressed as "Mr." or "Ms." followed by their full name. If they are under 18, no title is necessary.
The outer envelope can be addressed to the whole family, e.g. "The Smith Family", or just the parents, e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". The inner envelope would then list the names of all invited family members, including children.
