Rsvp Wedding Envelope Etiquette: What To Include

Wedding RSVP cards are a crucial part of the wedding stationery suite, providing an easy way for you and your guests to manage your invitations. They are usually included in the same envelope as the wedding invitation, placed on top. RSVP cards are accompanied by pre-stamped and addressed return envelopes, making it convenient for guests to respond. The response card envelope should have the name(s) and address of the recipient(s) who will be handling the RSVPs, such as the couple, their parents, wedding planner, or someone from the wedding party. It is also customary to include postage on the response envelope. The RSVP deadline should be featured prominently on the card, and it is generally recommended to be set at least two to four weeks before the wedding date.

Guests' names and titles

The first thing to include on your RSVP cards is a blank line for guests to write their names. On a formal RSVP card, you should write "M" at the start of the line to indicate that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. This is especially important for the correct spelling of names on the seating chart.

For married couples with the same last name, the traditional way to address the envelope is to write out the man's full name, with the titles "Mr." and "Mrs." included. Alternatively, you can opt to include both first names individually for a less traditional approach. For example:

• Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke
• Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke

For married couples with different last names, simply write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the stationery. Either the man or woman can be mentioned first. For example:

• Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews
• Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes

For single persons, whether male, female, or non-binary, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." and their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." and their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and their full name. For example:

• Mr. Tyler Morris
• Ms. Alysson Schulz
• Mx. Daniel Ramsay

If a single guest has a plus one, it's best to know the name of the person they will bring. If not, simply include "and Guest" or "& Guest" following the full name of the invitee. For example:

Mr. Tyler Morris & Guest

For unmarried couples who live together, the full names of each guest should be listed on one or two lines, with the appropriate titles placed. It's best to open the starting line with the person to whom you are closer. For example:

• Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales
• Ms. Lily Pike and Ms. Jane Pearce

Conversely, couples who don't live together and aren't married should receive separate invitations.

Attendance line

The attendance line is a crucial part of the RSVP card, as it allows invitees to confirm their attendance at the wedding. This is usually formatted as checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines. The attendance line can be formal, such as "Accepts with pleasure" or "Declines with regret", or more informal, like "Let the good times roll!" or "Sitting this one out".

It is important to set an RSVP deadline of around four weeks before the wedding date to give the couple and vendors enough time to finalise details such as food quantities and seating charts. This deadline should be prominently featured on the card, with wording such as "Kindly reply by [insert date]" or "Please respond by [insert date]".

• "___ accept(s) ___ regret(s)"
• "___ will celebrate in person / ___ will celebrate in spirit"
• "___ Looking forward to it! / ___ Sorry, can’t make it"
• "___ Let the good times roll! / ___ Sad to miss all the fun"
• "___ Free booze? Count me in! / ___ Sitting this one out"

RSVP deadline

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many things to consider to ensure that your guests have all the information they need and that you have all the information you need from them. One of the most important things to include is the RSVP deadline.

The deadline for guests to respond to your wedding invitation is important for several reasons. Firstly, it helps you finalise the details of your wedding, such as the number of rentals (tables and chairs), the amount of food and drinks, and the final names for your seating chart. Secondly, it gives your vendors enough time to prepare. Your wedding planner, caterer, and transportation company will all need a final guest count to plan meals, order tables and chairs, and ensure there is enough transportation for everyone.

The ideal deadline for RSVPs is around three to four weeks before your wedding day. This gives you enough time to organise your final guest list and figure out who hasn't responded. It also allows your guests enough time to make travel arrangements if necessary. If you are having a destination wedding, it is recommended to set the RSVP deadline two months before the wedding and send out invitations four months in advance. This gives guests ample time to make travel plans.

• Include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope within your invitation.
• Provide guests with options for responding, such as mailing in a response card or submitting their response digitally through your wedding website.
• Use clear and explicit wording on your invitation, such as "The favour of your reply is requested by [insert date]" instead of just "RSVP".
• Include an engaging call to action or participation factor on the response card, such as requesting a song that will keep them on the dance floor or their favourite memory of the bride and groom.
• Make the RSVP date clear by using a legible font on the card and including a countdown ticker on your wedding website.

Entree selection

When it comes to entree selection, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to mention the meal type on the RSVP card, whether it is a buffet or a plated dinner. If it is a plated dinner, it is a good idea to use checkboxes to indicate entree options and leave a fill-in-the-blank line for guests to detail any dietary restrictions.

"Please initial your entree selection:"

• Beef
• Chicken
• Vegetarian

"Please indicate your meal preference:"

• Beef
• Chicken
• Fish
• Vegetarian

"We are pleased to offer the following entree selections. Please choose one:"

• Beef tenderloin
• Herb-crusted salmon
• Vegetarian lasagna

"Kindly select your preferred entree option:"

• Chicken parmesan
• Grilled salmon
• Portobello mushroom stack (vegetarian)

It is also a good idea to include a line for any special requests, such as food allergies or dietary restrictions. This will ensure that your guests' needs are accommodated and that they have a positive dining experience at your wedding.

In addition, it is worth noting that some guests may not remember their entree selection by the time of the wedding, especially if the RSVP deadline is several weeks in advance. Therefore, it may be a good idea to have servers confirm each guest's entree selection during the dinner service, or provide a way for guests to indicate their selection on the day, such as coloured escort cards or place cards.

Return address

The return address is an important part of your wedding invitation suite. It ensures that if an invite is not delivered, it will find its way back to you, so you can update your guest on the issue and ask for another address.

The return address usually goes on the back flap of the outer envelope. The return address used should be that of the person or people designated to receive the response cards. This is usually the couple themselves or their parents, traditionally whoever is hosting the wedding and handling the responses.

When addressing the envelope, the recipient's name(s) and address should be placed on the front. The proper courtesy titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) should be used. For married couples with the same last name, the man's full name is usually written out, with the titles "Mr." and "Mrs." included. For married couples with different last names, their full names are written out with "Mr." or "Mrs." in front.

If you are addressing a single person, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr.", for female guests, use "Ms." and for non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx.". For a widowed woman, it is common to use her married name, but it is best to ask for her preference. A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she uses her maiden or married name.

It is also customary to include a stamp on each RSVP envelope so that your guests do not have to pay for postage.

Frequently asked questions