Bridesmaids' Essentials: What Every Bride Should Know

Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a big responsibility. From the pre-wedding planning to the day itself, there are many duties that a bridesmaid should be aware of.

Before the wedding, bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning, and be available to the bride. This includes shopping for bridesmaid attire, planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, and booking travel and hotel reservations. It's also important to be emotionally supportive of the bride and offer practical help wherever possible.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids play a crucial role in ensuring everything runs smoothly. This includes getting ready with the bride, assisting the maid of honour, providing snacks, participating in the ceremony, and being photo-ready. It's also important to mingle with guests, dance, and make sure the couple eats and has everything they need.

After the wedding, bridesmaids often help with gathering personal items, transporting gifts, and participating in post-wedding events. It's a busy and important role, but with good communication and organisation, a bridesmaid can play a key part in making the bride's day special.

Paying for bridesmaid attire, travel and accommodation

Paying for bridesmaid attire, travel, and accommodation can be a significant expense for those in the wedding party. Here are some tips to help manage these costs:

Bridesmaid Attire

The cost of bridesmaid dresses and accessories is typically covered by the bridesmaids themselves. It is important to be transparent about your financial situation and what you can afford, as this will alleviate financial stressors. If the bride requests that all bridesmaids wear the same dress, consider splitting the cost among the bridal party. Alternatively, if you are allowed to choose your own dress, look for affordable options or borrow from a friend.

Travel and Accommodation

For destination weddings, it is customary for the couple to provide a hotel room block for guests, but bridesmaids are generally expected to cover their travel costs. It is advisable to book travel and accommodation as early as possible to avoid last-minute surprises and ensure convenience regarding the wedding schedule and location.

Pre-Wedding Events

Bridesmaids are usually expected to attend and financially contribute to pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. While the maid of honor typically takes the lead in planning, bridesmaids should offer support and be prepared to split costs among the group. If you are unable to attend certain events, it is considerate to contribute financially or find another way to surprise the bride.

Gifts

Although it is not mandatory, it is customary for bridesmaids to give a wedding gift, especially if the bride has not required professional hair and makeup services or provided bridesmaid robes as gifts. You can give a small gift or go in with other bridesmaids on a larger, more affordable group gift.

Communication is Key

Remember, it is essential to have honest conversations about financial responsibilities from the start. Be communicative about your capabilities, and don't be afraid to set boundaries. Being a bridesmaid is about supporting the bride, and open communication will help ensure everyone is on the same page and allow you to fulfil your role without financial strain.

Planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party

The bridal shower is one expense that really varies among couples. These days, it's not uncommon for an aunt, family friend, or the mother of the bride to host it. If you're not sure whether bridesmaids pay for the bridal shower, touch base with the maid of honor or the bride's mother. While the host often foots the bill, extra costs for food, decor, and activities may be split among the bridesmaids.

Bachelorette parties can also vary in cost, depending on the location, necessity of air travel, accommodations, and activities planned. While this celebration can only be one night, many are destination events that can last multiple days. Bridesmaids typically plan and pay for the bachelorette party, and at a minimum, each bridesmaid will be responsible for covering their own costs. On top of that, some bridesmaids may cover the entire trip for the bride-to-be, including travel, lodging, decor, and activities, so she doesn't pay anything out of pocket.

Before the planning begins, it's important to sit down with the entire group to discuss what everyone can afford and devise a system that works for everyone involved. If you're not able to attend the bachelorette party, it's a nice gesture to contribute a small amount or find another way to surprise the bride-to-be.

Being emotionally supportive

Being a bridesmaid is about more than just wearing a dress and showing up. It's about providing emotional support to the bride and being her rock throughout the entire wedding planning process and ceremony. Here are some ways you can be emotionally supportive as a bridesmaid:

• Check in with the bride regularly and ask what she needs. Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to be there for the bride and provide a listening ear.
• Offer help and support wherever you can. This could be as simple as making time for coffee or writing funny wedding party bios for the couple's website.
• Be positive and proactive. The energy you bring to each planning milestone and the celebration itself is contagious. Stay upbeat and ensure the bride feels cherished and supported.
• Help with wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetizing escort cards, or easy DIY projects. This will take some of the burdens off the bride's shoulders.
• Accompany the bride to dress appointments and offer your support and opinion in choosing her attire for the wedding weekend.
• Keep the bride calm and collected on the wedding day. Make sure she eats, stays hydrated, and is smiling and laughing.
• Assist with the bride's hair and makeup appointments, and help her get ready, such as with her dress, shoes, jewellery, or veil.
• Be mindful of the bride's financial situation and communicate honestly about your own financial means. Some bridesmaids may be expected to contribute financially to pre-wedding events, so it's important to be upfront about any limitations.

Helping with wedding planning tasks

As a bridesmaid, you are expected to help with wedding planning tasks. Here are some ways you can help:

Planning and Organising

You can help the maid of honour plan and organise the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. You can also volunteer to coordinate flights and hotels for other members of the bridal party, especially if you're planning a destination bachelorette party.

Emotional Support

Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to be there for the bride emotionally. Check in with her throughout the process, ask what she needs, and do your best to support her feelings.

Financial Support

While you are not expected to shoulder the costs of pre-wedding activities alone, you can chip in for the parties if you can. It is also customary to buy a wedding gift for the couple from their registry and have it shipped to them before the wedding.

Practical Support

You can help with practical tasks such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetising escort cards, easy DIY projects, or accompanying the bride to pick out rentals or attend her hair and makeup trial.

Decision-Making

You can help the bride make decisions by providing sensitive and supportive feedback on choices such as her attire, bridesmaid attire, flowers, and other wedding details.

Venue Setup and Decoration

You can help with venue setup and decoration by making yourself available for any wedding DIY sessions and offering to be a point of contact for issues that arise on the day.

Vendor Management

You can assist with vendor management by keeping a list of the couple's suppliers and their contact information. You can also help the maid of honour pay and tip vendors at the end of the wedding.

Timeline Management

Familiarise yourself with the wedding timeline and be ready to answer basic questions from wedding vendors, such as where to find the venue coordinator or the couple's schedule for the day.

Guest Management

On the wedding day, you can help direct guests to the parking areas, bathrooms, handicap access, exits, and the bar or refreshment station. You can also facilitate guest participation in activities such as signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth.

Post-Wedding Tasks

After the wedding, you can help gather personal items, transport gifts, and participate in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. You can also create a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party and return any rentals to the vendor.

Buying a wedding gift

As a bridesmaid, you'll likely be spending a lot of money on wedding-related expenses, such as your dress, hair, makeup, travel, and accommodation. On top of that, there is an expectation for bridesmaids to give a wedding gift to the couple.

The amount you spend on a wedding gift is entirely dependent on your budget and how much you've already spent on other wedding-related expenses. If you're bringing a plus-one to the wedding, you may want to split the cost of the gift with them. It's also worth noting that you may be expected to give gifts at pre-wedding events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette party.

Wedding Gift Ideas

If you're looking for gift ideas, here are some suggestions:

• A personalised gift, such as a scrapbook or photo album, is a beautiful idea for a personalised gift. It can be a wonderful memento showcasing photos and memories from the wedding planning or the couple's relationship.
• A commissioned illustration of the couple or the bride is another beautiful personalised gift idea.
• A pampering session, such as a massage, facial, or body scrub, is a great way to help the bride de-stress and relax after wedding planning.
• A honeymoon hamper or 'survival kit' is a cute idea, including items such as personalised travel wallets, luggage tags, a disposable camera, and a travel journal.
• A group gift with the other bridesmaids is also an option if you don't want to spend too much.

While it is generally expected for bridesmaids to give a wedding gift, some brides do not expect gifts from their bridesmaids, especially if they have already spent a lot of money on other expenses. It's important to have honest conversations about your responsibilities and expectations from the beginning. If you are unable to afford certain expenses, it's best to politely decline or communicate your budget.

Frequently asked questions