Bridesmaids, Choose Your Own Dresses: A Guide To Success

Letting your bridesmaids pick their own dresses can be a great way to ensure they feel comfortable and confident on your big day. It also takes the pressure off you to pick the perfect dress and means you don't have to worry about the financial burden on your bridal party. However, it can be a little daunting for your bridesmaids, who may be overwhelmed by choice or unsure of your expectations. To make sure the process is as stress-free as possible, it's a good idea to provide some guidelines, such as colour, fabric, and length. You could also make it a group activity or start a shared document with inspiration to help get them started.

Give clear guidelines

Giving your bridesmaids the freedom to choose their own dresses can be a great way to ensure they feel comfortable and confident on your big day. However, to avoid overwhelming them with choices, it's important to provide clear guidelines. Here are some tips to help you communicate your vision effectively:

• Be specific: Communicate your preferences clearly. If you have a particular colour, length, fabric, or style in mind, let your bridesmaids know. For example, if you want them to wear floor-length gowns in a specific shade of purple, be precise about the shade. This will make it easier for them to find dresses that match your vision.
• Provide a colour palette: Instead of restricting your bridesmaids to a single colour, consider providing a palette of 3-4 complementary colours to choose from. This will give them more flexibility and make it easier for them to find dresses in their preferred style and price range.
• Specify the level of formality: Let your bridesmaids know the level of formality expected for your wedding. Are you going for a black-tie event, a rustic barn setting, or a boho-chic beach wedding? The formality of the event will help guide their dress choices.
• Consider the season: Take into account the season and time of year when providing guidelines. Lighter fabrics and pastel colours are ideal for spring and summer weddings, while darker colours and heavier fabrics like velvet or crepe are more suitable for fall and winter celebrations.
• Discuss the budget: Be mindful of your bridesmaids' budgets. Bridesmaid dresses can range from $100 to $250 or more, and alterations can add to the cost. If you have a specific type of dress in mind, consider the financial impact on your bridesmaids. You can also suggest stores that offer a range of price points, like Nordstrom or ASOS.
• Accessories and shoes: Decide whether you want your bridesmaids to wear matching shoes and accessories. If you want them to wear specific jewellery or shoes, be sure to communicate this clearly. If you're flexible, let them know they can choose their own, but provide guidance on style to ensure a cohesive look.

Be mindful of costs

One of the main reasons brides choose to let their bridesmaids pick their own dresses is to avoid causing financial difficulty for their friends. Bridesmaid dresses can cost anywhere from $100 to $250, which can be a significant expense for some. By letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, you can avoid forcing a dress on anyone that they may not be able to afford.

If you want to give your bridesmaids freedom in choosing their dresses, it's important to consider the cost. More expensive fabrics like beaded dresses will likely cost more than chiffon. Additionally, certain stores or brands, such as David's Bridal, may have higher price points.

You can provide a shortlist of dress vendors with options in a variety of price ranges. You can also select a specific colour and let your bridesmaids pick their own styles from off the rack. This way, they can find something that fits their budget.

Another idea is to consider renting bridesmaid dresses from rental sites like Rent the Runway, which offers dresses from high-end designers at a fraction of the cost.

If you're concerned about the financial situation of any of your bridesmaids, be open to discussing it with them and be willing to work together to find a solution.

Provide a shortlist of vendors

If you want your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, it's a good idea to provide a shortlist of vendors (3-5) to choose from. This will help to ensure that the dresses are ordered on time and that they complement each other. Here are some tips for providing a shortlist of vendors:

• Consider different styles: Select different styles that you love, in a variety of price ranges. This will allow your bridesmaids to choose a dress that suits their budget and their personal taste.
• Be considerate of financial situations: Be open to discussing financial constraints with any bridesmaid who may be in a tough spot. You could also suggest rental sites, such as Rent the Runway, where your bridesmaids can rent dresses from high-end designers at a fraction of the cost.
• Mix and match: You don't have to choose just one vendor. Providing a list of a few different vendors will give your bridesmaids more options to choose from and increase the likelihood that they'll find a dress they love.
• Think about fabric and formality: The fabric and formality of the dresses should match the theme and venue of your wedding. For example, if you're having a casual wedding, suggest vendors that offer casual and low-key fabrics like chiffon and jersey. If you're having a black-tie wedding, direct your bridesmaids to vendors with more formal options like satin and sequins.
• Start early: Encourage your bridesmaids to start looking for dresses early on. It can take two to three months for bridesmaid dresses to arrive, so they'll need plenty of time to find a dress, make a decision, and order it.

Make it a group activity

Making bridesmaid dress shopping a group activity can be a fun way to bond with your bridesmaids and ensure everyone is happy with their dress choice. Here are some tips to make it a successful and enjoyable experience:

• Brunch and boutiques: Start the day with a leisurely brunch to get everyone relaxed and in a good mood. Then, visit a couple of boutiques that you've picked out in advance, making appointments if necessary. This way, your bridesmaids can try on a variety of dresses, and you can provide immediate feedback.
• Virtual options: If your bridesmaids don't live in the same area, schedule a video call with them as they shop. You can also create a dedicated group chat to share inspiration and discuss options.
• Provide guidelines: While you may want to give your bridesmaids freedom in choosing their dresses, it's important to provide some guidelines to ensure a cohesive look. Be specific about any requirements or preferences you have, such as colour, length, fabric, and formality. This will make the process less overwhelming for your bridesmaids and help them feel confident in their choices.
• Offer assistance: Remember that dress shopping for a wedding can be time-consuming and stressful for your bridesmaids, especially if they have busy lives. Be available to offer assistance, opinions, and store recommendations to streamline the process and reduce their burden.
• Start early: Encourage your bridesmaids to start their dress search early to avoid last-minute stress. It's recommended to place dress orders at least six months in advance to allow time for fittings and alterations.
• Be considerate of budgets: Discuss budgets privately with each bridesmaid to understand their financial situation. If possible, suggest stores that offer a range of price points or free shipping and returns to make it easier for them to find something within their budget.
• Make it fun: Remember, this is meant to be a fun experience for everyone! Enjoy the process of trying on dresses, provide encouragement, and celebrate the special moments leading up to your big day.

By making dress shopping a group activity, you can create a memorable and enjoyable experience for you and your bridesmaids while ensuring everyone feels confident and comfortable in their chosen attire.

Be available to help

If you want your bridesmaids to pick their own dresses, it's important to be available to help. Here are some tips to ensure the process is stress-free:

Be Available 24/7

Remember that your bridesmaids will want to please you, so be available to offer assistance, opinions, and store recommendations whenever they need it. This will help streamline the process and get them back to their lives.

Provide Clear Guidelines

While you want to give your bridesmaids freedom, providing clear guidelines will make the process easier for everyone. Be specific about any requirements or preferences you have, such as colour, length, material, and formality. This will prevent confusion and reduce the number of questions you'll need to answer.

Start a Shared Document

To help your bridesmaids visualise their options, create a shared document with inspiration and ideas. Include affordable dresses, separates, and jumpsuits in the colours and styles you have in mind. This will give them a starting point and show that you care about their success in this task.

Be Mindful of Their Time

Keep in mind that your bridesmaids have lives outside of wedding planning. Giving them the task of picking their own dresses can become a second job for them, especially if they have to spend multiple weekends hunting for the perfect dress. Be mindful of their time and try to make the process as efficient as possible.

Be Flexible

If you notice that your bridesmaids are overwhelmed or stressed by the task, be flexible and willing to adjust your approach. It's important to prioritise their well-being and ensure they're enjoying the lead-up to your wedding. If needed, you can always scrap the idea and opt for coordinating bridesmaid dresses.

Frequently asked questions