Bridesmaids: Who Are They And What Are Their Roles?

Bridesmaids are members of the bridal party in some Western traditional wedding ceremonies. They are usually close friends or relatives of the bride and are there to support the bride on her wedding day. The principal bridesmaid is called the chief bridesmaid, and if she is unmarried, she is called the maid of honour, or the matron of honour if she is married. Bridesmaids have a variety of duties, including planning pre-wedding events, helping the bride get ready, and providing practical and emotional support on the day.

Who can be a bridesmaid?

Bridesmaids are generally the most important people in the bride's circle of loved ones, such as best friends or relatives (sisters, sisters-in-law, etc.). They are part of the wedding party, which usually consists of the maid or matron of honour, best man, groomsmen, and other attendants chosen by the couple. Bridesmaids help plan and attend pre-wedding events, stand at the altar during the ceremony, and assist with other wedding duties as needed.

In the past, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. Today, the bride chooses how many bridesmaids to ask, and it is not uncommon for modern couples to opt for no bridesmaids or groomsmen at all.

In some cultures, such as Norway, the Netherlands, France, and Victorian Britain, it is customary for bridesmaids to be young girls rather than adult women. In modern English-speaking countries, this role is separate from that of the bridesmaid, and the child performing it is known as a flower girl.

The male equivalent of a bridesmaid is a groomsman, also known as an usher in British English.

What are the duties of a bridesmaid?

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. The role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride and the maid of honour, and to help plan and attend pre-wedding events. Here is a list of duties that are expected of a bridesmaid:

Before the Wedding

• Plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Attend all pre-wedding events, such as the engagement party, wedding shower, and rehearsal dinner.
• Help the bride emotionally and be there for moral support.
• Shop for and pay for your bridesmaid attire.
• Book travel and hotel reservations.
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Help with wedding planning tasks, such as addressing invitations or assembling favours.
• Buy a wedding gift.
• Be available for wedding dress shopping and fittings.
• Help with any wedding DIY projects.
• Keep a record of gifts at the bridal shower.
• Help decorate for events.

On the Wedding Day

• Get ready with the bride and other bridesmaids.
• Assist the maid of honour.
• Provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party.
• Participate in the ceremony and be photo-ready.
• Mingle with guests and be the life of the party.
• Help the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.
• Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.
• Be available for wedding photos.
• Give a speech, if asked.
• Check in with the newlyweds and ensure they are eating, drinking, and having a good time.
• Help with any outfit changes or bathroom breaks.
• Assist with young members of the bridal party.
• Encourage guests to sign the guest book or visit the photo booth.
• Help with the send-off, such as a sparkler exit.
• Tip any staff, if needed.
• Help the bride out of her dress and pack it away safely.

After the Wedding

• Attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or brunch.
• Help organise and pack up any leftover items, gifts, or decorations.
• Return any rentals to the vendor.
• Create a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party.

What is the origin of the bridesmaid tradition?

The tradition of bridesmaids has evolved over time, with the role of a bridesmaid in modern times being very different from that of the past. The origin of the Western bridesmaid tradition likely arose from a combination of factors, including socioeconomic class and status, family size, socialisation standards, and religion.

One of the most well-known origin stories of bridesmaids comes from the Biblical story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel, who were both escorted to the wedding by their own servants. These women were handmaidens (servants or slaves) instead of social peers. In ancient Rome, bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed identically to the bride and groom to confuse vengeful spirits or jealous suitors who might wish to harm the newlyweds. This practice was believed to provide protection and safeguard the couple from ill intent or bad luck during their wedding day.

In China during the feudal era, bridesmaids took on the responsibility of protecting the bride. Brides were susceptible to kidnapping by rival clans and hooligans, so the bridesmaids dressed like the bride to lower the risk of her being identified and taken. As legal protections for marriage were established, the role of the bridesmaid became more symbolic.

In the Victorian era, white was the official colour for both male groomsmen and female bridesmaids. This trend originated with Queen Victoria, who wore a long white wedding dress, and her bridesmaids matched the colour of her gown.

What is the cost of being a bridesmaid?

The role of a bridesmaid has evolved over time, from being a mere mere 'servant' to the bride to a more symbolic role. In modern times, bridesmaids are usually close friends or relatives of the bride, who assist her with the planning of the wedding and any pre-wedding events. While the duties of a bridesmaid are limited, the role does come with significant financial commitments.

The Cost of Attire and Accessories

Bridesmaids are often expected to purchase specific dresses, shoes, and accessories to match the wedding theme. The cost of a bridesmaid dress typically ranges from $100 to $300, but can be much higher, and this expense is usually borne by the bridesmaid herself. Additionally, alterations, undergarments, jewellery, and hairpieces can add a further $50 to $100 to the total cost.

Hair and Makeup

Most brides opt for professional hair and makeup services for their bridal party, which can cost bridesmaids anywhere from $100 to $300 or more. While some brides may cover these costs, it is not uncommon for bridesmaids to pay for these services themselves.

Travel and Accommodation

If the wedding is not local, bridesmaids may need to budget for flights, rental cars, or hotel stays, especially if the wedding is in a popular tourist destination or during peak wedding season. These expenses can quickly add up, with costs ranging from $300 to $1,000 or more.

Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party

Bridesmaids are usually expected to contribute to the bridal shower and bachelorette party, both financially and in terms of planning. Bridal showers typically cost bridesmaids around $50 to $150, while the bachelorette party can be even more expensive, ranging from $200 to $700 or more, especially if travel is involved.

Gifts

While not mandatory, it is customary for bridesmaids to give gifts to the happy couple, further adding to the overall cost of being a bridesmaid.

Overall, the cost of being a bridesmaid can easily reach thousands of dollars, and it is important for potential bridesmaids to carefully consider their financial commitments before accepting this role.

How to be a great bridesmaid?

Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at some traditional Western wedding ceremonies. They are usually close friends or relatives of the bride. Here are some tips on how to be a great bridesmaid:

Before the Wedding

Being a bridesmaid is an honour, but it can also be a lot of pressure. A great bridesmaid is supportive, proactive, and positive. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Be emotionally supportive: Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to be there for the bride and provide a calm and caring presence.
• Communicate honestly: Understand what's expected of you as a bridesmaid by having honest conversations about responsibilities and financial means from the start.
• Help with pre-wedding events: Support the maid of honour in planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Be gracious about dress choices: It may not be your first choice, but it's only one day, so be diplomatic.
• Plan an amazing hen party: Know your audience and plan an event that your friend will enjoy, regardless of what others may say.
• Show interest and help gather inspiration: Get on Pinterest, follow wedding accounts on Instagram, and offer to go to wedding fairs with the bride.
• Visit the wedding venue: Build a relationship with the staff so they know who to go to if there are any problems on the wedding day.
• Attend dress fittings: Help the bride find her dream dress and learn how to help her into it, manoeuvre the train, and tie up the bustle if there is one.
• Offer to take on specific tasks: Delegation can be difficult for brides, so take the lead and offer to take specific tasks off her plate.

During the Wedding

• Be a calming influence: The bride will want to feel relaxed on her wedding day, so ask for a list of contact numbers and deal with any queries that come up.
• Take care of the finishing touches: From positioning the bride's veil to organising the flower girls, the bride will be relying on you.
• Don't upstage the bride: Remember, it's not your big day.
• Offer practical help: Whether it's carrying her lipstick, helping with photographs, or holding her dress when she needs to use the bathroom, the bride will appreciate your support.
• Stay sober: Your duties don't end after the ceremony. The bride will want you to be present throughout the reception, so avoid having one too many drinks.
• Be on makeup and lipstick alert: The makeup artist usually leaves before the ceremony, so it's up to you to let the bride know if she needs a touch-up.
• Feed the bride: Make sure she eats something between the ceremony and the reception, as she may be busy with photos or chatting with guests and miss the canapés.
• Be the first one on the dance floor: It's a party, so don't be afraid to kick things off and get everyone dancing!

After the Wedding

• Gather up the decorations: If it's a DIY wedding, help box up the decorations and return any rentals to the vendor.
• Share photos and videos: It can take weeks for the couple to receive their official photos, so share any cute photos or videos you took during the day.

Frequently asked questions