Informed Bridesmaids: Understanding American Wedding Traditions

American weddings are a mix of diverse traditions and modern touches. While some American couples adhere to ancient traditions, others create their own. From the white wedding dress to the first dance, there are several time-honored traditions that most American couples still perform. For instance, the majority of American weddings include a wedding toast, the groom removing the bride's garter to toss to single men, and the wedding kiss. Bridesmaids, a staple in most weddings, originated in Roman times when they served as protection for the bride by wearing identical outfits to confuse evil spirits. Today, bridesmaids are instrumental in planning wedding-related events such as bachelorette parties. While American weddings are flexible and vary based on couples' origins, religions, ethnicities, cultures, lifestyles, and preferences, they are known for their unique blend of old and new traditions.

The white wedding dress

Before Queen Victoria, brides wore a variety of colours, with red being a particularly popular choice in Western Europe. Brides simply wore their best dress, which would often be worn again for other occasions. However, Queen Victoria's choice of a white dress, made from British silk and lace, captured the public's imagination and soon "weddings" became synonymous with "white dresses".

The white dress became a symbol of status and wealth, as white dresses were more expensive and harder to keep clean. They also offered a dazzling image for wedding photographers, who knew how to position the bride and groom to display their love and affection in every film.

In modern times, the tradition has evolved, with some brides putting their own spin on the ensemble by wearing off-white or adding colourful accents or accessories. According to the WeddingWire Newlywed Report, 82% of US brides now wear white.

So, if you're wondering what to wear to an American wedding, or if you're an American bride yourself, the white dress is a time-honoured tradition that continues to be a popular choice.

The first dance

The tradition of the first dance dates back to the days of formal balls, where the guest of honour, usually the person with the highest social position, would lead the first dance. In the context of weddings, the newly married couple are the guests of honour and so they lead the first dance.

In the past, the couple would not have danced the first dance alone. Etiquette guides from the early 20th century recommend that newlyweds wait until after their guests had begun dancing, and then dance with one another first before moving on to other partners. This was done while other guests continued dancing and was not treated as a performance.

Nowadays, many couples opt for a rehearsed, choreographed dance, while others simply slow dance or learn a ballroom dance style. The music is also highly varied, with many couples choosing modern chart hits.

Some couples find it strange to have everyone stand and watch them dance, so they invite other couples to join in after the first verse and chorus. This can include members of the wedding party or parents of the bride and groom. Some couples even skip the first dance altogether and everyone hits the dance floor together.

The wedding processional

In more traditional ceremonies, the bride's father walks her down the aisle, while in modern weddings, both parents accompany the bride. This tradition began in England during a royal wedding—that of Queen Victoria's oldest child.

The processional is a time of high emotion, especially for the groom and the father of the bride. It is the first time most people see the bride and her dress. For the father, it is the last time he walks with his daughter, and he knows that with every step, he is bringing her closer to her new husband and family.

Wedding cake customs

Wedding cakes are a staple of American weddings. They are usually the centrepiece of the reception, and cutting the cake is one of the wedding festivities.

The wedding cake tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where guests would crumble a barley cake or wheat scone over the bride's head to symbolise fertility and good fortune. In medieval times, a large stack of cookies and scones was created for the couple to kiss over. If they succeeded without the tower falling, it was believed they would have good luck.

In the 17th century, two cakes were made: one for the bride and one for the groom. The bride's cake was usually a simple pound cake with white icing, as white was a sign of virginity and purity. Over time, the groom's cake fell out of favour, and the bride's cake became the main event.

In the early 19th century, sugar became easier to obtain, and refined white sugars were highly prized. Wealthy families could afford to have very pure white frosting, which displayed their wealth and social status.

In modern times, wedding cakes are usually made with marzipan, fondant, gum paste, buttercream, and/or chocolate. They may be tiered, with pillars or separators between the layers to add height and visual impact. The cake may be topped with fresh flowers or a cake topper, such as a representation of the bride and groom.

In some parts of the US, particularly the South, two cakes are presented: a large, white tiered cake called the bride's cake, and a second cake called the groom's cake, which is usually chocolate or another flavour chosen by the groom.

The bouquet toss

The origins of the bouquet toss can be traced back to ancient Rome, where brides would carry or wear flowers as a symbol of new beginnings, fertility, and fidelity. These flowers were often a combination of herbs, like rosemary and dill, which were believed to have magical properties that would ward off evil spirits and ensure a happy marriage. In addition, the bride would also carry a wreath of flowers on her head, symbolising her virginity and purity.

Over time, the bridal bouquet evolved, and by the Middle Ages, brides carried elaborate bouquets made of fragrant herbs, flowers, and spices. These bouquets were often scented with rosewater to mask the unpleasant odours that were common in crowded, unhygienic churches. The bouquet was also seen as a symbol of good luck, and it was believed that the person who caught it would be blessed with happiness.

In the United States, the tradition of throwing the bouquet became more popular in the 19th century as weddings became more elaborate and formal. By the mid-20th century, it had become a staple of American weddings and was seen as a fun and lighthearted way to celebrate the newlyweds.

Today, the tradition has evolved to become more inclusive, with many couples choosing to toss the bouquet to all their guests, regardless of gender or marital status. This reflects the growing recognition of diversity and inclusivity in modern weddings.

Despite its evolution, the tradition of tossing the bouquet remains a beloved aspect of modern weddings. It is a reminder of the deep cultural traditions woven into wedding ceremonies and the joy and celebration that comes with the joining of two families.

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