Who Pays For The Wedding Party's Attire And More?

Being a bridesmaid or groomsman is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities and financial commitments. While every wedding is different, and there are no steadfast rules, there are some costs that you can almost always expect to be covered by the wedding party. For bridesmaids, these include the cost of their dress and accessories, bridal showers, hen dos, and the bachelorette party. Groomsmen, on the other hand, typically pay for the stag do and help the best man plan and pay for it. Both the bridesmaids and groomsmen usually cover their own accommodation costs and travel expenses. In addition, they may also chip in for gifts and surprises for the couple.

Outfits and accessories

For bridesmaids, the bride will often have a vision of what they are going to wear, but the method of choosing and purchasing the dresses varies. Some brides may request that all bridesmaids wear the same dress, while others take a more relaxed approach and allow people to choose their own dresses (which opens the door for more affordable and rewearable options).

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their dresses and accessories, although if the bride can afford to, it is becoming more common for her to pay for the dress or a portion of the cost for each of her bridesmaids. If the bride has a specific vision for accessories, these are usually paid for by the bridesmaids, but if she wants something specific, it is nice for her to cover the cost as a gift.

Groomsmen typically buy or rent their wedding attire. If the groom wants the groomsmen to wear something specific that cannot be rented, it is up to him whether to shoulder the cost or ask the groomsmen to purchase it. Groomsmen also need to buy accessories like shoes, socks, cufflinks, ties, and pocket squares, although the groom may gift these to his groomsmen.

Bridal showers

Planning and paying for a bridal shower can be a collaborative effort. While the maid of honour usually takes the lead in planning the event, it is becoming increasingly common for the entire bridal party, the mother of the bride, and even the bride herself to contribute financially.

The average cost of a bridal shower depends on the type of event. If you're hosting the bridal shower at a venue, you can expect to pay around $50 to $100 per person. This cost includes food, drinks, décor, flowers, favours, props or prizes for games, and invitations. If you're throwing a DIY celebration at home, your expenses will likely be lower.

• Have a conversation with the bride to understand her preferences and expectations. This will help you tailor the event to her likes and ensure that you don't overspend on unnecessary activities or expenses.
• Stick to the basics and work within your budget. You don't need to include all the extra add-ons to host a beautiful and memorable celebration.
• Consider the size of the venue. Smaller venues can be more cost-effective and create a cozier atmosphere.
• Be mindful of unexpected costs, such as taxes and tips, which are commonly left out of initial invoices for catering or restaurant services.
• Alcohol can be a significant expense, so consider budgeting for it separately.
• If you're planning a bridal shower on a budget, opt for simple food options like eggs, bacon, or other proteins, breakfast bread, juices, salad with protein, and sweet bites. A bottle of wine or two, or a glass of champagne can add a nice touch without breaking the bank.
• For décor, candles and hydrangeas can be affordable and elegant options.

Remember, the purpose of a bridal shower is to celebrate the bride and shower her with gifts before the big day. You don't need to go overboard with the bells and whistles.

Bachelor/Bachelorette parties

Bachelor and bachelorette parties can be expensive, especially when they involve travel and accommodation. While the specifics of who pays for what can vary from group to group, there are some general expectations and traditions around costs.

Travel and Accommodation

For destination bachelor/bachelorette parties, each guest is generally expected to cover their own travel costs and accommodation. This includes flights, train tickets, gas mileage, hotels, or Airbnb fees. It is considered good etiquette to give guests plenty of advance notice if the party will be held at a destination that requires travel so that they can budget and book accordingly.

Meals and Drinks

There is no clear consensus on who pays for meals and drinks during bachelor/bachelorette parties. Some sources suggest that guests should pay for the bride or groom's meals and drinks as a gift, while others suggest that everyone should cover their own tabs. In some cases, the bride or groom may opt to pay for one meal as a thank-you to their guests. It is also common for guests to take turns buying drinks or meals for the guest of honour throughout the party.

Decorations and Favours

Decorations, favours, and accessories are typically paid for by the bridal party, although guests may also chip in. The maid of honour or best man usually takes the lead on planning and purchasing these items, and costs are often split evenly among the group.

Special Experiences and Group Activities

Any special experiences or group activities, such as concerts, spa days, or boat rides, are usually considered optional, as they may not fit within everyone's budget. If the bride or groom wants to participate in an expensive activity, they should offer to cover the cost for their guests. Alternatively, the activity can be made optional or switched out for a more affordable option.

Safety Measures

It is considered a thoughtful gesture for the bride or groom to cover the cost of safety measures, such as chartered rides, to ensure that everyone can travel to and from parties safely.

Budget Management

To streamline budget management and reimbursement, it is recommended to designate one person, usually the maid of honour or best man, to serve as the party planner and budget keeper. This person can use apps like Splitwise or Venmo to track expenses and facilitate payments among the group. It is essential to have open and honest conversations about budgets and financial comfort levels early in the planning process to ensure that everyone feels included and respected.

Wedding day travel and accommodation

Traditionally, the bride's family is responsible for covering the cost of wedding day transportation for the wedding party and guests. This includes travel to and from the ceremony and reception venues, and sometimes to and from the hotel. However, nowadays, it is common for couples to cover these costs themselves or share them with their families.

If you are hosting a destination wedding or have guests travelling from out of town, it is a nice gesture to offer them transport options. This could be in the form of a shuttle bus to and from the venue or a discount code for rental cars. You could also provide guests with information about public transportation options and estimates of how much these will cost.

If you are inviting guests from out of town, it is a good idea to reserve a block of hotel rooms for them. You can usually get a group discount and sometimes extra perks like complimentary breakfast or late checkout. It is also worth asking your wedding venue if they have any partnerships with nearby hotels or Airbnbs.

As for the bridal party, if you are requesting that they stay with you overnight before the wedding, it is only fair that you cover the cost of their accommodation. However, if they are booking their own separate accommodation, it is usually expected that they will pay for this themselves. That being said, you may want to offer to chip in as a thank-you gift.

When it comes to travel on the wedding day, it is common for the wedding party to travel together in a smaller vehicle like a sprinter or a party bus. This ensures that everyone arrives at the venue on time and can be a fun way to celebrate ahead of the ceremony.

The cost of wedding transportation can vary depending on the type of transport and the length of time it is needed. For example, a stretch limo might cost $350 to $500 for three hours, while a shuttle bus could range from $800 to $1,200. It is a good idea to book your wedding transportation early to ensure you can get the vehicles you want and to give your guests plenty of time to plan their travel arrangements.

Gifts for the couple

Being a bridesmaid or groomsman comes with a lot of expenses, so it might be surprising that it's customary to also give a gift to the newlyweds. Each bridesmaid or groomsman can purchase their own gift, or the wedding party can club together for a group gift. This could be something from the couple's wedding registry, or something more personal.

If you're looking for gift inspiration, here are some ideas:

• A bottle of wine and two glasses
• A gift certificate to a romantic or favourite restaurant
• A beautiful frame for their wedding portrait
• A gift card to a home décor store
• A hangover kit (ibuprofen, vitamin C, gum, a sports drink, and a granola bar)
• Champagne or wine flutes
• Small makeup bags with or without initials
• Getting-ready robes or cosy shirts
• Jewellery to be worn on the wedding day
• Flasks or pint glasses
• Ties, pocket squares, dress socks, or wallet holders
• A favourite alcohol or a sentimental item

If you're going to a destination wedding, it's still customary to give a gift, but it's best to give it before or after the couple leaves or returns to avoid any luggage issues.

Frequently asked questions