Bridesmaids' Duties: What You Need To Tell Them

Brides-to-be often wonder what they should be telling their bridesmaids. It's important to give them all the information they need to know, such as a timeline of events, food arrangements, and dates for when their plus ones can meet them. It's also a good idea to communicate early and often, giving them dates for the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day in advance. Bridesmaids will also want to know about the dress, hair, and makeup expectations, as well as any costs involved. Being upfront about time and money commitments will help set expectations and give your bridesmaids time to plan.

Budget expectations

Budgeting for a wedding can be a stressful experience, and it's important to be mindful of your bridesmaids' financial situations. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, so it's a good idea to discuss budget expectations early on to ensure everyone is on the same page and your bridesmaids have enough time to plan. Here are some things to consider:

Be Upfront About Costs

It's important to be transparent about any costs you expect your bridesmaids to cover. These may include their dresses, shoes, jewellery, hair, and makeup. If you're asking them to pay for certain things, be clear about it upfront so they can plan their budgets accordingly. You don't want your bridesmaids to feel pressured or stressed about finances.

Discuss Budget Constraints

Ask your bridesmaids about their budget constraints or restrictions. Everyone's financial situation is different, and it's important to respect that. You may want to suggest renting bridesmaid dresses instead of buying them or offer to cover the cost of hair and makeup services if it's within your budget.

Plan Affordable Events

When planning events like the bachelorette party, consider your bridesmaids' budgets. Choose locations and activities that are affordable for everyone. You don't want to plan something that only a few can attend due to financial constraints. It's important to ensure everyone feels included and that the events leading up to your wedding are enjoyable and stress-free.

Provide a Breakdown of Costs

Give your bridesmaids a detailed breakdown of the expected costs. This will help them understand the financial commitment involved. For example, if you have a specific dress in mind, share the price range with them. The same goes for any other expenses, such as accommodation, transportation, or gifts. This way, they can make informed decisions and plan their budgets effectively.

Offer Alternatives

If you know that certain expenses may be out of reach for some of your bridesmaids, offer alternatives or suggest ways to cut costs. For example, instead of an expensive spa day, suggest a girls' night in with affordable face masks and snacks. Or, if you're open to it, let them choose their own dresses within a specific colour palette, so they can find options that fit their budgets.

Remember, open and honest communication about budget expectations is key to ensuring everyone is comfortable and happy. By being mindful of your bridesmaids' budgets, you can create a stress-free and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Food and drink

Breakfast

A continental breakfast is a good option if the bridal party is getting ready early in the morning. This could include mimosas, juice, coffee, pastries, fruit, muffins, bagels, and cream cheese. It's also a good idea to have some water available and perhaps a few light snacks like nuts or fruit.

Lunch

If the day extends into lunchtime, it's a good idea to provide something more substantial. Finger foods or sandwiches are always a good option, and you can add some veggies and chips to the mix. You could also provide a full and satisfying lunch, such as chicken caesar salads or a giant sub. Avoid anything messy that could stain dresses! It's also a good idea to provide some protein for those who might be pregnant or need something more filling.

Snacks

It's a good idea to have snacks available throughout the day to keep energy levels up. This could include nuts, dried fruit, string cheese, whole wheat crackers, bananas, apples, peaches, oranges, or protein bars and smoothies.

Alcohol

It's customary to have some alcoholic drinks available for the bridal party, such as champagne or mimosas. However, it's important to be mindful of alcohol consumption, especially if there are activities or events throughout the day. It's a good idea to pace yourself, drink water, and eat food in between drinks to avoid dehydration and over-intoxication.

Dinner

When it comes to dinner, it's a good idea for the bridal party to eat with the guests. Even a few bites can help keep energy levels up for the rest of the night. If possible, ask the coordinator to be served the meal first so you can eat before mingling with guests.

Dietary Restrictions

It's important to be mindful of any dietary restrictions or allergies that the bridal party members may have. Be sure to ask about these in advance so you can provide suitable food and drink options for everyone.

Budget

Discuss the budget for food and drinks with the bridal party in advance. This will help you plan and ensure that everyone is comfortable with the arrangements.

Overall, keeping the bridal party well-fed and hydrated is essential for a smooth and enjoyable wedding day for everyone involved!

Plus-ones

Your bridesmaids have likely dedicated a lot of time, energy, and money to your wedding, from dress shopping and planning your bachelorette party to fastening the buttons on your wedding dress. They may have also spent a lot of money out of their own pockets on attire, lodging, and transportation. Allowing them to bring a plus-one is a way to thank them for their support and to alleviate any discomfort they may feel attending the wedding alone.

When it comes to plus-one etiquette, it is generally considered appropriate to invite a bridesmaid's long-term partner or spouse. If your bridesmaid is in a serious, committed relationship at the time you send out invitations, their partner should also be included on the invite list. Excluding a long-term partner may cause discomfort and even strain your relationship with the bridesmaid.

However, it is not necessary to invite casual dates or partners your bridesmaid has only recently started seeing. Use your best judgment and consider the seriousness of the relationship when deciding whether to extend a plus-one invitation.

If one of your bridesmaids requests a plus-one after invitations have been sent, have an honest conversation with them. You can explain that the guest list is already at capacity but assure them that you will keep them in the loop if spots open up due to RSVPs.

Remember, your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family members. Treating them with respect and consideration throughout the wedding planning process will ensure that everyone looks back on your wedding day with fond memories.

Schedule and itinerary

A timeline is a great way to make sure you and your wedding party are in the right place at the right time. Here is a schedule and itinerary you can share with your bridesmaids:

12+ Months in Advance

• Send the bride and groom an engagement card
• RSVP to any engagement parties
• Buy and wrap a gift for the engagement party
• Once the wedding date and location are set, request time off work
• Book travel and lodging
• Create an organiser to keep yourself on schedule
• Offer to help the bride find her ceremony and reception locations
• Email the maid of honour to offer your help and any contacts for group planning

9 to 12 Months in Advance

• Get to know the other bridesmaids
• If invited, join the bride at wedding expos and when she shops for her wedding gown
• Begin a health regimen or step up your workout routine

6 to 8 Months in Advance

• Send dress suggestions to the maid of honour and bride
• Have your measurements taken by a seamstress
• Join the official search for bridesmaids' dresses
• Deliver your size card and deposit for the dress order
• Review your finances and budget for upcoming expenses
• Ask about shoes and accessories
• Offer to help the bride with planning tasks
• Find a date for the wedding, if you don't already have one

4 to 6 Months in Advance

• Discuss bridal shower plans with the other bridesmaids and maid of honour
• Volunteer to take on any bridal shower planning tasks
• Join the group in searching for the perfect bridal shower location
• Be able to tell friends where the couple is registered
• Deliver any payments due for dress or shoe orders
• If this is a destination wedding, check your passport validity

2 to 4 Months in Advance

• Make appointments for dress fittings
• Buy your wedding day undergarments and shoes
• Offer to help the bride with any wedding planning tasks
• Work on the bridal shower plans and pay your share of the expenses
• Buy and wrap the bridal shower present
• Ask the bride about your wedding day hair and beauty appointments

1 to 2 Months in Advance

• Host and pay for the bridal shower
• Help the bride keep track of gifts
• Plan the bachelorette party and send invitations
• Host and pay for the bachelorette party
• Offer to help the bride with any planning tasks
• Return your response card immediately
• Continue with dress fittings as needed
• Pick up your altered gown and store it in a safe place
• Offer to help the bride with any wedding planning tasks
• Take the bride out for a de-stressing activity
• Confirm your travel and hotel plans
• Get your pre-wedding haircut, colour and highlights
• Write the bride a letter to give her at the rehearsal dinner
• Buy the wedding gift and wrap it
• Confirm your beauty appointment
• Purchase any stockings or accessories for the big day
• Break in your new wedding day shoes
• Check in with the bride to get an updated itinerary
• Offer to help the bride with any last-minute tasks
• Travel to the wedding location in advance for pre-wedding events and helping

The Day Before the Wedding

• Arrive on time (or early) at your hotel, and unpack completely
• Set out your dress and accessories
• Check in with the bride to see if there's anything she needs
• Attend the arrivals cocktail party and greet guests
• Attend the rehearsal
• Attend the rehearsal dinner
• Join out-of-town guests at the hotel for a post-rehearsal-dinner event, if planned
• Join the bride to help her prepare last-minute items
• Take photos
• Go to bed early

On the Wedding Day

• Arrive on time (or early) to meet the bride and the other bridesmaids
• Attend the wedding morning breakfast
• Join the bridesmaids at the salon for hair and makeup, or prepare your own hair and makeup at the bride's chosen location
• Dress for pre-wedding photos
• Help the bride dress and prepare
• Pose for pre-wedding photos
• Help the bride gather any necessary items, such as the groom's ring, marriage license, emergency bag and other essentials
• Be sure you have your purse, keys, cell phone and other essentials
• Accompany the bride and bridal party to the ceremony location
• Participate in the wedding ceremony
• Stand in the receiving line, if required
• Pose for post-ceremony photos
• Participate in special introductions and dances at the reception
• Help the bride with any needs during the reception
• After the reception, help the bride gather belongings to take home, and pack her gifts in the car
• Direct guests back to their hotel, if needed
• Attend the after-party

Dress and accessories

When it comes to dress and accessories, there are a few things to keep in mind as a bride. Firstly, it is customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their own dress, shoes, and alterations, so it's important to have a conversation about budgets before shopping. Get a sense of how much each bridesmaid is able to spend, and consider their comfort and confidence in their chosen outfit.

You can make dress shopping fun by starting with a core group of decision-makers, like your maid of honour, and gathering online inspiration before heading to a bridal shop. While it's ultimately your decision, it's good etiquette to let your bridesmaids have some say in the dress choice. You can choose the colour and fabric, and let them select their own silhouette, or go with a mismatched look where they choose their own dresses within a specific colour palette or fabric.

As for accessories, you can suggest guidelines for shoes and jewellery, or even purchase and gift the jewellery you want them to wear. If you have specific requests for hair and makeup, be prepared to cover the cost for anyone who can't afford it, and be open to individual preferences and comfort levels.

• Be specific about any guidelines, such as colour, length, and material.
• Make dress shopping a group activity to ensure a fun bonding experience and timely decisions.
• Have a final check-in with your bridesmaids about their choices before finalising anything.
• Be clear about your expectations from the start to avoid confusion and resentment later on.
• Be considerate of your bridesmaids' budgets and try to find options that fit within their financial limits.
• Remember that your bridesmaids are your friends and family, and treat them with respect and flexibility throughout the process.

Frequently asked questions