Franklin Dean
A wedding officiant is a person who officiates at a wedding ceremony. The term officiant is more popular in the US and Canada, while celebrant is more commonly used in Australia, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. However, the two terms are interchangeable. Wedding officiants can be religious or non-religious officials, and they can include ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, judges, and government officials. Some couples may choose to have a friend or family member become licensed to officiate their wedding.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Length | Under 150 words |
| Tone | Humorous, romantic, serious, religious, etc. |
| Content | Inside jokes, personal stories, promises, etc. |
| Purpose | Declare intent to marry and consent |
| Participants | Groom first, bride first, or together |
| Examples | "I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." |
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What You'll Learn
- Consent and the traditional 'I do': The traditional way to incorporate consent into your vows
- 'To have and to hold': A vow to be faithful and to maintain affection
- 'For better, for worse': A promise to stay together through life's ups and downs
- 'In sickness and in health': A pledge to support each other through illness
- 'Till death do us part': A lifelong commitment
Consent and the traditional 'I do': The traditional way to incorporate consent into your vows
The person who recognizes wedding vows is often the officiant, who can be a religious official or someone ordained for the day.
Consent and the traditional "I do"
The traditional way to incorporate consent into your vows is through the familiar phrase "I do," which is said in response to a series of questions from the officiant. This is a common practice in many religious ceremonies, including Catholic weddings, where the exchange of consent is considered an "indispensable element" that "makes the marriage."
Officiant: (Name), do you take (name) to be your wife/husband? Do you promise to be faithful to her/him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her/him, and to honor her/him all the days of your life?
Bride/Groom: I do.
Alternatively, the couple may choose to recite the full vows after the officiant, which still concludes with "I do":
Officiant: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife/husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honor you all the days of my life.
Bride/Groom: I do.
In some religious traditions, such as Jewish ceremonies, the vows are recited only when the ring is given or exchanged. In this case, the phrase "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" may be recited in Hebrew.
While these traditional formats provide a time-honored structure, couples are increasingly choosing to write their own vows, incorporating personal anecdotes, humor, and unique promises. However, it is important to note that the legal requirements for the declaration of consent may vary depending on your local jurisdiction, so it is recommended to consult the relevant authority.
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'To have and to hold': A vow to be faithful and to maintain affection
The phrase "to have and to hold" is a traditional element of wedding vows, often included in civil ceremonies and religious services alike. The phrase is about free will and personal responsibility for one's choice of spouse. It is not about ownership but rather belonging together.
In the context of the full vow, "to have and to hold" is usually followed by "from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health". This phrase is a pledge of commitment, promising to stay together and be faithful no matter what life brings.
"I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. With my body, I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods, I thee endow."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."
"I, [name], take you, [name of bride/groom], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy will; and I pledge to you my faithfulness."
When crafting wedding vows, it is important to consider the deeper meaning of the words and the promises being made. "To have and to hold" is a powerful statement of commitment and a recognition that the journey of marriage will involve both joys and challenges. It is a promise to belong to one another, to protect and provide for one another, and to remain faithful through all of life's ups and downs.
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'For better, for worse': A promise to stay together through life's ups and downs
Wedding vows are a serious, lifelong commitment made in front of many witnesses. They are a public declaration of love and devotion and a promise to stay together through life's ups and downs. While some couples opt for traditional vows, others prefer to write their own, reflecting their unique culture, religion, values, and relationship. Here are some examples of vows that capture the sentiment of "for better, for worse: a promise to stay together through life's ups and downs":
Traditional Vows
"I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part." This traditional vow, often used in Christian weddings, is a romantic declaration of love and commitment. It emphasizes the free will of the couple, their intent to marry, and their consent.
Personalized Vows
"I knew you were 'the one' when I realized that you are a better person than me. I admire you and look up to you for all the good you bring to this world. [...] You are so blessed with the rare heart of a servant and your thoughtfulness touches everyone's life you are a part of. [...] I vow to support you, inspire you, and love you always. For as long as we both shall live, I will be by your side—for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. You are my one and only today and every day."
"I, Daniela, take you, Megan, to be my wife, my best friend, and partner. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, acceptance, and gratitude; one that withstands the tides of time and changes and grows along with us."
"I vow to always be your protector and confidante, responsible for making sure your every need is met, every want is reached, and every dream realized. [...] From this life we have built to get to this moment, this great moment in our life, looking into your beautiful eyes, I vow to always be your good thing, with love in my heart, always by your side, to my last breath. I love you."
"I love our shared obsession with 'late-night snackies' and how you showed me pizza that's better than Costco pizza. I vow to laugh at all of your jokes, to never make you read books, and to attend any doctor's appointment if it will make you feel better."
"When I am with you, everything else fades into the background. You flood my senses with joy. You are my life, my greatest gift. [...] My life is forever entangled with yours from this day on. My dreams are your dreams, and I'll build it all around you. [...] With this ring, I promise you that you'll never have to face the world alone. I promise to be there to catch you if you should stumble, carry you over every threshold, and fall in love with you every day. I pledge today to have all the patience and passion that love demands. In the laughter and in the silence, I'll be forever by your side."
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'In sickness and in health': A pledge to support each other through illness
The traditional wedding vows according to the Book of Common Prayer include the phrase "in sickness and in health". The vows are as follows:
> I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Here, the wedding ring is placed on the finger, and the following is said:
> With this ring, I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
The vows according to the service in Common Worship, followed since 2000, are similar:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law.
In a Jewish ceremony, the groom says:
> Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel.
Then the groom places the ring on the bride's finger. If the wedding is a double-ring ceremony, the bride recites the same words (with changes for gender) and places the ring on the groom's finger.
In a Buddhist ceremony, the couple may say:
> Today we dedicate ourselves completely to each other, in body, speech, and mind. Throughout this life, in every situation, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we promise to work to help each other perfectly. We commit to working together in our relationship toward the purpose of attaining enlightenment by striving to always perfect our kindness and compassion toward all sentient beings.
In a Pagan ceremony, the couple may say:
> I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.
In a Methodist ceremony, the couple may say:
> In the name of God, I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
In a Viking ceremony, the couple may say:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. By the strength of Thor's hammer, I vow to protect and cherish you. By the light of the sun and the power of the gods, I pledge to love and honour you always.
In a more modern ceremony, couples may choose to write their own vows. For example, one person may say:
> I knew you were "the one" when I realised that you truly are a better person than me. I admire you and look up to you for all the good you bring to this great big world. [...] Your core is one of a kind and I am the richest [person] to get to marry you.
Another example of modern vows is:
> I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side. I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving [spouse] for the rest of my days. I pledge to honour you, love you, and cherish you as my [spouse] today and every day.
Another person may choose to include humour in their vows:
> I vow to never make you read books. I vow to attend any doctor's appointment if it will make you feel better.
Ultimately, wedding vows are a pledge to support each other through life's challenges, including illness. Whether traditional or modern, religious or secular, the vows should reflect the unique nuances of the couple's relationship and their commitment to each other.
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'Till death do us part': A lifelong commitment
The phrase "till death do us part" is often used in wedding ceremonies to symbolise the lifelong commitment between two people. The phrase is not explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but it is implied in several passages that emphasise the permanence of marriage. For example, Malachi 2:16 states, "I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel", and Jesus affirmed the indissolubility of marriage, saying, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6).
The traditional marriage vow, "till death do us part", is a recognition of free will and a voluntary decision to commit to another person for life. It is a promise to stay faithful and committed, no matter what challenges arise.
"Today, surrounded by all of your loved ones, I choose you to be my husband. I am proud to be your wife and to join my life with yours. I vow to support you, inspire you, and love you always. For as long as we both shall live, I will be by your side—for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. You are my one and only today and every day."
"I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side. I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days. I pledge to honour you, love you, and cherish you as my husband today and every day. Today I say, "I do" but to me that means, "I will." I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile. I will love you forever."
"My life is forever entangled with yours from this day on. My dreams are your dreams, and I'll build it all around you. Forever with you simply will not be enough, but from this day forward, I vow to make the most of every moment. Today I join my life to yours, not simply as your husband, but as your friend, your lover, and your biggest supporter. Let me be the shoulder you lean on and the companion of your life. With this ring, I promise you that you'll never have to face the world alone."
Some couples may also choose to incorporate humour into their vows, such as referencing inside jokes or shared experiences, while others may opt for short and sweet vows filled with emotion and poignant words. Ultimately, the content and style of the vows are up to the couple and should reflect their unique relationship.
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