George Boyle
Wedding vows are the words exchanged by a couple during their wedding ceremony. They can be religious or non-religious, traditional or personalised, and are often used to symbolise the moment a couple becomes one. The vows can be memorised, repeated after an officiant, or recited in the form of a question, prompting a response of I do or I will. They are usually followed by an exchange of rings to seal the promises made. When writing wedding vows, it is important to consult your partner, be genuine, and practice reciting them aloud.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Recited by | Bride and groom |
| Recited to | Each other, or to the officiant |
| Who officiates | Priest or other clergy member, or a friend or relative |
| Who they're made before | God, family, and friends |
| What they signify | The moment when a couple officially becomes one |
| What they represent | A lifelong commitment to one's spouse |
| What they're exchanged for | Rings |
| What they can include | Promises, jokes, stories, gratitude, quotes, and more |
| What they can be | Romantic, emotional, humorous, light-hearted, serious, simple, complicated |
| What they can be compared to | A monologue |
| Whether they can be changed | No, they're legally binding |
| Whether they can be personalised | Yes |
| Whether they can be written by the couple | Yes |
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What You'll Learn
How to write your own wedding vows
Writing your own wedding vows can be exciting, but it can also feel overwhelming. The key is not to overthink it. Here are some tips to help you get started and craft vows that are meaningful and personalised:
Brainstorm and Collect Your Thoughts
Begin by jotting down all your thoughts and feelings about your partner and your relationship. Write down everything that comes to mind, from romantic stories and memories to future promises, dreams and plans. Include specific moments and experiences you've shared, and express your gratitude to your partner. Think about what you admire about them and what they mean to you. Consider the unique bond you share and how your lives have improved since being together.
Consult with Your Partner
Before you start writing, talk to your partner about expectations, length, tone, and how personal you want the vows to be. Agree on when you'll recite them, who will speak first, and whether you want to include any inside jokes or references that only the two of you understand.
Structure and Content
Traditional wedding vows often include promises to love, honour, and support each other, and to be faithful. They may mention standing by each other through good times and bad, in sickness and health, and for richer or poorer. You can use these traditional elements as a starting point and personalise them to suit your relationship.
Make sure to include "I love you" and express your admiration for your partner. You can also add some humour to your vows to make them lighthearted and enjoyable.
Practice and Presentation
Once you've finalised your vows, practice reading them aloud. Rehearse several times to build your confidence for the big day. Also, consider the aesthetics of what you'll be reading from—a fresh copy or a vow booklet might be preferable to a scratched-out notepad.
Remember, your vows are a reflection of your unique relationship, so feel free to customise and add personal touches. Don't worry about sounding corny or cheesy—if the words are heartfelt, they will be meaningful.
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Religious wedding vows
While some religious wedding vows are set in stone, others allow for customisation or personalisation. For instance, Christian wedding vows are based on biblical principles, but there is no specific template for Christ-centred wedding vows. Couples can tweak traditional vows or write their own unique vows as long as they are founded on Christian principles.
Example 1
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part. According to God’s holy ordinance, I pledge you my faithfulness."
Example 2
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until we are parted by death."
Example 3
"I, [name], take you, [name], with deepest joy, to be my wedded [wife/husband]. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you, a loving and faithful [wife/husband]. Always will I perform my headship over you, even as Christ does, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my tenderest care. I promise to live first unto God and to lead our lives in faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Through the spirit of His word, I pledge to honour God's guidance throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us."
Example 4
"I, [name], take you, [name], in faith, honesty and love, to be my wedded [wife/husband], to share with you God's plan for our lives together, united in Christ. With God's help, I will be your [spiritual leader/supportive partner] for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, in joys and in sorrows, until death do us part. I give you all that I have, myself, and my love. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I seal this vow with my ring."
These examples can be modified or used as inspiration to write your own unique vows that reflect your relationship and beliefs.
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Non-religious wedding vows
Wedding vows are a unique expression of love between the couple getting married. There are no rules on what to include in your vows, but they are a promise to each other as you enter marriage.
If you're not religious, you might prefer to write your own vows, adapt examples, or blend different styles. The most meaningful vows are those that feel authentic and true to your relationship. You could include inside jokes, references to your shared history, or promises to do certain things in the marriage.
> "I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you."
> "You cannot possess me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am a free person. But I shall serve you in those ways you require, and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand."
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband/partner], from this day forward. I will support and care for you, and I promise to be faithful. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."
> "I believe in you, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my [wife/husband], acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph."
Remember, you don't need to memorise your vows. It's perfectly acceptable to read them, and having a written copy can provide a beautiful keepsake from your wedding day.
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Traditional wedding vows
Anglican Wedding Vows
"I, [name], take thee, [name], to my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth. With this ring, I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
Quaker Wedding Vows
"In the presence of God and these our friends, I take thee, [name], to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live."
Jewish Wedding Vows
"Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel." This vow is often followed by the phrase, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine," in Hebrew.
Hindu Wedding Vows
"Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living. Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental, and spiritual powers. Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use. Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust. Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous, and heroic children. Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity. Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock."
Catholic Wedding Vows
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
Personalized Wedding Vows: Make Your Promises Unique
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Personalised wedding vows
Writing your own wedding vows can be an exciting yet daunting task. The key is to make them personal and true to your relationship. Here are some tips and examples to help you create your own unique and heartfelt wedding vows.
Brainstorming and Planning:
Before putting pen to paper, take some time to brainstorm and plan out your ideas. Reflect on your relationship and jot down all the thoughts and feelings that come to mind about your partner. Include your favourite memories, the things you love about them, and what makes your relationship special. Be sure to consult your partner about expectations, length, tone, and how personal you want the vows to be.
Structure and Content:
Your vows can include a mix of sentimental and lighthearted elements. Here is a suggested structure to guide you:
Introduction: Start with a statement about who your partner is to you—your best friend, your lover, your confidant, or simply your everything.
Example: "You are my best friend, my partner in crime, and the love of my life."
Expressions of Gratitude: Express your gratitude for your partner and share what you appreciate about them.
Example: "Thank you for always supporting me and loving me unconditionally. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and allowing me to be myself."
Recounting Memories: Share a romantic story or a funny anecdote about your relationship. This could be about how you first met, a memorable date, or a challenging time you overcame together.
Example: "I knew you were 'the one' when we went on that disastrous hike and got hopelessly lost, but we ended up having the best time anyway, laughing and talking for hours."
Promises and Commitments: Make specific promises to your partner, such as supporting their dreams, being faithful, or even smaller commitments like sharing snacks or letting them have the last fry. Include traditional elements if desired, such as "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health."
Example: "I promise to love and support you through all of life's adventures. I will be your partner in all things, your biggest fan, and your honest critic. I vow to always have your back and to share in both the good times and the bad."
Expression of Love: Don't forget to include those three important words— "I love you."
Example: "I love you more than anything, and I am thrilled to spend the rest of my life by your side."
Finalising and Delivering the Vows:
Once you've written your vows, take time to rehearse them. Practice reading them aloud, and consider the aesthetics of what you'll be reading from—a fresh copy, a vow booklet, or even a personalised vow booklet. Remember, your vows are a gift to one another, so don't share them beforehand unless you want to.
Creating personalised wedding vows allows you to infuse your unique story and promises into your wedding ceremony. While it may seem challenging, with planning and sincerity, your vows will be a meaningful expression of your love.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding vows are the words exchanged by a couple during their wedding ceremony. They are often a declaration of love and a promise for the future.
Wedding vows should sound like you and your partner. They can be sentimental, funny, lighthearted, or serious. They should be heartfelt and authentic. You can include romantic stories, inside jokes, or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times. Most importantly, don't forget to say "I love you" at some point.
It is recommended to keep wedding vows concise and memorable. If they take more than two minutes when practising aloud, it's time to edit.
Wedding vows should be written well in advance of the wedding day to avoid procrastination and last-minute stress. It is also a good idea to send them to your officiant or a friend at least two weeks before the wedding to get feedback and ensure they match your partner's vows.
Practising your wedding vows is essential to gain confidence for the big day. Practise reading them aloud and looking up from the paper to make eye contact with your partner. Consider the aesthetics of the paper you are reading from, and store the physical copy in a secret spot before the wedding.
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