Chief Bridesmaid's Duties: A Comprehensive Guide

The role of chief bridesmaid, or maid of honour, is an important one. The chief bridesmaid is the bride's closest friend or relative, and her main duty is to support the bride throughout the wedding process, both emotionally and practically. This might include helping to plan pre-wedding events such as the hen party, as well as being a point of contact for RSVPs and gifts. On the day, the chief bridesmaid should ensure the bride is relaxed, has eaten, and is on schedule with hair and makeup. She should also be prepared to help the bride with any outfit or makeup touch-ups and be on hand to offer reassurance if the bride is feeling nervous.

Pre-Wedding Support

The role of chief bridesmaid, or maid of honour, is to be the bride's closest confidante and provide support throughout the entire wedding process. Here are some duties to fulfil as part of this important role in the lead-up to the wedding:

• Emotional support: Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to be there for the bride and provide a calm and caring presence.
• Attend dress appointments: Offer your opinion and support when the bride is choosing her wedding attire.
• Communicate: Be honest about your expectations and responsibilities as a bridesmaid, especially regarding financial commitments.
• Help with pre-wedding events: Planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party are typical duties for the chief bridesmaid.
• Support the maid of honour: If there is a maid of honour, assist her with planning and executing pre-wedding events and other tasks.
• Offer planning assistance: Help with wedding tasks such as DIY projects, collecting items, and venue set-up.
• Celebrate the engagement: Plan or attend celebratory events and use this opportunity to discuss your level of involvement with the couple.
• Discuss finances: Talk to the bride about financial expectations, including your attire, hair, and makeup.
• Go dress shopping: Accompany the bride and other bridesmaids when choosing bridesmaid dresses, offering positive and constructive feedback.
• Support with wedding planning: Assist with specific tasks like wedding favours, stationery, sorting RSVPs, and offering opinions on wedding suppliers.
• Plan the bachelorette party: Take the lead on planning the bachelorette party, considering the bride's wishes and what she doesn't want to do.
• Be a point of contact: Take on key tasks such as managing RSVPs, gift enquiries, and being a central point of contact for other bridesmaids and suppliers.
• Keep the peace: Ensure smooth interactions among the bridesmaids and manage any personality clashes or miscommunications.
• Arrange emergency kits: Prepare a wedding day emergency kit for the couple and a sleepover kit for the bridal party if you're staying overnight before the wedding.
• Offer to make a speech: In case others are unable or become unexpectedly unavailable, be prepared to step in and give a speech or reading during the ceremony.
• Attend pre-wedding events: Be present and involved in all pre-wedding events, including the engagement party and rehearsal dinner, to offer the bride consistent support.
• Introduce yourself to the wedding planner: Ensure the planner knows who you are and how to contact you in case of any last-minute issues.
• Collect supplier contacts: Have all supplier phone numbers on hand, along with the best man, to handle any delays or issues on the wedding day.

Remember, the bride may have specific requests or expectations, so be sure to communicate openly and provide the support she needs throughout this exciting and emotional time.

Planning the Hen Party

Know the Bride's Preferences

It is essential to find out what the bride wants and doesn't want for her hen party. Communicate with her and understand her expectations. This will help you plan an event that aligns with her wishes.

Collaborate with the Bridesmaids

As the chief bridesmaid, you will be expected to take the lead in organising the hen party. However, it is a good idea to collaborate with the other bridesmaids and delegate tasks. This will make the planning process more manageable and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Choose a Theme or Activity

Selecting a theme or a specific activity for the hen party can help create a fun and cohesive experience for the bride and her guests. Consider the bride's personality and interests when choosing a theme. For example, a spa day, a night out on the town, or an afternoon tea party.

Create a Guest List

Work with the bride to create a guest list that includes her closest friends and family members. It is important to ensure that the guest list suits the type of party you are planning. For instance, a wild night out might not be suitable for all guests, whereas a more low-key activity could be inclusive of a wider range of attendees.

Set a Budget

Discuss the budget with the bride and the other bridesmaids. Determine how much everyone is comfortable spending and how the costs will be divided. If the bride is supplying a list of guests, she may also be responsible for ensuring their expenses are covered.

Choose a Date and Location

When selecting a date for the hen party, consider the availability of the bride and her guests. Try to choose a date that works for everyone, especially if guests are travelling from different locations. The location should be convenient and accessible for all attendees.

Send Out Invitations

Create and send invitations to the guests, including all the necessary details such as the date, time, location, and any specific instructions. It is a good idea to send out invitations well in advance, especially if guests need to make travel arrangements.

Plan Activities and Games

Organise a variety of activities and games that the bride and her guests will enjoy. This could include anything from spa treatments, to cocktail-making classes, to fun party games. Ensure that the activities are inclusive and suitable for all guests.

Arrange Food and Drinks

Depending on the type of hen party you are planning, you may need to organise food and drinks. This could be a simple brunch, a catered dinner, or just some snacks and beverages. Ensure that you accommodate any dietary restrictions or preferences of the guests.

Create a Playlist

Music is an essential part of any party! Create a playlist that suits the theme and atmosphere of the event. If there is a dance party, consider including a mix of upbeat songs that will get everyone on the dance floor.

Don't Forget the Decorations

Decorations can add a special touch to the hen party. This could include balloons, banners, table settings, or any other decorative elements that fit the theme.

Final Touches

In the lead-up to the hen party, confirm all the details with the venue and vendors. Create a timeline for the event, including the schedule of activities, to ensure that everything runs smoothly on the day.

Remember, the most important aspect of planning the hen party is to ensure that the bride has a memorable and enjoyable time with her loved ones.

Wedding Day Assistance

On the wedding day, the chief bridesmaid's duties include:

• Maintaining a calming influence and being as organised as possible.
• Ensuring everyone is where they should be and that the right clothes and accessories are ready for the right person.
• Dealing with any emergencies that might arise.
• Helping to dress younger attendants and ensuring they look perfect until the transport arrives.
• Being the bride's cheerleader so she enjoys the day.
• Looking after emergency supplies for the bride and other bridesmaids, such as lipstick, tissues, a powder compact, and a mirror.
• Organising the other bridesmaids and pageboys, particularly any very young ones, for photos before the bride arrives.
• Ensuring everyone is assembled and in the right position behind the bride, ready for her entrance, and calming any excited young bridesmaids and pageboys.
• Making any necessary adjustments to the bride's veil and dress before her entrance.
• Following the bride into the venue (or going first, American style) and sitting near the front, ready for the procession out at the end.
• Knowing where to go and ensuring any very young children have their parents seated close by.
• Taking the bride's bouquet and gloves (if she is wearing any) and looking after them for the duration of the service.
• Going with the couple into the vestry or side room, accompanied by the best man, to witness the signing of the register.
• Taking a position behind the bride and her new husband, along with the best man, for the recessional.
• Organising the couple and attendants for photographs after the ceremony.
• Participating in the receiving line at the reception, if the bride wants this.
• Displaying the bride's bouquet somewhere safe (and preferably cool) to ensure it doesn't get damaged during the rest of the day.
• Circulating among the guests during the reception, ensuring they are enjoying themselves and using any disposable cameras provided.
• Reminding the bride to throw her bouquet into the crowd of female guests for luck.
• Being on hand to take care of the bride's wedding dress and ensure that it is returned to her home or to the hire shop.
• Posing for funny photos and helping to hold the bride's wedding dress out of the way while she goes to the bathroom.

In addition, the chief bridesmaid should be available to assist the bride throughout the wedding day. This includes:

• Helping the bride get ready.
• Ensuring the bride eats and stays hydrated.
• Assisting the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.
• Providing an emergency kit and the bride's lipstick.
• Assisting the bride when going to the bathroom, if required.
• Keeping the bride's train and veil looking perfect throughout the day.
• Helping to round up family members for photos.
• Carrying an emergency kit.
• Fulfilling any other roles assigned during the ceremony, such as making a speech or reading, and processing out of the ceremony according to the plan.
• Being available for wedding photos.
• Encouraging guests to sign the guest book or visit the photo booth.
• Helping the bride into her second dress, if she has one for dancing.
• Being the first on the dance floor and encouraging others to join.
• Arranging for candles, rose petals, and bubbly in the bridal suite.
• Helping with any send-off the couple has planned, such as a sparkler exit.
• Taking the wedding bouquet and putting it in water for preserving.
• Tipping any staff, if required.

Post-Wedding Tasks

The chief bridesmaid's duties don't end when the wedding does. Here are some things she can do to support the newlyweds after the big day:

• Help the bride change out of her dress and ensure a smooth departure from the party.
• Take responsibility for the bride's wedding gown, either by getting it to a professional cleaner or storing it at her home.
• Offer to pick up the couple's mail or take care of their pet while they are on their honeymoon.
• Schedule some one-on-one time with the bride after she returns from her honeymoon to recap the best memories of the day.
• Help to return any hired clothing or accessories, and take dresses and outfits to be dry-cleaned.
• Help take down any decorations and collect any items the couple will need, such as their wedding cake, centrepieces and floral arrangements.
• Help the couple with their luggage and ensure their overnight bags make it to their wedding night hotel room.
• Organise guests to an after-party, if there is one.
• Create a digital collection of any photos and videos taken by the wedding party while the couple waits for their official photos.
• Attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or post-wedding brunch.

Emotional Support

The chief bridesmaid should also be a shoulder to lean on (and cry on, if necessary). They can be a much-needed second opinion and a go-between for family and friends. It's important to be emotionally supportive and ensure the bride feels calm and cared for while planning such a momentous occasion.

The chief bridesmaid can also help the bride with any or all of the wedding preparations, including shopping for her wedding dress and going with her to dress fittings. They can lend a hand and serve as a sounding board for many of the bride's decisions. They can also help the bride select the bridesmaids' dresses and accessories and act as a helpful liaison between the bride and other bridesmaids.

The chief bridesmaid should also be there for the bride on the wedding day itself. They can help the bride get dressed, calm her nerves, and reassure her that she looks beautiful. They can also act as an intermediary for any tense moments between members of the wedding party or family, so as not to disturb the bride.

Frequently asked questions