Best Man's Duties: What You Need To Know

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and has a variety of responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding. The role is usually given to the groom's closest friend or family member, but ultimately, it can be assigned to anyone the couple feels comfortable with. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, writing and delivering a speech, helping the groom and groomsmen choose their attire, keeping the wedding rings safe, greeting guests, and ensuring the groom arrives at the venue on time. Additionally, the best man may be asked to assist with wedding planning tasks, return hired items, and decorate the newlyweds' car. While the role carries significant responsibilities, it is also a great honour and allows the best man to play an integral role in the couple's special day.

Organise the stag do

Organising the stag do, or bachelor party, is one of the most important duties of a best man. Here is a detailed, step-by-step guide on how to organise an epic stag do:

Planning and Preparation

Begin planning the stag do several months in advance. The earlier you start, the less stressful it will be and the better the stag do will be. Ask the groom for a list of people he wants to invite and get a date in the diary as soon as possible. Consider everyone's budget and try to organise the stag do at least a month before the wedding so that everyone has time to recover.

Location and Activities

Discuss with the groom whether he would prefer a local stag do or something further away. Would he prefer a big night out, a weekend away, or a full week of celebrations? Consider the group's budget when deciding on a location and activities. A big blowout in Vegas might sound amazing, but if only a few people can afford to go, it might be better to organise something closer to home.

Dates and Invites

Pick two or three potential dates and ask the group which they can attend. This is the easiest way to organise a large group without going back and forth. Once you have a date, confirm all the arrangements, including flights and accommodation, at least two weeks before the stag do.

Food and Drink

As the best man, you may be in charge of organising food and drink for the stag do. Make sure to consider any dietary requirements and preferences within the group.

Games and Pranks

Think of ways to personalise the stag do with games and funny pranks. Just remember that your main responsibility is to ensure that nothing happens that could threaten any relationships.

Recovery Time

Try to organise the stag do with enough time for everyone to recover before the wedding. This will give people time for bruises to fade and hangovers to be forgotten.

Transport and Accommodation

If the stag do involves travelling, you will need to book transport and accommodation for the group.

Check-In with the Groom

Throughout the planning process, regularly check in with the groom to ensure that the stag do is to his taste and that he is happy with the plans.

Stay Sober

Although it might be tempting to party hard, remember that your most important responsibility is to ensure that nothing happens that could threaten any relationships. Therefore, it might be a good idea to stay sober or, at least, only have a few drinks.

Help choose the suits

As the best man, you will be the groom's right-hand man and it is your duty to help him choose his wedding suit and those of the groomsmen. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you with this important task:

Discuss Ideas with the Couple

First, talk to the couple about their preferences for the style of the suits. Also, decide whether the suits will be bought or hired, and whether the groomsmen will be contributing financially. Communicate this information to the groomsmen so that everyone is aware before trying anything on.

Round Up the Groomsmen

As the best man, you will need to assist the groom in gathering all the groomsmen and important members of the wedding party to go suit shopping.

Choose the Type of Suit

There are several types of suits to choose from, including single-breasted, double-breasted, slim-fit, regular fit, modern fit, and relaxed fit. The type of suit chosen will depend on the desired level of formality, the season, and the body types of the groom and groomsmen. For example, a double-breasted suit is more formal and slimming, while a slim-fit suit is more fitted and accentuates the natural body shape.

Choose the Fabric

The fabric of the suits will depend on the season and location of the wedding. Wool is the most popular choice for suits, but other options include cotton, linen, and synthetic materials. Wool suits are ideal for cold and chilly weather, while linen and cotton suits are more suitable for warm and humid climates. If the wedding is taking place outdoors, consider a heavier fabric like wool for the evening, and a lighter fabric like linen or cotton for the morning or afternoon.

Choose the Colour

The colour of the suits should be chosen in accordance with the time of day, season, and type of wedding. If the ceremony is taking place before 6 pm, the best man will typically wear a tuxedo or morning dress, depending on the groom's preference. If the wedding is in the afternoon or evening, a tuxedo or morning dress is customary, while a tailcoat is recommended for after 6 pm. For a religious wedding, opt for a formal, traditional, and polished look, while a civil wedding may allow for a more informal style. Dark blue, charcoal grey, and midnight blue are popular colour choices for the best man's suit, as they flatter any complexion and body type, and offer both formality and elegance.

Finalise the Details

Once the suits have been chosen, there are a few final details to consider. Firstly, decide whether the suits will require any alterations. Secondly, choose the type of shirt and tie or bow tie to go with the suits. A white shirt is traditional, while the tie or bow tie should be plain and made of silk. If the groom is wearing a boutonniere, the best man should wear one too. Finally, select comfortable, black, calfskin laced shoes to wear with the suits.

Write the best man's speech

As the best man, you will be the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante. You will be responsible for supporting the groom during the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. You will also be the point of contact for the groomsmen and other members of the groom's side.

The best man's speech is one of the most important duties and a highlight of the wedding reception. It is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. A great toast can be an emotional moment for the couple and the guests. Here is a guide on how to write a memorable best man's speech:

Preparation

Before you begin writing, it is a good idea to do a free write—write down all your thoughts, feelings, memories, and stories about the groom. If you are struggling to remember specific details, ask mutual friends if they recall any great stories. Once you have a good idea of the content, use a template as a guide to help you structure your speech.

Structure

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression. Begin with a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone. End with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Content

The best man's speech should be funnier and lighter than the maid of honor's speech, which tends to be more emotional. Share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing stories and experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. It is also important to express what the groom means to you—why he chose you to be his best man.

Delivery

Practice your speech as much as possible. Rehearse it in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to help you refine your delivery and build your confidence. Remember to breathe and visualise yourself as a great speaker.

Other Tips

• Keep your speech concise and focused on celebrating the couple's relationship.
• Include the bride in your stories, ideally in a positive light.
• Avoid inside jokes and inappropriate jokes.
• Connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, using hand gestures, and speaking clearly.
• Aim for a speech duration of 4-7 minutes.
• Make sure to address the couple directly and wish them a happy future and life together.
• Conclude with a toast—ask everyone to raise their glasses and say, "to the couple."

Keep the wedding rings safe

Keeping the wedding rings safe is one of the most important responsibilities of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure the rings are secure:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you will likely be entrusted with the wedding rings in the lead-up to the big day. Make sure you find a safe place to store them, such as a locked box or a secure drawer. It is also a good idea to double-check that you can easily access the rings on the wedding day and that they are not accidentally locked away or misplaced.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, you will need to keep the rings with you at all times. Make sure your pockets don't have holes, and consider bringing a small bag or pouch to store the rings safely. If there is a ring bearer, you will need to fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to you for safekeeping until it is time for the vows.

During the Ceremony

During the ceremony, you will need to be ready to hand over the rings at the right moment. Stay alert and keep the rings easily accessible so that you are not fumbling around when it is time to exchange vows. If the groom is putting the ring on his partner's finger, hand it to him at the appropriate time.

After the Vows

After the ring exchange, make sure the wedding bands are securely back in your possession until the end of the ceremony. You may also be asked to hold on to other valuable items, such as the couple's phones or wallets, so be prepared to keep track of multiple important items.

Remember, keeping the wedding rings safe is a huge responsibility, and it is crucial that you remain vigilant and organised throughout the entire process.

Assist the groom on the wedding day

Being the best man is an honour and a privilege, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Here are some ways you can assist the groom on his wedding day:

Before the Wedding Day

Firstly, it's important to establish open lines of communication with the groom, the maid of honour, and the rest of the wedding party. You should also be aware of the groom's expectations and duties for you. In the months leading up to the wedding, you can help the groom with selecting and purchasing or renting wedding attire for himself and the groomsmen. You can also assist with other wedding planning tasks, such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules.

One of your main responsibilities will be to plan the bachelor party, consulting with the groom to ensure the event aligns with his wishes. You may also be in charge of collecting money from the groomsmen and purchasing a gift for the groom.

On the Wedding Day

On the wedding day, your main priority is to ensure the groom and groomsmen arrive at the venue on time. You will also need to keep an eye on the clock throughout the day to make sure everyone is where they need to be at the right time. Help the groom with any last-minute tasks, such as getting dressed, and be a source of emotional support. You may also be asked to hold the wedding rings, the groom's personal items (e.g. phone, wallet), and even the groom's vows.

During the Ceremony

Before the ceremony, greet and welcome the arriving guests with the groom. You will then stand beside the groom at the altar during the processional, and may be required to present the rings during the exchange of vows.

During the Reception

At the reception, you will be expected to give a speech. This should be well-crafted, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story, and practised ahead of time. You may also be asked to act as the master of ceremonies, announcing key elements such as the couple's arrival, the speeches, and the cutting of the cake.

Throughout the reception, it's your job to ensure the guests are having a great time. You should be the first one on the dance floor and dance with the maid of honour, the bride, and other key relatives.

After the Wedding

After the wedding, you may be asked to help with returning hired items, such as suits, and taking care of wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon straight away. You can also assist the groom with writing thank-you notes to the guests.

Frequently asked questions