Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding vows are promises exchanged between partners during a wedding ceremony. They are not universal to marriage and are not necessary in most legal jurisdictions. The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church. The original wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, are:
> Groom: I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
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> Bride: I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
The wording of wedding vows varies according to the specific religion. For instance, in Jewish ceremonies, vows are only recited during the ring exchange, while Hindu weddings involve a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Vows are recited when the ring is given | "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel" |
| Vows are exchanged during the wedding ceremony | "I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful [wife/husband/partner], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life." |
| Vows are based on religion | "I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth/give thee my troth."] |
| Vows are a declaration of lifelong commitment, partnership, love, companionship, kindness, honesty, and patience | "I, _____, take you, _____, to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, [to love and to cherish], till death do us part, [according to God's holy law], in the presence of God I make this vow." |
| Vows are a promise to be there for each other through anything | "I, _____, take you, _____, to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." |
| Vows are a form of expression of inner love and devotion | "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, I promise to love and cherish you." |
| Vows are a blend of two hearts and a union of two lives into one | "I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." |
| Vows are a sacred expression of the desire to be united in marriage | "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." |
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What You'll Learn
'To have and to hold'
The phrase "to have and to hold" is a traditional part of wedding vows. It is a property rights legal phrase that defines the extent of interest granted or conveyed and the conditions affecting it. However, in the context of marriage vows, it is not a statement of ownership but instead refers to belonging together.
The traditional wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, include the phrase "to have and to hold" in the following way:
> I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, [to love and to cherish], till death [do us part], according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I [plight thee my troth/give thee my troth].
The groom and bride may use slightly different phrasing, with the groom pledging to "love and cherish", and the bride pledging to "love, cherish, and obey".
Since 2000, the normal vows in Common Worship have been:
> I, N, take you, N, to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.
The bride and groom may choose to replace the clause "to love and to cherish" with "to love, cherish, and obey" in the bride's vows.
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'For better, for worse'
The phrase "for better, for worse" is a staple of traditional wedding vows, which have been around for centuries. The exact wording varies depending on the religion and culture of the couple, but the core principles remain the same.
In the Christian tradition, the original wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, include the line: "I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, [to love and to cherish], till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I [plight thee my troth/give thee my troth]." The groom and bride may also say: "With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost."
In the Catholic tradition, the vows may take the following form: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." The priest then blesses the couple, saying: "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen."
In a Hindu wedding, the exchange of vows is known as the saptapadi, or the "seven steps," and typically follows the exchange of floral garlands. The couple walks around a ring of fire to honour Agni, the Hindu god of fire, and recites a set of seven vows.
In a Jewish wedding, there is typically no spoken exchange of vows. Instead, the key moments include the ring exchange and the Seven Blessings, often recited in Hebrew. During the ring exchange, the couple may say: "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel."
While the traditional vows are still popular, some couples choose to write their own, incorporating humour or personal anecdotes. However, the core principles of lifelong commitment, partnership, love, companionship, kindness, honesty, and patience remain the same.
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'For richer, for poorer'
The traditional wedding vow "for richer, for poorer" is a promise to stay committed to your partner through financial highs and lows. It is a pledge to support and stand by each other regardless of economic status or material possessions. This vow has been a part of wedding ceremonies for centuries and is rooted in the Christian tradition of marriage.
The phrase "for richer, for poorer" is often included in wedding vows exchanged by the couple during the ceremony. It is a declaration of their commitment to each other, promising to stay together and work together financially, regardless of their economic situation. This vow recognises that financial circumstances can change over time and asserts that their love and dedication will remain constant.
The inclusion of "for richer, for poorer" in wedding vows acknowledges that financial stability is not guaranteed and that couples may face economic challenges. By including this vow, the couple expresses their willingness to face these challenges together and support each other through difficult times. It symbolises a united front, where both individuals commit to contributing financially to the best of their abilities.
In the context of the full traditional vow, "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, [to love and to cherish], till death do us part," the "for richer, for poorer" segment stands as a pivotal element. It underscores the practical aspects of married life, acknowledging that financial matters will play a significant role in their journey together.
While the specific wording may vary, the essence of the "for richer, for poorer" vow remains consistent across different cultures and religions. For example, in Jewish weddings, the exchange of rings and the recitation of the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) take centre stage, with no spoken exchange of wedding vows. However, the underlying commitment to mutual support, including financial aspects, is inherent in the ceremony. Similarly, Hindu weddings include the exchange of floral garlands (Jai Mala) and the saptapadi, or "seven steps," where couples recite vows honouring the Hindu god of fire, Agni, which encompass themes of financial responsibility and prosperity.
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'In sickness and in health'
The phrase "in sickness and in health" is a well-known part of traditional wedding vows. It is a promise that the couple makes to stay together and support each other through both good and bad times, specifically mentioning health as a key aspect. This phrase is often followed by or accompanied by the phrase "till death do us part" or "until we are parted by death", emphasising the lifelong commitment being made.
The exact wording of wedding vows can vary depending on the couple's preferences, religious beliefs, and cultural background. However, the core meaning of "in sickness and in health" remains consistent across different traditions. For example, in traditional Catholic wedding vows, the phrase is often followed by a declaration of love and honour:
> "I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honour you all the days of my life."
In other traditions, such as Anglican and Quaker wedding vows, the phrase "to love and to cherish" is often included, emphasising the emotional and practical support that the couple promises to provide for each other throughout their marriage.
The phrase "in sickness and in health" is a powerful reminder that a marriage is a lifelong commitment that extends beyond just the good times. It acknowledges that illness, accidents, and other challenges may arise during the course of the marriage, but that the couple is dedicated to facing these obstacles together and supporting each other through them.
This part of the vow highlights the importance of selflessness and dedication in a marriage. By including this phrase, the couple is promising to prioritise their partner's well-being and stand by them through any health-related difficulties they may encounter. It is a profound and meaningful aspect of the wedding vows, often gaining even more significance as the marriage progresses and faces the inevitable challenges that life presents.
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'Till death do us part'
The phrase "till death do us part" is a well-known and enduring element of traditional wedding vows. While the exact wording may vary, this phrase captures the essence of a lifelong commitment between two people. The original wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, include these words:
> I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded Wife/Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight/give thee my troth.
The phrase "till death do us part" signifies a promise to remain together through all of life's challenges and joys until death separates them. It is a powerful statement of enduring love and dedication, acknowledging that the couple will face an unknown future together, come what may.
In some religious traditions, such as Jewish and Catholic ceremonies, the phrase "till death do us part" is also prevalent. For example, in a Jewish wedding, the groom may say, "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel," indicating a lifelong commitment. Similarly, in Catholic weddings, the vows often include the phrase "until death do us part" as a solemn pledge before God.
While modern couples may choose to write their own unique vows, the traditional phrase "till death do us part" remains a powerful testament to the enduring nature of marriage. It serves as a reminder that the couple is choosing to face life's journey together, embracing both the light and dark times, until death eventually separates them.
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