Jewish Wedding Vows: What Are They?

are their vows at a jewish wedding

Jewish wedding vows are steeped in symbolism and ritual. Traditionally, the husband “acquires” his wife by giving her a ring or another object of value and stating a halakhic (legal) formula that formalizes the marriage. The most common form for centuries was a very short statement, spoken only by the groom, when placing the ring on the bride's finger. Today, modern couples often prefer to update the ritual to be more egalitarian, with the woman also giving the man a ring and speaking a vow or other biblical phrase.

Characteristics Values
Wedding vows No spoken exchange of vows
Wedding vows format Very short statement by the groom
Groom's statement "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel"
Modern wedding vows Couples have flexibility in what they recite
Modern wedding vows format More egalitarian
Modern groom's statement "Behold, you are holy to me"
Ketubah A legal contract protecting the wife financially
A mutual statement of commitment and aspiration
Kiddushin Groom's demonstration of commitment to the bride
Nissuin The wedding ceremony
Sheva Brachot Seven blessings recited under the chuppah
Chuppah The wedding canopy
Ring exchange Symbolic gift of a ring or object of value

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Jewish wedding vows are customarily sealed when the groom gives the bride a ring

The groom would traditionally say a short sentence as he placed the ring on the bride's finger: "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel." Modern couples often prefer to update this ritual to be more egalitarian, and some couples now choose to write their own vows.

The ketubah, which was originally a legal contract protecting the wife financially, can be reshaped as a loving statement of mutual commitment and aspiration. Couples may choose to have guests sign the ketubah as well, to draw everyone into the meaning of the event.

The wedding ceremony, with its marriage contract, traditional wedding vows, Chuppah rituals, and wedding feast, is a heartfelt expression of a couple's love and commitment. The Chuppah is the wedding canopy under which the couple stands during the ceremony. The Chuppah is also the name of the first stage of the Jewish wedding process, kiddushin, which means "betrothal" or "sanctification". The second stage, nissuin, is when the couple starts their life together.

The Meaning of Wedding Vows

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The ketubah, a written marriage contract, is signed at the wedding with witnesses

The ketubah is a written marriage contract that is signed during a Jewish wedding ceremony. It is witnessed and later serves as a source of inspiration for the couple throughout their married life.

The ketubah traditionally served as a legal contract, protecting the wife financially. It was a promise by the groom to compensate the bride financially in the event that he divorced her (although she was not permitted to divorce him). The groom would seal the marriage by placing a ring on the bride's finger and saying: "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel".

In modern times, the ketubah has evolved to become a mutual statement of commitment and aspiration. Couples may choose to involve their guests in the process, having them sign the ketubah as well. The ketubah is usually read out during the wedding ceremony, and it can be a meaningful way to involve guests in the celebration of the couple's union.

The act of signing the ketubah is a significant part of the Jewish wedding process, which consists of two distinct stages: kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). The ketubah is signed during the first stage, kiddushin, when the couple becomes officially betrothed and the wife becomes prohibited to all other men. The second stage, nissuin, is when the couple starts their life together as husband and wife.

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The groom says: Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring, according to the laws of Moses and Israel

In traditional Jewish wedding ceremonies, the groom says to the bride, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring, according to the laws of Moses and Israel." This declaration is a part of the Jewish wedding vows and is a significant element of the Jewish marriage ritual.

The phrase "according to the laws of Moses and Israel" refers to the Jewish legal system, which is based on the Torah, the five books of Moses, and the interpretations and elaborations of Jewish scholars and rabbis. By invoking these laws, the groom is not only recognising the religious and legal framework under which the marriage is being solemnised but also declaring that the marriage will be governed by these laws.

The act of giving a ring to the bride is a symbolic gesture of the couple's commitment and love for each other. The ring is typically made of solid gold, with no gems or diamonds, to symbolise the purity and simplicity of the union. The use of gold specifically is also significant, as it is a durable and valuable metal, representing the strength and value of the marriage covenant.

The phrase "you are consecrated to me" is a powerful statement of dedication and exclusivity. In the context of Jewish law, consecration implies a setting apart for a sacred purpose. By saying these words, the groom is declaring that the bride is now set apart for him alone, and their relationship is sanctified and blessed under Jewish law.

This part of the vow is spoken by the groom during the wedding ceremony, often after the bride has circled him three or seven times, symbolising the creation of a new, sacred space for their marriage. The vow is a pivotal moment in the ceremony, marking the legal and spiritual union of the couple according to Jewish tradition. It is followed by other traditional elements, such as the breaking of the glass, which concludes the ceremony and marks the beginning of the celebration.

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The bride traditionally walks around the groom three or seven times when she arrives at the chuppah

In Jewish weddings, the bride traditionally walks around the groom three or seven times when she arrives at the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy). This custom is practised in many Orthodox Jewish communities and some Ashkenazi communities.

The exact number of circuits varies between communities, with some brides walking three times and others seven. The three circuits may represent the three virtues of marriage: righteousness, justice, and loving kindness, as mentioned in Hosea 2:19. The seventh circuit is said to derive from the Biblical concept that seven denotes perfection or completeness.

The act of circling symbolises the bride's new series of relationships, with her husband at the centre and her parents at the periphery. It also represents the groom's three biblically mandated obligations to his wife: sustenance, clothing, and intimate relations. The bride's circling action is also said to bring down any walls that may separate the couple, mirroring the story of the Jewish people circling the walls of Jericho seven times before they fell.

The origin of this custom is rooted in Jeremiah 31:22, which states, "A woman shall surround a man". This verse is interpreted as portraying a woman as a protective wall for her husband, guarding him from harmful influences and foolishness.

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The Sheva Brachot, or the Seven Blessings, are recited under the chuppah and again after the meal

The Sheva Brachot, or the Seven Blessings, are an integral part of Jewish weddings. These blessings are recited twice: first under the chuppah and again after the wedding meal. The chuppah, or the wedding canopy, is a significant element of Jewish weddings, symbolising the couple's new home and the sanctity of their union. Under the chuppah, the couple exchanges traditional wedding vows, which serve as a marriage contract and a testament to their love and commitment.

The Sheva Brachot embodies the core values of Jewish tradition, including joy, love, companionship, peace, and the creation of a new home. The blessings are usually recited by the Rabbi, but in some cases, close friends or family members may be honoured with this task, especially in interfaith weddings. This recitation is a joyous and meaningful moment that reinforces the couple's commitment to each other and their shared heritage.

The specific blessings included in the Sheva Brachot vary, but they typically encompass themes of love, joy, and the sanctity of marriage. For example, one blessing may be "Blessed are You, LORD, Gladdener of groom and bride". The blessings are often customised to reflect the couple's unique relationship and their spiritual journey together.

While traditional Jewish weddings do not include spoken vows, modern couples have introduced their own vows to make the ceremony more egalitarian and personalised. Some couples may choose to incorporate non-traditional vows, such as "through thick and thin" or "in sickness and in health," to express their dedication to each other.

In addition to the Sheva Brachot, there are other rituals under the chuppah that seal the marriage. The ring exchange, for instance, holds symbolic value, with the groom traditionally saying, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel." This statement, known as the ketubah, has evolved from a legal contract protecting the wife financially to a mutual expression of commitment and aspiration.

Frequently asked questions

No, there is no spoken exchange of wedding vows at a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. However, modern couples have begun adding their own vows to their ceremony.

In Jewish tradition, wedding vows are steeped in symbolism and ritual. The husband "acquires" his wife by giving her something of value, usually a ring, and stating a halakhic (legal) formula that formalizes the marriage. The most common form for centuries was a very short statement made only by the groom when placing the ring on the bride's finger.

The ring symbolizes a business transaction in which the groom acquires the bride as a possession and has to give something of value in return. The bride was not allowed to divorce the groom, but the ketubah, or written marriage contract, signed at the wedding with witnesses, promised financial recompense to the bride in the event of divorce.

Traditional wedding vows, given under the chuppah (the wedding canopy), are a marriage contract, a commitment, an affirmation of love and loyalty, and a testament to the sanctity of the bond of marriage. Here is an example of a traditional vow made by the groom: "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel".

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