The Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with supporting the groom during the wedding-planning process and on the big day itself. The role is usually given to a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a brother. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, giving a speech at the reception, assisting with the groom's attire, and keeping the wedding rings safe. The best man may also be responsible for coordinating the groomsmen, acting as a point of contact, and providing emotional support to the groom. While the specific duties may vary depending on the couple's needs and the size of the wedding party, the best man plays a crucial role in ensuring the groom's special day runs smoothly.

Organise the stag do

Organising the stag do is one of the most important duties of a best man. Here are some tips to help you plan an epic celebration:

Start Planning Early

The earlier you start planning, the less stressful it will be and the better the stag do will be. Ask the groom for a list of people he wants to attend and get a date in the diary as soon as possible. Creating a group chat with all the guests can make it easier to communicate and keep track of everyone's availability.

Consider the Budget

When planning the stag do, it's important to consider everyone's budget. While a blowout in Vegas might sound amazing, it's only worth it if everyone can afford to go. A stag do closer to home or a more budget-friendly option might be a better choice to ensure everyone can participate.

Choose a Date

Try to pick a date that is at least a month before the wedding. This will give everyone time to recover and look their best for the wedding day.

Personalise the Stag Do

Think of ways to personalise the celebration, such as including the best stag party games or funny pranks (nothing that will get the groom arrested, though!).

Keep the Groom's Tastes in Mind

While planning, always put the groom first and make sure that whatever you organise is to his taste.

Stay Organised

Create a checklist or timeline to stay on top of your responsibilities, including planning the stag do.

Offer to Help

In addition to planning the stag do, offer your services to the bride and groom for any other wedding planning duties. They may appreciate your help with tasks such as finding wedding transport or contacting suppliers.

Be the Life of the Party

As the best man, you will be expected to get the party started at the wedding. However, it's important to remember not to get too drunk—you don't want to embarrass the groom or miss out on any memories of this special event.

Give a best man's speech

Giving a best man's speech is one of the most important duties of a best man. It is also one of the most challenging tasks, so it's a good idea to start working on it months in advance. Here are some tips to help you deliver a great speech:

Preparation

First, decide on the tone of your speech. While it's okay to be a little cheeky, remember that older relatives will be in the audience, so avoid sexual or very embarrassing stories. Run your speech by a trusted person to make sure it's appropriate.

Next, create an outline for your speech. Start by introducing yourself, then share a positive or feel-good story about the groom. You can also poke gentle fun at the groom, but keep it light and good-natured. Talk about how wonderful the bride is and how well-suited they are as a couple. If you'd like, you can also mention any guests who have travelled a long way to be there or who are celebrating birthdays.

Finally, practise your speech ahead of time so that you feel comfortable and confident delivering it on the day.

Delivery

On the day of the wedding, remember to speak slowly and pause for laughter. Make sure to mention everyone who needs to be mentioned, and don't forget to wish the happy couple well.

Timing

Traditionally, the best man's speech comes last, after the father of the bride and the groom have spoken. However, it's becoming more common to have speeches before the meal so that the speakers can relax and enjoy their food afterwards. Make sure you're aware of the timing the couple has decided on.

Other Tips

• If you're nervous about speaking, consider hiring a professional to help you put your thoughts in order.
• Keep your speech short and sweet – around 1-2 minutes is a good length.
• If there is more than one best man, consider coming together to write and deliver a joint speech.
• If you're one of several best men, you might each be assigned a different task, such as giving a speech, acting as ring bearer, or being the master of ceremonies.
• If the couple has decided not to have a toastmaster or master of ceremonies, you may be asked to announce key moments like the couple's arrival, the speeches, and the cake-cutting.

Assist with attire

As the best man, you will be the groom's right-hand man and chief aide. You will be responsible for helping the groom choose and buy or rent his wedding attire, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. This may include gathering measurements, setting order deadlines, and placing the order.

You will also be in charge of helping the groom get ready on the morning of the wedding. This includes ensuring his suit and tie, cravat or bow tie are perfect, and that he has the right shoes on. You may also be responsible for delivering a letter to the groom's future spouse, and making sure he eats and drinks enough (including water!).

You may also want to put together an emergency kit for the groom and groomsmen, with items such as extra cufflinks, shoe polish, or an extra tie.

In the lead-up to the wedding, you will need to assist the groom and groomsmen with their final suit selections and any last-minute fittings.

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you fulfil this responsibility with ease:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you should offer to take on this task and confirm with the couple that you will be in charge of holding the rings. This will give the couple peace of mind, knowing that someone responsible is taking care of this crucial aspect. It is also a good idea to familiarise yourself with the wedding bands and ensure they are the correct size for the bride and groom. This will avoid any mishaps during the ring exchange.

On the Wedding Day

Your primary focus for the day is to ensure the rings are safe and easily accessible when needed. Keep the rings in a secure pocket or pouch, and triple-check that your pockets don't have any holes! If there is a ring bearer, you will need to fasten the rings to the pillow before the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to you for safekeeping until the officiant requests them.

During the Ceremony

Be mindful of the timing during the ceremony. When the officiant is ready for the ring exchange, smoothly and confidently produce the rings. If the rings are on a pillow, gently remove them and hand them to the couple as required. If there is no ring bearer, simply hold onto the rings until the couple is ready to exchange them.

After the Ring Exchange

Once the rings have been exchanged, your responsibility for their safekeeping is complete. You can now relax and enjoy the rest of the ceremony and reception, knowing you played a vital role in the success of the wedding.

Remember, holding the wedding rings is a great honour and a significant duty. By following these simple steps, you will ensure that this aspect of the wedding runs smoothly and creates lasting memories for the happy couple.

Act as the groom's right-hand man

Acting as the groom's right-hand man is one of the most important duties of the best man. The best man is the groom's go-to person and confidant throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man should be the groom's main support system. This involves providing emotional support and being a sounding board for any nerves or anxiety the groom may be feeling. The best man should also help the groom with any planning admin, such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules.

On the wedding day, the best man's role as the groom's right-hand man becomes even more crucial. The best man should help the groom get ready in the morning and ensure he arrives at the venue on time. He should also assist the groom with any last-minute tasks and be a source of calm and positive energy.

Throughout the day, the best man should make sure the groom stays hydrated and has something to eat, especially if it's a busy day with lots of activities. The best man may also be responsible for holding the groom's phone and other personal items, such as his wallet, so that the groom can focus on the celebrations.

The best man should also be prepared to step in and help with any issues or problems that may arise. Having the wedding planner's contact details can be useful for this. Ultimately, the best man's role is to ensure the groom is as stress-free as possible and can fully enjoy his wedding day.

Frequently asked questions