The Best Man's Guide To Wedding Etiquette

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a significant responsibility. The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative, and their role is to act as the groom's right-hand man throughout the planning process and on the wedding day. The role involves a variety of duties, from planning the stag do and giving a speech, to helping the groom get ready and keeping the wedding rings safe. The best man is also expected to be a source of emotional support for the groom and to provide assistance with any tasks that need doing, such as choosing the groomsmen's attire and coordinating with the other wedding party members. In short, the best man is there to ensure that the groom's big day goes smoothly and is as stress-free as possible.

Planning the bachelor party

Discuss the Details with the Groom:

Before you start planning, consult the groom about his preferences, wishes, and guest list. This is his special day, so make sure the event is tailored to his interests.

Choose a Date:

The bachelor party usually takes place one to three months before the wedding. Pick two or three potential dates and check with the guest list to see which one works best for everyone.

Create a Budget:

Discuss the budget with the groom and other groomsmen. Consider everyone's financial situation to ensure the event is affordable for all. The costs will depend on the location, activities, food, drinks, and accommodation.

Select a Location:

The location can be somewhere close to home or a destination event. If you're planning a trip, consider everyone's budget and try to book accommodations and transportation in advance to get better deals.

Invite the Guests:

Traditionally, the guest list includes the groomsmen, the groom's close male friends, and family members. However, the groom may want to include others who are close to him. Make sure to clear the guest list with the groom, and ensure that all attendees are also invited to the wedding.

Plan the Activities:

The activities should reflect the groom's interests. This could be anything from golfing, chartering a boat, or attending a sporting event or concert. Plan two to three group outings, but also leave some downtime for relaxation and bonding.

Handle the Logistics:

Book any necessary reservations, transportation, and accommodations. If there are restaurants or activities involved, try to make reservations in advance.

Communicate the Details:

Share the date, location, and itinerary with the guests. Use group chats or emails to keep everyone informed and organized.

Finalize the Plans:

In the weeks leading up to the bachelor party, confirm all the arrangements and send reminders to the guests.

Enjoy the Celebration:

Remember, this event is all about the groom. Make sure he has a fantastic time and create lasting memories together!

Planning a bachelor party can be a fun and rewarding experience. By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to organizing an unforgettable celebration for the groom-to-be.

Writing and delivering a speech

Writing and delivering a best man's speech can be nerve-wracking, but it's also a tremendous honour. Here are some tips to help you craft and deliver a memorable speech.

Writing the Speech

Start by deciding on a theme that ties your speech together. This could be a funny anecdote, a sentimental story, or a mix of both. Focus on the couple, especially the groom, rather than making the speech about yourself. You can include a story or two about your friendship with the groom, but don't centre the whole speech on it.

Keep the speech lighthearted and positive, and avoid inappropriate or embarrassing topics, such as the groom's past relationships, drugs, alcohol, or personal insecurities. If you're unsure about a story or joke, it's best to leave it out. You can also ask a friend for feedback before the big day.

Keep the speech concise. Three to five minutes is a good length, and definitely no longer than ten minutes.

Delivering the Speech

Practise your speech beforehand, and consider memorising it. It's also a good idea to have some notes with you, just in case.

Use open body language and make eye contact with the crowd. Try to relax and be yourself. If you're not usually the funny one in the group, don't force it. It's more important to be genuine and speak from the heart.

If you're nervous, take a few deep breaths before you begin. Remember, everyone wants you to do well, and you'll be done before you know it!

Helping the groom get ready

On the morning of the wedding, the best man should take delivery of any buttonholes and hand them out to the groomsmen and other ushers. They should also keep an eye on the clock, so time doesn't get away from them. This is especially important as the groom will be focusing on himself (as he should be).

The best man should also organise any younger page boys or junior ushers who may need help with their outfits or general looking after.

If the best man is the ring bearer, they should ensure they have the rings to hand, ready for when the couple exchanges them. If not, they should make sure the ring bearer has the rings ahead of the ceremony.

The best man should also be prepared to hold the couple's personal items, such as their phones or money.

The best man should ensure the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Once there, the best man should stand by the groom's side to welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere before the ceremony commences.

Holding the rings

However, there is no set rule about who holds the rings. The groom may hold onto the rings, or the best man may hold one ring while the Maid of Honour holds the other. The rings may also be given to the officiant to hold, or to another trusted adult such as a parent or sibling.

If there is a ring bearer, they will usually walk down the aisle with the rings and hand them to the best man when they reach the altar. The best man will then hand the rings to the couple during the ceremony when it is time for the couple to exchange them.

Greeting guests

Greeting the guests is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you greet the guests in a warm and welcoming manner:

Be there to welcome the guests with the groom

As the best man, you should ensure that the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Once there, stand by the groom's side to welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere before the ceremony commences. This is a great way to kickstart the celebrations and make the guests feel comfortable.

Establish eye contact

Eye contact is a simple yet powerful way to make guests feel recognised and valued. It helps to put people at ease and establishes a connection from the very beginning. Make sure to maintain eye contact as you engage in conversation, as it reinforces the sense of connection and makes guests feel valued.

Offer a smile

A warm smile can go a long way in making guests feel welcomed and appreciated. It's a simple gesture that can brighten someone's day, especially after a long journey. Combine it with a friendly greeting, and you're sure to create a positive first impression.

Be cordial, even if you're busy

The wedding day can be hectic, but it's important to remain cordial and polite to the guests at all times. If you're busy, let them know that you'll be with them as soon as possible. This reassures them and makes them feel valued, even if there's a bit of a wait.

Make guests feel special

Take the time to acknowledge any birthdays, anniversaries, or other special occasions your guests may be celebrating. A simple recognition of their special day can go a long way in making them feel extra special. You can even take it a step further by arranging a small gift or surprise for them, like a bottle of champagne or flowers in their room.

Provide helpful information

Make your guests feel at home by providing them with useful information about the venue and its amenities. Let them know about important points of interest, such as the bar, restaurant, pool, or other services offered. This not only helps them navigate the venue but also subtly promotes the available facilities in a non-pushy way.

Anticipate their questions

Think ahead and try to anticipate the questions guests may have. Address common concerns, such as parking, transportation, or venue facilities. By providing answers to their unasked questions, you make guests feel understood and taken care of. It's a great way to make a positive impression and enhance their overall experience.

Offer assistance

Be attentive to your guests' needs and offer assistance whenever possible. This could be helping with their luggage, offering a tour of the venue, or simply providing directions. Going the extra mile to ensure their comfort will leave a lasting impression.

Be mindful of cultural sensitivity

It's important to be culturally sensitive and neutral in your greetings. Avoid physical contact if it might make guests uncomfortable, and be mindful of any language barriers. Greeting guests in their native language, if possible, can make them feel especially welcomed and respected.

Frequently asked questions