Groomsmen Gifts And Duties: The Ultimate Best Man Guide

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to for help and support throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

Before the wedding, the best man is in charge of organising the bachelor party, coordinating the groomsmen's attire, and acting as the groom's confidant. During the wedding, the best man should help the groom get ready, keep everyone on schedule, hold the wedding rings, and assist with guests. The best man also stands by the groom during the ceremony, signs the marriage certificate as a witness, and escorts the maid of honour during the recessional. After the wedding, the best man may help with returning rented attire, decorating the newlyweds' car, and organising and safekeeping gifts.

The best man also has the important role of giving a speech during the reception, where he can share stories about the groom and offer well-wishes to the newlyweds. Overall, the best man's main duty is to ensure that the groom's wedding day is one of the greatest days of his life.

Planning the bachelor party

Start Planning Early

It's never too early to start planning the bachelor party. The earlier you start, the less stressful it will be, and the better the party will be. Ask the groom for a list of people he wants to invite and get a date in the diary as soon as possible.

Consider the Budget

It's important to consider everyone's budget when planning a bachelor party. While it's the duty of all the groomsmen to plan an amazing bachelor party, it's the best man's job to take the lead in coordinating the costs. Send out messages with the costs you have and the ones you anticipate, and ask individually if anyone has any issues.

Choose a Location and Activities

When choosing a location and activities, make sure to consider the groom's interests. For example, if the groom is a craft beer aficionado, book a private tour of a local brewery or distillery. If he's into sports, buy tickets to a game. If he's into music, buy tickets to a concert or music festival.

Keep the Groom's Wishes in Mind

While it's important to consider the budgets and preferences of the groomsmen, the most important thing is to ensure that whatever you organise is to the groom's taste. Try to throw the bachelor party at least a month before the wedding so that everyone has time to recover and look their best on the day.

Cover the Groom's Expenses

It's traditional for the best man to divvy up the costs so that the groom's expenses are covered.

Plan Some Downtime

Bachelor parties don't have to be jam-packed with activities. Avoid cramming in too many events and make sure to schedule ample downtime.

Consult the Groom

If you're unsure about any aspect of the bachelor party, such as whether to include adult entertainment, consult the groom. This party is for him, so his wishes are the most important.

Holding the rings

There are a few options for how the best man can carry the rings. The most traditional way is for the best man to carry both rings in a ring box in his pocket. This ensures the rings are secure and don't get lost, although it can be tricky to retrieve them quickly during the ceremony. Another option is for the best man to wear one ring on his little finger, so it can be easily and discreetly handed over when the time comes. If there is a ring bearer, they can carry the rings down the aisle and then hand them to the best man when they reach the altar.

It is also possible for the groom to hold onto the rings, or for the best man to hold one ring and the maid of honour to hold the other. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide who they trust to carry out this important task.

Giving a speech

Preparation

Before you start writing your speech, it's a good idea to write down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. This will help you gather your ideas and ensure you don't forget anything important. Using a template as a guide can also be helpful, especially if you've never given a best man's speech before.

Opening and Closing

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression. Start with a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone. End with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Content

The content of your speech should focus on the groom and his new spouse. Share stories and experiences that are entertaining and universal, avoiding inside jokes that only a few guests will understand. Include playful jokes at the groom's expense but ground them in more sentimental themes. Talk about what the groom means to you and express your happiness for his marriage.

Delivery

Practising your speech as much as possible is essential for a confident delivery. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to refine your delivery and familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Calming techniques such as deep breathing and visualisation can also help ease nerves before and during your speech.

Connection

Remember to connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, and using hand gestures. Even the best speech will lose its impact if you're looking at the ground and mumbling. Aim for a speech duration of around 4-7 minutes, as shorter speeches are generally better received.

Conclude your speech by addressing the happy couple directly and wishing them a happy future together. Then, make the toast, asking everyone to raise their glasses to the newlyweds.

Additional Tips

• Include personal touches and experiences in your speech.
• Keep the speech positive, focusing on uplifting and humorous elements.
• Be mindful of the audience and keep the speech appropriate for all ages.
• Keep it short and sweet, focusing on the couple rather than your relationship with the groom.
• Include the bride in your stories, ideally in a positive light.
• Avoid bromance speeches and inside jokes—save those for the bachelor party!

Acting as a witness

The best man is one of the two witnesses required to sign the marriage license to make the marriage official. The other witness is the maid of honour. The best man should ensure that he is in the right place at the right time for this important task, which may take place before or after the ceremony. The marriage license is extremely important; without it, the couple isn't actually married!

The best man also acts as a witness to the couple's vows and ring exchange, holding onto the wedding rings until it is time for the couple to exchange them. This act conveys the trust and responsibility instilled in the best man by the bride and groom.

The best man's presence during the ceremony is also symbolic. Standing next to the groom during the ceremony shows the best man's place of honour by the groom's side as he takes this important step into married life.

Being the groom's right-hand man

Before the Wedding:

• Help choose the suits: Assist the groom and the groomsmen in selecting their wedding attire. Discuss ideas with the couple about the style and whether the suits will be bought or hired.
• Meet the ushers: Get to know the other groomsmen and the specific duties they will perform. This is also a great opportunity to bond with the wedding party.
• Liaise with the maid of honour: Touch base with the maid of honour to coordinate any details that will be useful on the day, such as large umbrellas in case of bad weather or gifts for the couple.
• Help with planning: Although not a traditional duty, you can offer to assist the groom with logistical tasks like booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules.
• Plan the stag do: Organise the groom's last night of freedom before married life. Check with the groom for a guest list, preferred dates, and locations. Try to plan it at least a month before the wedding so everyone has time to recover.
• Write your speech: Craft a well-thought-out and practised best man's speech. It's a good idea to start working on this months in advance to ensure it's perfect for the big day.
• Organise a groomsmen gift: Present the groom with a sentimental gift from his groomsmen.
• Final fittings: Keep an eye on any last-minute suit fittings that the groom or groomsmen might need.
• Check in with the groom: Take time to connect with the groom and be a sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety he may be feeling.
• Help with the pre-wedding set-up: Pick up and deliver any hired items, such as suits, and assist with setting up the venue.

On the Wedding Day:

• Help the groom get ready: Be there for the groom on the morning of the wedding and assist with any last-minute tasks.
• Organise the ushers: On the wedding day, be the point of contact for the other groomsmen and help organise them.
• Keep the rings safe: One of the most important duties is to ensure the wedding rings are safe and ready for the ceremony.
• Greet the guests: Stand by the groom's side and welcome the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.
• Stand at the altar: Before the ceremony, take your place on the front right-hand side of the room with the groom.
• Escort the maid of honour: After the ceremony, escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newlyweds.
• Stand in the receiving line: If the couple chooses to have a receiving line, greet the guests as a key part of the wedding party.
• Help organise wedding photographs: Work with the ushers to round up guests for group photos and appear in them as well.
• Be the master of ceremonies: If there is no dedicated master of ceremonies, you may be asked to announce key moments, such as the couple's arrival, speeches, and cake-cutting.
• Deliver your speech: Give a well-crafted and practised best man's speech.
• Get the party started: After the first dance, it's tradition for the best man to dance with the maid of honour and encourage everyone onto the dance floor.

After the Wedding:

• Return and clean suits: Help round up and return any hired items, such as suits, and take care of dry-cleaning if needed.
• Take care of wedding gifts: Safely store the wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately after the wedding. Ensure all gifts, cards, and keepsakes are collected and delivered to the couple.

Remember, being the best man is about supporting the groom and ensuring he has a memorable day. Stay organised, be the groom's confidant, and enjoy the experience!

Frequently asked questions