Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, confidant, and emotional rock throughout the entire wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or family member and is responsible for a variety of tasks, from providing emotional support to the groom to planning the bachelor party and giving a memorable speech at the reception.

The best man also plays a key role in coordinating the groomsmen, ensuring they are informed, organised, and on schedule. This includes helping the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire and making sure everyone orders or rents their outfits on time.

Additionally, the best man may be asked to hold the wedding rings during the ceremony, act as a witness to the marriage, and even decorate the getaway car for the newlyweds.

In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man should be prepared to lend a hand wherever needed, from assisting with administrative tasks to attending pre-wedding events and rehearsals.

On the wedding day, the best man's duties include supporting the groom as he gets ready, greeting guests, and ensuring the groom and groomsmen arrive at the venue on time.

Overall, the best man plays a crucial role in making sure the groom's wishes are fulfilled and that the wedding runs smoothly, all while creating special memories for the happy couple.

Help choose the suits and keep the groomsmen on schedule

As the best man, you'll be the official "leader" of the groomsmen, so it's your responsibility to ensure that everyone orders their attire in a timely fashion and that all the groomsmen's suits are received and tailored. You'll also be in charge of collecting payment from everyone if you're renting or purchasing suits as a group.

Choosing the Suits

• Discuss suit ideas with the couple and decide whether the suits will be bought or hired. If financial contributions are required, ensure this is communicated clearly and upfront with the groomsmen.
• Choose a suit style and colour that complements the wedding theme and colour scheme. For example, if the wedding is formal and black-tie, opt for tuxedos. For a rustic barn wedding, consider more casual suits.
• If the groomsmen are wearing the same colour, you can make the groom stand out by choosing a different shade or style for him. Alternatively, the groom can opt for a wild pattern or a double-breasted suit.
• Consider the comfort of the groomsmen, especially in warmer weather. Lighter-weight fabrics or cooling accessories can help beat the heat.
• Order the suits at least 4 to 6 months in advance to allow time for fittings, alterations, and any necessary exchanges or returns.
• When the suits arrive, organise a time for everyone to try them on and check if any alterations are needed.

Keeping the Groomsmen on Schedule

• Create a timeline of the wedding day's events and share it with the groomsmen.
• On the morning of the wedding, play music, offer drinks, and create a relaxed and upbeat atmosphere.
• Keep an eye on the clock to ensure everyone is ready and arrives at the venue on time.
• During the ceremony and reception, gently guide the groomsmen to ensure they are in the right place at the right time.
• If any of the groomsmen are running late or falling behind schedule, kindly remind them to stay on track.

Remember, clear and timely communication is key to ensuring everyone is on the same page and that things run smoothly on the big day!

Plan the bachelor party

Planning the bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. It's a chance to celebrate the groom's last days as a single man and should be a memorable occasion for him and the rest of the groomsmen.

Planning the Bachelor Party:

Consult the Groom:

Before you start planning, talk to the groom about his vision for the party. Does he want to travel or stay local? Does he want a wild party or something more low-key? It's important to plan an event that suits the groom's style and preferences.

Work with the Groomsmen:

Planning the bachelor party is not a one-man job. Recruit the other groomsmen to help with logistics and ideas. They can also provide support in planning and executing the event.

Choose a Date and Location:

Pick a date that works for everyone, especially the groom and the groomsmen. If you're planning a weekend getaway, consider everyone's schedules and budgets to ensure that no one is left out due to financial constraints.

Plan Activities:

The activities you choose will depend on the groom's interests and the overall tone of the party. It could be a night out on the town, a golf outing, a whiskey distillery tour, or even a trip to Vegas. The key is to plan something that the groom will enjoy and ensure that everyone has a great time.

Send Invitations:

Finalise the guest list in consultation with the groom and send out invitations well in advance, especially if the bachelor party involves travel. This will allow guests to make the necessary arrangements and give them something to look forward to.

Manage Logistics:

Take care of all the practical details, such as transportation, accommodations, and any special arrangements needed for the event. Ensure that everyone knows where to be and when, and don't forget to remind them of any necessary items to bring.

Keep it Safe and Smooth:

As the best man, it's your responsibility to ensure that the bachelor party goes smoothly. This includes making sure that no one drinks and drives, and that everyone has a good time. Be prepared to handle any potential issues that may arise, and always prioritise the groom's safety and enjoyment.

After the Bachelor Party:

Clean Up and Return Items:

If there are any rented items or decorations used for the bachelor party, make sure they are returned and properly cleaned. This is especially important for tuxedos or suits, as they often need to be returned promptly and in good condition.

Share Photos and Memories:

Encourage the groomsmen and guests to share photos and memories from the bachelor party. This will extend the joy of the event and provide the groom with lasting memories of his special celebration.

Planning the bachelor party is a fun and important part of being a best man. It's a chance to create unique and memorable experiences for the groom and his friends, so enjoy the process and don't be afraid to ask for help when needed!

Act as the groom's confidant and emotional support

Being the best man is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. One of the most important duties is to act as the groom's confidant and provide emotional support. Here are some ways to ensure you're there for the groom:

Be a Sounding Board

The groom will likely experience a range of emotions during the wedding planning process. As the best man, you should be a sounding board for any nerves, anxieties, or confessions he may have. Be patient, non-judgmental, and reassuring. Your role is to provide a listening ear and help keep the groom focused and positive in the lead-up to the big day.

Check in Regularly

Don't wait for the groom to come to you with his concerns. Be proactive and check in with him regularly. See how he's doing and if there's anything you can help with. This is especially important in the days leading up to the wedding, as the stress and excitement build.

Offer a Calm Presence

Weddings can be stressful, and it's the best man's job to help keep the groom calm and relaxed. Be a source of peace and positivity. If the groom is feeling nervous on the morning of the wedding, do what you can to ease his nerves. Play music, crack open a beer, or suggest a fun activity to help take his mind off any worries.

Provide Moral Support

The best man should offer moral support throughout the entire process, even if wedding planning isn't your thing. This includes being involved in decision-making and problem-solving. Remember, your role is to support the groom and be his rock, so be prepared to step up and provide a helping hand whenever needed.

Be Present at Pre-Wedding Events

Attend as many pre-wedding events as possible, including the engagement party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. These events are important for bonding with the wedding party and the couple's families. They also provide an opportunity to offer support and assistance to the groom during a potentially stressful time.

Help with Ring Selection

Even before you're officially named the best man, the groom may ask for your help in selecting an engagement ring. Provide your honest opinion and be a voice of reason during this potentially stressful process.

Remember, being the groom's confidant and emotional support is about being there for him whenever he needs it. Be proactive, patient, and positive, and you'll help ensure the groom has a fantastic experience leading up to his special day.

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you ace this responsibility:

Before the Wedding

It is a good idea to discuss with the couple where and how they would like you to store the rings before the wedding. You could suggest keeping them in a safe place, such as your inner jacket pocket, and checking that your pocket doesn't have any holes. If there is a ring bearer, you will also need to fasten the rings to the pillow they will be carried on.

During the Wedding

As the best man, you will traditionally walk down the aisle after the groom and take your place standing closest to the groom at the altar. During the ceremony, you will be responsible for presenting the rings at the right moment. If there is a ring bearer, they will pass the rings to you once they reach the end of the aisle, and you will keep them safe until the couple is ready to exchange them.

After the Wedding

Once the couple has exchanged rings, your responsibility for keeping them safe is over. However, you may have other duties to perform after the wedding, such as signing the marriage license as a witness, giving a speech, and helping to collect and safe-keep gifts.

Give a best man speech

The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. It's an important part of the wedding reception, so careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery are key. Here's a guide to help you craft a memorable and meaningful best man speech:

Preparation:

Before you begin writing your speech, it's a good idea to brainstorm and jot down your thoughts, feelings, memories, and stories about the groom. This free-writing exercise will help you gather your ideas and ensure you don't forget anything important. Using a template as a guide can also be helpful, especially if you're unsure of where to start.

Opening and Closing:

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression. Aim for a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone. End your speech with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple. This could be a quote, an inside joke, or something else entirely.

Content:

The content of your speech should focus on the groom and the couple. Share stories, funny or heartwarming anecdotes, and embarrassing experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. Talk about what the groom means to you and why you were chosen to be the best man. Include a few kind words about the bride/partner and the positive impact they've had on the groom. If you have stories or anecdotes that highlight this, include them. Avoid telling embarrassing stories or ones that might cause problems for the couple. Keep your speech positive and lighthearted.

Delivery:

Practicing your speech is essential. Rehearse it multiple times to familiarize yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practicing in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help refine your delivery. Remember to breathe and visualize yourself as a great speaker to calm your nerves.

Audience Connection:

Make sure to connect with your audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, and using hand gestures. Even the best speech will fall flat if you're looking at the ground and mumbling. Consider involving your audience by posing a question to them during your speech.

Length:

Keep your speech concise. Aim for around 4-7 minutes, and definitely no longer than 5 minutes. Guests will quickly lose interest if your speech is too long.

Confidence:

Go into your speech with confidence, but be yourself. If you're not usually the comedian in the group, don't try to force a bunch of jokes. Stick to your natural style and tone, whether that's sentimental, lighthearted, or a mix of both.

Toast:

Don't forget to end your speech with a toast to the couple. You can come up with something clever to say or simply ask everyone to raise their glasses and say, "to the couple."

Frequently asked questions