Best Man's Duties: How To Support The Groom

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, and it's his job to support the groom and help lighten his workload before, during, and after the wedding.

Some of the key duties of the best man include planning an epic stag do, writing and delivering a memorable speech, and helping the groomsmen choose their wedding attire. He also needs to be the groom's confidant and provide emotional support throughout the planning process.

On the wedding day itself, the best man has the important job of keeping the wedding rings safe until it's time for the couple to exchange them. He also stands next to the groom during the ceremony, and may be asked to sign the marriage license as a witness.

In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man will help the groom choose and purchase or rent his wedding attire, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. He will also typically be in charge of organising the bachelor party, with input from the groom and other groomsmen.

The best man is also expected to attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. He may also be asked to help with wedding planning tasks such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules.

Overall, the best man has a vital role to play in ensuring the groom's wedding day runs smoothly and is a fun and memorable occasion for all involved.

Organise the stag do/bachelor party

Organising the stag do/bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. It's your job to plan an epic night or weekend that suits the groom's style, not your own.

First, consult with the groom about what kind of bachelor party they want. Do they want to travel or stay local? Do they want a wild party or something more low-key?

Next, work with the other groomsmen to plan the event, ensuring it fits within everyone's schedules and budgets. You might also want to check with the groom about who they want to invite.

When it comes to the stag do itself, make sure everything goes smoothly. Ensure that nobody drives drunk and that everyone has a good time.

You'll also need to keep an eye on the budget. While you're not expected to pay for the entire thing, you should be prepared to split the cost with the other groomsmen.

Finally, try to organise the stag do to take place one to three months before the wedding. This will give everyone time to recover before the big day.

Help choose the suits

As the best man, you will be the groom's right-hand man and go-to person for support and advice. One of your main duties will be to help the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire. Here are some tips to help you navigate this responsibility:

Discuss Ideas with the Couple

Before you start shopping, it's important to communicate with the couple about their style preferences. Ask them if they want the groomsmen's outfits to be bought or hired, and whether they plan to contribute financially. It's essential to have a clear understanding of their expectations and budget before you begin the suit selection process.

Guide the Groomsmen

As the best man, you will be responsible for assisting the groom in choosing the right suits for the wedding. This may involve researching suit rental stores or retailers, gathering measurements from the groomsmen, and coordinating the ordering process. Ensure that each groomsman places their order on time and don't forget to allow for any necessary alterations!

Be Mindful of Timing

Keep in mind that suit selection and alterations can take time, so start this process early in the wedding planning journey. You don't want to be scrambling at the last minute, so guide the groomsmen to order their suits well in advance, leaving plenty of time for any necessary adjustments.

Offer Style Advice

The best man can provide valuable input on suit styles, colours, and accessories. If the groom is undecided, offer your suggestions and help him find a look that complements the wedding theme and the bride's dress. Remember, it's their day, so ensure their vision takes precedence.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Throughout the suit selection process, maintain open communication with the groom, groomsmen, and any relevant vendors. This will help ensure that everyone is on the same page and reduce the risk of misunderstandings or last-minute surprises.

Assist with Final Fittings

As the wedding day approaches, check in with the groom and groomsmen to ensure their suits fit perfectly. Offer to accompany them to their final fittings if needed, and confirm that any alterations are completed on time.

Return or Clean Suits After the Wedding

After the wedding, don't forget about the suits! If the suits were rented, coordinate their return to ensure they are returned on time and in good condition. If the suits were purchased, offer to help with dry cleaning and storage, especially if the couple is leaving for their honeymoon right away.

Remember, as the best man, your role is to support the groom and reduce their stress. By staying organised and communicative, you can ensure that the suit selection process runs smoothly and that the groomsmen look their best on the big day!

Be the groom's confidant

Being the groom's confidant is one of the most important roles of a best man. Here are some ways you can be there for the groom in the lead-up to the wedding:

Emotional Support

Be a shoulder to lean on. It's normal for the groom to experience cold feet, stress, or anxiety. As his confidant, you should be prepared to listen to his complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment and reassure him that everything will be okay.

Help with Ring Selection

Even before you've been officially asked to be the best man, the groom will likely ask for your help in selecting an engagement ring. Provide your honest opinion as he chooses the ring, but do so gently. Purchasing an engagement ring can be stressful, so be a voice of reason if needed.

Assist with Outfit Details

Help the groom and groomsmen with their wedding attire. This includes helping with final suit selections and ensuring that everyone orders their attire in a timely manner. Don't forget about alterations! It's often the best man's job to ensure that the groomsmen's suits are tailored and received on time.

Plan the Bachelor Party

Organize a bachelor party that suits the groom's style and preferences. Consult him on the type of party he envisions, whether he wants to travel or stay local, and if he wants a wild party or something more low-key. Work with the groomsmen to plan a night or weekend that the groom will enjoy, and be mindful of everyone's schedules and budgets.

Coordinate Travel and Accommodations

If the wedding is in a different location, ensure that you and the groomsmen book flights and hotels promptly. Jump on any room blocks and accommodations arranged by the couple for out-of-town guests as soon as they become available. You can even help pair up groomsmen to share hotel rooms or rental cars to save money.

Collect Money for a Group Gift

If the groomsmen decide to get a group gift for the groom, you'll often lead this effort by collecting money and choosing the final item. This could be a vintage bottle of wine, a higher-end spirit, or something else the groom would appreciate.

Be Present for the Rehearsal

Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and help wrangle the wedding party to ensure the schedule moves along smoothly. You may also be expected to make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner to kick off the festivities.

On the wedding day itself, continue to be the groom's confidant by:

Keeping the Groom and Groomsmen on Schedule

Keep an eye on the clock on the morning of the wedding to ensure everyone gets to the venue on time. Help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony and make sure they are in the right place at the right time.

Holding the Wedding Rings

You may be entrusted with holding the wedding rings for safekeeping until the ring exchange. This is a significant responsibility, so be aware of where the rings are at all times and keep them in a safe place, like your inner jacket pocket.

Welcoming Guests

As the groom's close friend or relative, you likely know a large portion of the guests. Welcome them to the wedding ceremony with hugs, kisses on the cheek, or fist bumps, depending on your relationship.

Signing the Marriage License

The couple will need two witnesses as they sign their marriage license, and this duty is often reserved for the best man and maid of honor. Always be readily available for this task, and have a backup pen in your pocket in case of any last-minute mishaps.

Giving a Speech

If the couple opens the floor for toasts, you'll often be the first to step in. Craft a well-crafted speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story, adding humor while avoiding any drama.

Keeping the Reception Moving

Be ready to step in if there are any hiccups with the entertainment. If the DJ or band is late, crack a few jokes, get the crowd to the dance floor, and introduce the key players so the party can continue as planned.

Ensuring the Groom Eats and Drinks

The groom will be busy during the ceremony, so help him out by making sure he has something to eat and stays hydrated.

Dancing with the Maid of Honor

It's tradition for the best man to dance with the maid of honor when guests are welcomed onto the dance floor. If you'd prefer not to, that's fine, but make sure you're one of the first people on the dance floor to encourage others to join.

Decorating the Getaway Car

If the couple is using their own car instead of hiring wedding transportation, the best man and groomsmen traditionally have fun decorating the getaway car with cans, streamers, etc. Just make sure you have the couple's permission first!

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. If there is no official ring bearer, the best man will be responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until the couple is ready to exchange their vows.

On the day of the wedding, the best man should ensure that the rings are in a safe place, such as an inner jacket pocket, and that their pockets don't have any holes. The best man should also be aware of where the rings are at all times. If the couple has chosen to have a ring bearer, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow as they line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings to the best man for safekeeping until the officiant requests them.

In addition to the rings, the best man may also be asked to hold the groom's personal items, such as their phone, wallet, and vows.

Give a speech

Giving a Speech as Best Man

One of the most important duties of the best man is to give a speech during the reception. This is your chance to shine and show your support for the newlyweds. Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable and engaging speech:

Before the Speech

Take time to prepare and practice your speech beforehand. While it's good to add a touch of humour, avoid anything that might be considered offensive or embarrassing. Run your speech by a trusted person to ensure it strikes the right tone.

During the Speech

Speak slowly and clearly, and remember to pause for any laughter or reactions from the audience. Be sure to mention everyone who needs to be mentioned, including the newlyweds, the bridesmaids, and the couple's families.

Content of the Speech

A traditional best man's speech typically includes a few key elements:

• A thank you to the couple for inviting you to be a part of their special day
• A story or anecdote about the groom, sharing a fond memory or highlighting their positive qualities
• A few words about the bride and groom as a couple, expressing your support for their union
• A toast to the happy couple, wishing them a lifetime of love and happiness

Remember, the speech is all about celebrating the newlyweds and making them feel special. So focus on them, keep it positive, and avoid making it all about yourself.

After the Speech

Once your speech is done, you can relax and enjoy the rest of the reception. But as the best man, you also have a duty to ensure the reception is going well and that the guests are having a good time. Get people onto the dance floor, mingle, and keep the energy high.

In Summary

Giving a speech as the best man is a privilege and an honour. It's your chance to celebrate the groom and the couple, share a few kind words, and get the party started. With a well-crafted speech and a bit of confidence, you'll be sure to deliver a speech that the newlyweds and guests will remember fondly.

Frequently asked questions