Wedding Rsvps: Invitation, Reservation, And Requests

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few things to keep in mind. While it is not mandatory to include RSVP cards, it is considered good form to do so as it helps the couple organise the seating chart, menu and music playlist. If you choose not to include RSVP cards, you should still include a request for guests to RSVP on your wedding website or by phone.

If you are including RSVP cards, it is important to address the envelopes with the name(s) and address of the person handling the responses, whether that be yourselves, your parents, wedding planner or a member of the wedding party. It is also customary to include a stamp on each envelope.

To avoid any confusion, be sure to clearly indicate the number of guests invited and the deadline for responses, which should be around four weeks before the wedding date. This will give you enough time to finalise numbers with your vendors.

If you are looking to cut down on costs and inbound mail, you may consider including the RSVP information on your wedding invitation or on a separate card inside the envelope. This is generally considered acceptable, especially if you are also providing a wedding website link for digital RSVPs. However, it is important to keep in mind that some guests, particularly older relatives, may not be comfortable with responding online, so be prepared to follow up with phone calls if needed.

Online RSVPs: Pros and Cons

Pros

• Cost-effective: Online RSVPs can save you money on RSVP cards, envelopes, and stamps.
• Convenience: It is more convenient for both the host and the guests. Hosts won't have to worry about anything getting lost in the mail, manually keeping track of responses, or chasing down stragglers. Guests can respond quickly and easily without having to fill out a card and put it in the mail.
• Eco-friendly: Couples planning an eco-friendly wedding might prefer online RSVPs as they reduce paper waste.
• Guest list management: Online RSVPs can help keep your guest list on track by limiting the number of guests per invite and preventing people from adding extra, uninvited guests.
• Customisation: Online tools allow hosts to create custom questions (such as meal choices and song requests) and gather information that traditional RSVP cards cannot.
• Real-time updates: Hosts can see the results in real-time, rather than waiting for postal deliveries.

Cons

• Less traditional: While online RSVPs are becoming more common, some guests may still expect to see a traditional RSVP card, especially older guests or those who are not comfortable with technology.
• Potential for confusion: Some guests may not know how to RSVP online or may have trouble using the website or platform.
• Not suitable for all guests: If you have guests who are not familiar with the internet or do not have easy access to it, you may need to provide alternative options such as phone or email.
• Potential for user error: A few people may reach out and say they are having problems using the site, or they may accidentally submit the wrong response.

RSVP Wording Ideas

The wording of your wedding RSVP cards should ideally match the style of your wedding invitations. Whether your wedding is traditional, formal, or informal, you can adapt your RSVP wording accordingly. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Formal RSVP Wording Ideas:
• "The favour of a response is requested by [date]."
• "Your reply is kindly requested before [date]."
• "A favour of response is kindly requested before [date]."
• "Kindly respond by [date]."
• Informal RSVP Wording Ideas:
• "Kindly reply before [date]."
• "Let us know before [date]."
• "Please respond by [date]."
• "Are you in? Please RSVP by [date]."
• Unique RSVP Wording Ideas:
• "Ready to eat, drink and see you get married!"
• "Will toast to you two from afar."
• "Yes, the party don't start 'til I walk in! Here's a song I'd love to request:"
• "No, party on without me."
• Destination Wedding RSVP Wording Ideas:
• "Will be thinking of you at home."
• "Fly away with us! Elope with us and watch us tie the knot. RSVP by [date]."
• "Will be there in spirit."
• Online Wedding RSVP Wording Ideas:
• "Please visit our website to respond by [date]."
• "Kindly respond by [date] using the following website: [wedding website URL]."

Remember to include essential information such as the RSVP deadline, a way for guests to indicate their attendance or regrets, space for guests to write their names, and any dietary requirements or special requests.

RSVP Etiquette

RSVPs are an important part of wedding planning, as they help you finalise numbers for your venue and caterers. Here is some advice on how to ask your guests to respond to your wedding invitations.

Wording

The traditional French acronym, RSVP, is usually understood by guests, but you can also write out "Répondez, s'il vous plaît" or "Please reply" if you prefer. You can also use "Reply by" or "Kindly reply by" instead.

Response Options

It is becoming increasingly common to ask guests to RSVP through a wedding website. This can be a great way to reduce the amount of incoming mail and keep track of responses. However, it is important to be mindful that older guests may not be comfortable with this, so it is a good idea to include a phone number as an alternative option. You could also include a separate card with your invitation that has the RSVP details on it, or even a pre-stamped envelope for guests to send their responses.

Deadlines

It is standard to send out wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding, and the RSVP deadline should be around two to four weeks before. This gives you enough time to chase up any late responses and finalise numbers for your venue and caterers.

Number of Guests

It is important to make it clear how many people are invited from each household. You can do this by addressing the invitation to specific individuals, or by including a line on the RSVP card that says something like, "We have reserved ____ seats in your honour."

How to Include Specific Numbers on Invitations

Including specific numbers on your wedding invitations and RSVP cards is a great way to ensure your guests know how many seats have been reserved for them. Here are some tips and examples to help you communicate this information effectively:

Addressing the Invitation:

• For a family with young children (under 18), address the outer envelope to the parent(s) or guardian(s). On the inner envelope, list each child by name. You can use "Miss" for girls under 18, and boys don't need a title until they're 16.
• If you don't include each child's name, it implies that children are not invited. However, some guests may still assume their kids are welcome, so be prepared to clarify.
• For families with children over 18, each person should receive their own invitation unless they live at home with their parents. You don't need to use titles, but you can if you prefer.
• If you're inviting a married couple with the same last name, put their names on the same line of the outer envelope. For couples with different last names, list the names separately, with the person you're closest to or in alphabetical order.
• For unmarried couples living together, include both names on the envelope, but on separate lines.

Wording on the RSVP Card:

• Include a blank line for guests to write their names. On a formal RSVP card, indicate that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name.
• To prevent guests from adding extra guests, be clear about the number of seats reserved for them. You can say, "__ of __ attending" and pre-fill the second blank with the number of seats.
• Another option is to write, "We have reserved ____ seats in your honor." This lets guests know exactly how many people are invited.
• If you want to collect meal preferences, dietary restrictions, or other information, include these requests on the RSVP card as well.
• "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham (outer envelope)

Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly (inner envelope)"

"Ms. Audrey Abraham (outer envelope for children over 18)

Ms. Abraham (inner envelope)"

"Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Rivera (outer envelope for married couple with same last name)

Mr. and Mrs. John Rivera (inner envelope)"

"Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell (outer envelope for married couple with different last names)

Celine and Jacqueline (inner envelope)"

"Mr. Aaron Triguiero (outer envelope for unmarried couple)

Mr. Gabriel Reyes (outer envelope)

Mr. Triguiero, Mr. Reyes (inner envelope)"

RSVP Reminders

• Set an RSVP deadline: It is recommended to set an RSVP deadline that is two to four weeks before the wedding date. This will allow you and your vendors enough time to finalise the guest list and make any necessary arrangements.
• Send out reminders: Send polite reminders to guests a few days or a week before the RSVP deadline to ensure a timely response. You can do this via phone call, text message, or email.
• Follow up with guests who haven't responded: If some guests haven't responded by the deadline, give them a quick call or send another reminder to ensure you receive their response.
• Provide multiple RSVP options: Consider offering multiple RSVP options, such as online, by phone, or mail, to accommodate different preferences and comfort levels with technology.
• Include clear and concise wording: Ensure that your RSVP cards or instructions have clear and concise wording. Indicate the deadline, the method of response (online, phone, mail), and any other relevant details.
• Number the RSVP cards: Consider numbering the RSVP cards to keep track of responses, especially if guests forget to write their names.
• Indicate the number of invited guests: To avoid confusion or unexpected additional guests, clearly indicate the number of guests invited per invitation. You can do this by addressing the invitation specifically to those invited and including a line on the RSVP card, such as "We have reserved _ seats in your honour."
• Provide a special request line: You can include a special request line on your RSVP cards, such as song requests, drink preferences, or a favourite memory of the couple.
• Offer a small gift or bribe: Adding a small gift or bribe, such as a raffle entry, can increase the likelihood of timely responses and make your invitation more exciting for guests.

Frequently asked questions