Rsvp Dates: Necessary For Wedding Invites?

Wedding planning is a complex affair, and one of the most important aspects is the guest list. Sending out invitations with an RSVP request is standard practice, but what is the ideal deadline for guests to respond by? The short answer is that it depends. As a general rule, it is recommended that the RSVP date be set at least two to four weeks before the wedding date. This allows enough time for the couple to confirm numbers with caterers and the venue. For destination weddings or holiday weddings, it is advisable to give guests more time, with invitations sent out three months in advance and the RSVP deadline set for six weeks before the wedding.

Why you should put an RSVP date on a wedding invitation

Wedding planning is an exciting but challenging task, and there are many details to consider when it comes to sending out invitations. While it may be tempting to skip the RSVP date, here are some reasons why you should include one:

Finalising Numbers for Your Caterer and Venue

One of the most important reasons to include an RSVP date is to finalise the number of guests for your caterer and venue. Typically, they will request an accurate headcount one to two weeks before the wedding. Setting an RSVP date that is two to four weeks before your wedding date gives you a window to gather late responses and provide an accurate headcount to your vendors. This ensures that your caterer can prepare enough food and your venue can be set up appropriately.

Allowing Time for Follow-up

Including an RSVP date on your wedding invitations provides a deadline for your guests to respond by. However, it is likely that some guests will not respond by this date. By setting an earlier RSVP deadline, you allow yourself time to follow up with those who have not yet replied. This could involve sending texts, emails, or making phone calls to remind guests to send their responses.

Helping Guests Plan

While your wedding is an important event for you, your guests may have other commitments or events to consider. By providing an RSVP date, you give your guests a deadline to check their calendars and make any necessary travel arrangements. This is especially important for destination weddings or weddings during holiday periods, where guests will need to plan further in advance for travel and accommodations.

Streamlining the Planning Process

Receiving RSVPs by a specific date helps to streamline the planning process. It allows you to gather all the necessary information, such as meal preferences and the number of attendees from each family, at the same time. This makes it easier to organise seating charts and provide final numbers to your vendors.

Providing a Courtesy to Your Guests

Including an RSVP date is a courtesy to your guests, as it gives them a clear deadline to work towards. It also helps to set expectations and ensures that your guests feel well-informed about the wedding plans. This is especially important if you are sending out save-the-date cards, as guests will be aware of the event in advance and can plan accordingly.

In conclusion, including an RSVP date on your wedding invitations is beneficial for both you and your guests. It helps to streamline the planning process, ensures that you have accurate numbers for your vendors, and allows your guests to plan their attendance effectively.

How to choose the right RSVP date

Choosing the right RSVP date is crucial to finalising the details of your wedding and ensuring that your guests have enough time to plan their attendance. Here are some tips on how to choose the right RSVP date:

Allow Enough Time for Planning:

Give your guests ample time to respond to your wedding invitation. It is recommended to send out invitations at least eight weeks before the wedding, and ideally, guests should reply at least four weeks before the wedding. This allows you time to confirm numbers with your caterer and venue and gives your guests enough time to make travel arrangements if needed.

Consider the Caterer and Venue Requirements:

Your caterer and venue will typically need an accurate headcount one to two weeks before your wedding day. Be sure to ask them for a firm date, and then set your RSVP date accordingly. This will ensure that you can provide a final headcount to your vendors on time.

Account for Late Responses:

It is inevitable that some guests will respond after the RSVP date. To accommodate this, it is recommended to set your RSVP date about four weeks before your wedding, giving you a buffer to gather late responses. This will reduce stress and allow you to provide an accurate headcount to your venue and caterer.

Synchronise with Save-the-Date Notices:

If you are sending out Save-the-Date notices, it is important to note that these are not the same as wedding invitations. Save-the-Dates are courtesy alerts that let potential guests know they are likely to be invited. Experts recommend sending these out around 10-11 months before the wedding, with formal invitations following later. Do not request RSVPs in response to Save-the-Dates, as your guest list may change, and it is too early for guests to commit.

Provide Clear RSVP Instructions:

Ensure that your RSVP cards have a clear "RSVP by" date and give guests three to four weeks to respond. The RSVP date should be at least two weeks before the wedding. Also, include instructions on how to RSVP, such as providing a pre-addressed and stamped envelope, or directing them to a specific email, phone number, or URL.

By following these tips, you can choose the right RSVP date and ensure a smooth planning process for your wedding.

How to send wedding invitations

Sending out wedding invitations can be a stressful task, but there are several tips and tricks to help you get them sent off without a hitch. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to send wedding invitations:

Timing is Key:

The first step is to ensure you are sending out your invitations with enough time for your guests to respond and make travel arrangements. Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This means you should aim to order your invitations around four months in advance. Sending out "save-the-date" cards six to eight months before the wedding is also a good idea, especially for destination weddings.

Finalize Your Guest List:

Before addressing the envelopes, double-check your guest list to ensure that no one is missed. When addressing the envelopes, write out all words in the address, including "Street," "Post Office Box," and "Apartment." Also, ensure that you are following proper wedding invitation etiquette, such as including parents' names on the invite if they are hosting, and addressing adult children separately, even if they live in the family home.

Prepare Your Envelopes:

Number the backs of your RSVP cards or envelopes to match your guest list. This helps identify who the RSVP is from, especially if a guest forgets to write their name. Stamp the RSVP envelopes to make it easier for your guests to reply and ensure timely responses. Also, consider ordering extra envelopes in case of mistakes.

Weigh and Assemble:

Before mailing, take a fully assembled invitation to the post office to be weighed. This will help you determine the exact postage required, which may be more than the cost of a basic stamp. Then, assemble your stationery, ensuring it is properly stowed inside each envelope.

Proofread and Seal:

Double-check all the details, including addresses, before taking your invitations to the post office. To seal the envelopes, use a cotton swab or paintbrush to moisten the adhesive, instead of licking them. This is more hygienic and reduces the risk of paper cuts.

Hand-Canceling and Mailing:

At the post office, ask for your invitations to be hand-cancelled. This means they will be sorted by hand, reducing the risk of damage. Then, hand your invitations to a staff member instead of dropping them in a street-side mailbox to ensure they are less likely to get damaged in transit.

International Invitations:

If you are mailing invitations internationally, allow extra time for them to reach their destination. Send them out eight to ten weeks in advance, and consider providing a digital RSVP option to save time and international postage costs for your guests.

Follow Up:

Even with an RSVP date, some guests may respond late or forget to reply. Plan to send reminders via text or email to those who haven't sent their responses, and give them a quick call if needed.

By following these steps, you can ensure that sending out your wedding invitations is a smooth and worry-free process.

What to do if a guest doesn't RSVP

When it comes to wedding planning, it's crucial to know how many guests are attending. This number impacts the cost of the wedding, seating arrangements, and other logistics. Thus, it's important to set an RSVP deadline and then follow up with guests who haven't responded. Here are some steps to take if a guest doesn't RSVP:

• Set an RSVP deadline: Choose a date that's about two to four weeks before your wedding date. This will give you some leeway to gather late responses and provide an accurate headcount to your caterer and venue.
• Send reminders before the deadline: About two weeks before the RSVP deadline, start sending out gentle reminders to guests who haven't responded. You can send emails, texts, or make phone calls. It's a good idea to include an update about the wedding planning to soften the tone of your reminder.
• Be persistent after the deadline: If the RSVP deadline has passed and you're still missing responses, it's time to be more assertive. Reach out to each person individually via text or phone call. Let them know you're excited to see them at your wedding and politely explain that your venue and caterer need a final headcount.
• Plan for missed RSVPs: If you're still unable to get a response from certain guests, you may have to cut them from your list. However, it's a good idea to plan for a few gatecrashers and inform your caterer accordingly.

• "We're so excited, we could burst! We want to remind all our lovely guests to RSVP by the [date] due date."
• "We've been busy with wedding planning and wanted to share some news. We've confirmed our favorite local band, and we can't wait to see you on the dance floor! Get ready to groove with us by RSVPing by [date]."
• "The two-week countdown to our wedding has begun! As we make the final arrangements, please remember that RSVPs are due by [date]."
• "Our wedding date is approaching, and we need to make the final arrangements. This is a friendly reminder that the RSVPs are due a week from today."
• "Hey! Just wanted to make sure you received our invitation. I need to give the final headcount to the caterer by Friday, so please let me know if you'll be able to make it."

How to politely ask for an RSVP

When it comes to wedding planning, it's important to get your invites right. Here are some tips on how to politely ask for an RSVP:

Set a Clear RSVP Deadline

It is considered good etiquette to give your guests a deadline to respond by, usually around two to four weeks before the wedding date. This allows you time to chase up any late responses and gives your caterers and venue an accurate headcount. Be sure to include this deadline on your RSVP cards or wedding website.

Include an RSVP Card

Although it is not essential, including an RSVP card with a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope is a good way to prompt guests to respond. On the card, you can include lines for guests to write their names, accept or decline the invitation, indicate dietary requirements, and even add a special request line, such as a song request.

Be Proactive

If your RSVP deadline has passed and you're still waiting on responses, don't be afraid to reach out. You can send a polite text, email, or Facebook message to guests, simply asking if they received the invitation and if they plan to attend. It's a good idea to give them a deadline to respond by, and let them know that you need to give final numbers to the caterer.

Make it Easy for Guests to Respond

Consider including multiple ways for guests to respond, such as by phone, email, text, or through your wedding website. This ensures that guests can choose the method they are most comfortable with, and it gives you multiple avenues to chase up responses if needed.

Be Mindful of Wording

When asking for an RSVP, be mindful of your wording to avoid sounding pushy. A simple and polite message will often do the trick. For example, "Hi [Guest Name], I just wanted to check if you received our wedding invitation and if you plan on attending. Please let us know as soon as possible as we need to give final numbers to the caterer. Hope to see you there!"

Frequently asked questions