Junior Rasmussen
When replying to a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly and respectfully. Traditionally, this would be done via a handwritten note on personal stationery, but nowadays, it's more common to respond by email or text message. If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it out clearly, indicating whether you will be attending, the number of guests, and any other requested information. If there's no response card, a brief, sincere personal note is usually best. It's also good etiquette to include a short personal message to the couple, expressing excitement and well-wishes. If you're unable to attend, it's polite to send your regrets as soon as possible, so the couple can adjust their plans.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Time | Respond as soon as possible. If you miss the RSVP date, call the hosts and let them know if you can attend or not. |
| Number of Guests | Include the number of guests who are coming. |
| Names | Write the names of the guests who are attending. |
| Short Personal Note | Include a short personal note to the couple. |
| Food Choice | If there is an option to choose a meal, initial the choice so the host knows which guest it is for. |
| Plus-One | If you are bringing a plus-one, include their full name. |
| Allergies | If you have a serious allergy, call the host and inform them. |
RSVP promptly
Replying promptly to a wedding invitation is essential, as it helps the couple plan their big day. Here are some tips to ensure you respond promptly and appropriately:
Check Your Schedule and Respond Promptly
When you receive a wedding invitation, the first thing to do is check your schedule to see if you're available on the date of the wedding. Don't delay this step, as the couple is eager for your response. Respond as soon as possible, preferably within a few days of receiving the invitation. If you need to consult with others included in the invitation, do so quickly to finalise your response.
Understand the RSVP Format
The wedding invitation will likely include an RSVP card with spaces to fill in. Indicate whether you will attend by writing "Accept" or "Decline" and filling in the number of guests attending. If there are food choices, initial your selection so the couple can plan with the caterer.
Provide Names and Any Additional Information
Write your name(s) exactly as requested on the card. If you have been invited with a plus-one, include their full name as well. Some RSVP cards may also include space for a short personal note to the couple, which is a nice touch.
Respond by the Deadline
The RSVP card should have a deadline by which you need to respond. Make sure you send your response by this date. If you miss the deadline, it's still important to respond as soon as possible. Contact the couple directly to apologise for the delay and provide your response.
Inform Them of Any Changes
If you have accepted the invitation but later find out you can no longer attend, inform the couple immediately. They will need to update their plans, including catering and seating arrangements. It is courteous to let them know as soon as possible so they can make alternative plans if needed.
Express Gratitude
Whether you can attend or not, it is considerate to thank the couple for including you in their special day. You can include this in your RSVP or send a separate message expressing your appreciation and well-wishes.
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Include a personal note
When replying to a wedding invitation, it is important to respond promptly. Check your schedule, and if you have a plus-one, consult with them as well. If you are unable to attend, it is courteous to let the couple know as soon as possible so they can invite someone else in your place.
If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it out and send it back. If not, you can respond in writing or by email. A personal note should be brief but sincere and is usually written to hosts you know well. Here are some examples of what to write:
> Dear [Hosts], [Partner] and I are delighted to accept your invitation to [Bride/Couple] and [Groom/Couple]'s wedding on [Date].
> Dear [Host 1] and [Host 2], I am so sorry that I can't join you and [Partner] for your wedding. I have to be in [Location] on [Date/Day of Week], but you two will be in my thoughts on your special day. Love to you both, [Your Name]
If you are unable to attend after accepting the invitation, call the hosts immediately. They will need to inform the caterers and may want to invite someone else.
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Reply format
Replying to a wedding invitation is a show of appreciation. Here is a general format for how to reply to a wedding invitation:
Step 1: Check your schedule and guest list
Before you respond, check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation. If you are invited to bring a plus-one, include that person's full name in your response.
Step 2: Respond promptly
Respond as soon as possible. If you are unable to attend, a prompt reply will give the couple time to invite someone else. If you are attending, it is still important to reply promptly, as the couple will be creating a seating plan and confirming numbers with vendors.
Step 3: Understand the invitation
If there is an "M" preceding a blank space, write your social title (Mrs./Mr./Ms./Mx.) and then your full name. If the envelope is addressed to, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew," then the response would include: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew."
Step 4: Write your reply
If there is a pre-printed response card, use a number instead of a checkmark to indicate your response, and write the number of people attending. If there is no pre-printed response card, write your reply in the form of a full sentence, as if you were speaking directly back to the host. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will attend. The four of us wish everyone the best and look forward to joining you in May."
If there is no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. Your reply should be brief and sincere. For example: "Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom's wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany."
Step 5: Additional information
If there is a choice of food, place your initials next to your food choice. If you have any serious allergies, it is a nice gesture to call the host after you RSVP and offer to contact the planner or caterer yourself to discuss options.
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Plus ones
When it comes to plus ones, there are a few considerations to keep in mind when replying to a wedding invitation. Firstly, it is important to respond promptly, as the couple is likely working with a caterer and creating a seating chart. If you have been offered a plus-one, it is considered good etiquette to include that person's full name when you respond. This is true even if they are a long-term partner; don't assume that the hosts know their name or that they will remember to include them without a clear confirmation.
If you are inviting a plus-one, it is important to be mindful of the couple's preferences and budget. While it is generally considered good etiquette to allow married, engaged, and cohabitating guests to bring a plus-one, as well as members of the bridal party, it is not always feasible for a couple to accommodate many extra guests. If you are unable to offer a plus-one to every guest who falls into these categories, it is advisable to have clear, easily explainable criteria for who can bring an additional person. For example, you might choose to only allow your single attendants to bring a plus-one.
When notifying your guests about plus-ones, it is customary to include this information on the invitation envelope. Very traditional wedding invitations have an outer and inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed to the recipient, while the inner envelope lists the names of those who are invited, such as children or plus-ones. If you are using more modern invitations with only one envelope, be sure to address all invitees clearly, listing couples by their full names if they are in a relationship, or writing your friend's name and "and guest" if they are bringing a casual date.
If you are a guest who has not been offered a plus-one, it is generally considered acceptable to reach out and inquire about bringing one, especially if your relationship status has changed recently. However, if the couple declines your request, it is important to respect their decision and reply graciously.
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Declining the invitation
Declining a wedding invitation can be tricky, especially if you are close to the couple. However, there is a polite way to do it. Here are some tips to help you decline a wedding invitation gracefully:
Think it through
Give yourself a few days to think about your response. Consider your options and the reason for your decline. The couple will appreciate your thoughtful consideration, and it will make it easier for you to communicate your decision.
Be mindful of your relationship with the couple
If you are very close to the couple, it is best to inform them of your decision over a phone call or in person. This shows that you care about them and their special day. On the other hand, if you are not as close, a simple RSVP with a short note will suffice.
Thank the couple
No matter what, always express gratitude for being invited. Let them know you appreciate the invitation and that it means a lot to you. This is a crucial step in maintaining a positive relationship with the couple.
Be honest but concise
It is generally better to be honest about your reason for declining. The couple will likely understand and appreciate your honesty. However, you don't need to go into great detail. A simple phrase like "due to conflicting commitments" or "due to financial constraints" is enough. Remember, you want to give just enough information without causing unnecessary guilt or awkwardness.
Be firm but kind
If you are declining the invitation, be firm in your language to avoid any confusion or persuasion from the couple. At the same time, express your disappointment in not being able to attend and wish them well. You can say something like, "I'm so sorry I can't be there, but I'm sending my best wishes for your special day."
Follow up
Even if you don't know the couple well, consider following up with a call, email, or text. This shows that you are genuinely disappointed about not being able to attend and helps to diffuse any potential awkwardness.
Optional gestures
If you want to show your support in other ways, you can send a small gift, arrange to celebrate with them another time, or even send a bottle of champagne to be enjoyed on their wedding day. These gestures will make the couple feel loved and supported, even if you can't be there in person.
Remember, it is essential to respond promptly and formally RSVP, even if you have already communicated your decision verbally. This helps the couple with their planning and ensures your response isn't lost in the wedding administration.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to respond to a wedding invitation promptly and respectfully. You can politely decline by mail, email, or text message. If you've received a physical invitation, you can use a formal third-person reply such as, "Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan regret that they are unable to accept your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June."
It is considered good etiquette to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. The latest you should respond is by the "RSVP by" date, which is usually set four to six weeks before the wedding.
Your response should indicate whether you will be attending and include the number of guests attending. If there is space, you can also include a short personal message to the couple.
When writing your response, address the couple using their titles and full names. For example, "Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation..." If the invitation envelope was addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," your response should also use this format.
If the invitation includes a plus-one, you should let the host know whether you intend to bring someone. Do not show up with a date or companion if you have not informed the host in advance.
