Wedding Invites: Including Both Parents, What's The Etiquette?

Wedding invitation etiquette is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. The host's name on the wedding invitation is not only a matter of proper etiquette but also a sign of respect and appreciation. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named at the top of the invitation. However, including both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option, regardless of who is financially contributing to the wedding. This can be done by using wording such as Together with their parents, [couple's names] request the pleasure of your company... If only one set of parents is hosting, it is customary to include their names at the beginning of the invitation, followed by the request for the guests' presence at the marriage of their child. When both sets of parents are hosting, their names can be listed together at the top of the invitation.

Including both sets of parents as hosts

Traditional Wording

"Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Surname of Bride's Parents] and Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Surname of Groom's Parents] request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children [Bride] and [Groom]."

Alternative Wording

"Together with their parents, [Bride] and [Groom] request the pleasure of your company at their wedding."

Wording for a Religious Ceremony

"Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Surname of Bride's Parents] and Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Surname of Groom's Parents] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children [Bride] and [Groom]."

Wording with Parents' Names Only

"[Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Bride's Parents' Surname] and [Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Groom's Parents' Surname] invite you to share in the joy of their children's wedding."

Wording for a Less Formal Wedding

"With their parents' joyous hearts, [Bride] and [Groom] invite you to celebrate their wedding."

Including the groom's parents' names

If the groom's parents are hosting, their names would typically be added at the top of the invitation. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Scott Cullen request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

> Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Lewis Manning and Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Scott Cullen request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

> Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Scott Cullen request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Amelia Rose Manning to their son Liam Quinlan

If the bride's parents are hosting, the groom's parents' names would typically be included after the groom's name. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Lewis Manning request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Amelia Rose to Mr. Liam Quinlan Cullen, son of Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Timothy Cullen

If both sets of parents are contributing, you could use the following wording:

> Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company ...

If the couple is hosting, but you still want to include both sets of parents, you could use wording such as:

> Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding

> Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory and Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner and Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland

In summary, there are many ways to include the groom's parents' names on a wedding invitation, depending on who is hosting and contributing financially. It is a wonderful way to honour the parents and show your appreciation for their support.

Including the bride's parents' names

Formal and Traditional Weddings

In formal and traditional weddings, the bride's parents' names are typically included at the beginning of the invitation, with titles and their full names. Here are some examples:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Charles Schwab" (if married)
• "Mrs. Mary Johnson and Mr. Charles Schwab" (if divorced)
• "Mrs. Mary Johnson and Mr. and Mrs. Charles Schwab" (if remarried)
• "Mrs. Mary Schwab and the late Mr. Charles Schwab" (if widowed)

If the groom's parents are also contributing financially or have prominent names in society, their names can be included after the groom's name. Here is an example of how to word such an invitation:

> Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Lewis Manning request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Amelia Rose to Liam Quinlan, son of Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Timothy Cullen, on Saturday, the fifth of June two thousand twenty, at three o'clock at Gilfillan's West Hill Country Club in Camillus, New York.

Semi-Formal and Non-Traditional Weddings

In less formal or non-traditional weddings, the bride can choose to include her parents' names as a form of honour or keep the invitation simple by omitting parents' names altogether. One popular option is to use the phrase ""Together with their families" to acknowledge and respect both the bride's and groom's families, especially if multiple people are contributing financially or if there is a difficult family situation. Here are some examples:

• "Together with their families, Amelia Rose Manning and Liam Quinlan Cullen request the pleasure of your company at their wedding on Saturday, the fifth of June two thousand twenty, at three o'clock at Gilfillan's West Hill Country Club in Camillus, New York."
• "Samuel and Mindy Peters, along with the families and friends of Matthew John Masterson, invite you to the ceremony and celebration on Saturday, the twelfth of September two thousand twenty-seven, at three o'clock in the afternoon at Northern Lights Garden."

Important Considerations

While the invitation wording is ultimately the couple's decision, it is important to consider the expectations of family members who are contributing financially. Having open conversations upfront can help avoid hurt feelings or demands for reprints. Additionally, it is essential to follow proper etiquette, such as using full names instead of nicknames and abbreviations.

Including parents' names when both are remarried

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to remember that every family is unique, and you should do what feels right for you. Here are some tips and examples to help you navigate this tricky situation:

Including Both Parents When They Are Remarried:

• If both your parents and your partner's parents are remarried, you can include all four of their names on the invitation. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children".
• If you want to include step-parents, it is perfectly acceptable to do so. You can use wording such as: "Neena and Kenneth Peterson invite you to the marriage of Neena's daughter, Hunter Walter Franke, on Saturday, August 25th, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon at Sunflower Hills Farm".
• If you want to keep the invitation shorter, you can say something like "together with their parents" instead of naming all four parents. Make sure everyone is okay with this wording first.
• Traditionally, only the parents' names appear on the invitation, but if you want to honour all four parents, you can include them on separate lines. For example: "request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their daughter, Mr. and Mrs. Fiancé's Mom, and Mr. and Mrs. Fiancé's Dad, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon".
• If your parents are divorced and both remarried, their names should never appear on the same line, even if they are hosting together.
• If one set of parents is divorced and remarried, and the other set is not, the invitation can be worded as follows: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children".
• If only one of your parents is remarried, you can include their new spouse's name. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, along with Mr. Alan Timmons, request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children".

Remember, the invitation is your chance to honour your parents, even if they are not contributing financially. You can also choose to include deceased parents on the invitation as a sentimental way to honour their memory.

Including a deceased parent

Wording the Invitation

It is perfectly acceptable to include a deceased parent's name on your wedding invitation. The key thing to remember is that the invitation should not appear to be sent by the deceased parent. Here are two options for how to word the invitation:

• Issued by the Couple: The invitation can be issued by you and your fiancé, with a phrase such as: "Together with their families, [Bride], daughter of [Father's name] and the late [Mother's name], and [Groom], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's parents' names], request the honour of your presence at their marriage...
• Traditional Wording: "The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of [Bride], daughter of [Father's name] and the late [Mother's name], to [Groom], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's parents' names]..."

Other Ways to Honour a Deceased Parent

If you would prefer not to include your deceased parent's name on the invitation itself, there are other ways to acknowledge them on your wedding day:

• Tribute in the Wedding Program: Include a loving tribute to your deceased parent in the wedding program.
• Reading or Poem: Have a poem or reading recited in memory of your deceased parent during the ceremony.
• Song: Play a meaningful song dedicated to your deceased parent at the reception.

Alternative Wording for "Late"

If you would like to acknowledge your deceased parent but prefer not to use the word "late", you can consider alternatives such as: "celebrate with us in spirit" or simply listing their name without any indication of their passing. However, it is worth noting that using the word "late" is considered proper etiquette.

Frequently asked questions