Inviting Phd Supervisor To Your Wedding: Good Idea?

Whether or not to invite your PhD supervisor to your wedding is a personal decision and depends on the nature of your relationship with them. If you have a close relationship with your supervisor, you may want to consider inviting them, especially if you socialise with them outside of work. However, if your relationship is purely professional, you may prefer to keep your personal life separate from your work life and not invite them. There is no established protocol for inviting colleagues to your wedding, and it is ultimately your decision.

Inviting PhD supervisors to weddings: etiquette and social norms

There is no established etiquette for inviting your PhD supervisor to your wedding. It is a personal decision that depends on the nature of your relationship with them. If you have a close friendship with your supervisor outside of work, then you may want to invite them. However, if your relationship is purely professional, then it may be best not to.

Some people feel that it is good to keep work and personal life separate and not invite anyone from their workplace to their wedding. Others feel that it is a nice gesture to invite their supervisor, especially if they have had a positive impact on their career and life. Ultimately, the decision comes down to you and your partner.

If you decide to invite your PhD supervisor, it is important to consider the following:

• The size and intimacy of your wedding: If it is a small, family-sized wedding, your supervisor may stick out and feel uncomfortable.
• The cost implications: Weddings can be expensive, and inviting your supervisor and their partner may add a significant cost.
• The potential for offence: If you invite some colleagues but not others, it could cause offence, so it may be best to either invite everyone or no one.
• Social norms: In some departments and cultures, it is expected to invite your supervisor, while in others it is not.

If you decide not to invite your PhD supervisor, there are other ways to include them in your celebration, such as bringing a cake or treats into the office to share with your colleagues. This can be a nice way to celebrate with them without actually inviting them to your wedding.

Finally, remember that your wedding is a personal event, and you should only invite people who you genuinely want to be there. Trust your instincts and make the decision that feels right for you.

The cost of inviting PhD supervisors to weddings

The cost of inviting PhD supervisors to a wedding will depend on a variety of factors, including the location, the number of guests, the food and entertainment, and other additional costs.

Location

The cost of a wedding can vary significantly depending on the location. For example, the average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2023 was $35,000, but this includes a wide range of prices, from an average of $22,000 in North Dakota to $63,000 in New York City.

Number of Guests

The number of guests is a major factor in determining the cost of a wedding. The more people you invite, the more you will spend. The average cost per guest in the US in 2023 was $304.

Food and Entertainment

The cost of food and drink is typically one of the largest expenses at a wedding. In 2020, the average cost of catering was $4,075 for a wedding of 66 guests, or $62 per plate. The cost of alcohol can also be significant, with an average cost of $2,800.

Other Costs

There are many other costs associated with weddings, including the venue, photographer, florist, music, cake, invitations, officiant, and transportation. The cost of these items can vary widely depending on the couple's preferences and budget.

Inviting PhD Supervisors

When considering whether to invite PhD supervisors to a wedding, it is important to take into account the additional costs involved. If the supervisor is married or in a stable relationship, it is generally considered offensive not to invite their spouse or partner, which would double the cost.

Some couples choose to invite only their PhD peers and not their supervisors, especially if they view their relationship as primarily professional rather than personal. Others invite their supervisors as a way to honour their contribution to their academic and intellectual development.

Ultimately, the decision to invite PhD supervisors to a wedding depends on the couple's budget, their relationship with their supervisors, and their personal preferences. It is important to weigh the financial costs against the potential benefits of having supervisors present to share in the celebration.

The potential impact on relationships with PhD supervisors if they are not invited to the wedding

On the one hand, not inviting a PhD supervisor to a wedding could maintain a professional boundary and separation between work and personal life. Some supervisors may feel uncomfortable attending a wedding and would prefer to keep the relationship strictly professional. Not inviting a supervisor can also avoid any potential awkwardness or stiff atmosphere at the wedding, especially if other colleagues or co-workers are not invited.

On the other hand, not inviting a PhD supervisor could potentially cause offence or hurt feelings, especially if the supervisor considers the relationship to be friendly or close. It could be seen as a snub or a sign that the relationship is not valued, which could lead to a deterioration of the working relationship.

Ultimately, the impact on the relationship will depend on the nature of the relationship between the PhD student and the supervisor, as well as the culture and norms of the particular academic institution or department. Some supervisors may understand that weddings are personal events and that they are not always included, especially if the student is keeping their guest list small or only inviting close friends and family. However, others may feel slighted, especially if they have supported the student through their PhD journey and consider themselves to have a good relationship.

To minimise any potential negative impact, it is important to handle the situation sensitively. Some students have chosen to bring treats into the office or hold a separate celebration with their research group, as a way to include their supervisors and colleagues without inviting them to the wedding itself. Clear and honest communication is also key, and it may be helpful to explain any constraints, such as a limited guest list or budget concerns.

The potential impact on relationships with other PhD students if they are not invited to the wedding

On the other hand, not inviting your PhD colleagues may cause some hurt feelings, especially if you have a close-knit group and socialise regularly outside of university. It could be seen as offensive to not invite spouses or significant others, even if you haven't met them before. If you do invite some of your PhD colleagues but not all, this could also cause tension and make those who aren't invited feel left out.

To minimise any potential negative impact on relationships, you could consider inviting only those you socialise with outside of the PhD program, or hosting a separate celebration for your colleagues, such as a bridal shower or post-wedding drinks.

The potential impact on relationships with PhD supervisors and students if they are invited to the wedding

Inviting PhD supervisors and students to a wedding can have both positive and potential negative consequences on the relationships. On the one hand, extending an invitation can be seen as a sign of closeness and appreciation for their support. It can strengthen the bond between the student and the invitees, making them feel valued and included in the student's life outside of the academic context. This can lead to improved working relationships, increased collaboration, and a more positive dynamic in the lab or department.

However, there is also a risk of blurring professional boundaries if the relationship is primarily academic. Inviting supervisors and students to a wedding may create an expectation of increased social interaction outside of work, which some may not be comfortable with. It could also lead to potential awkwardness or resentment if not all colleagues are invited, or if the invitation is seen as an obligation rather than a genuine desire to include them.

Additionally, the impact on relationships may depend on the cultural context and the size and nature of the wedding. In some cultures, it may be customary to invite colleagues to weddings, while in others, it may be unusual. If the wedding is small and intimate, inviting supervisors and students could be more noticeable and may change the dynamic of the event.

Ultimately, the decision to invite PhD supervisors and students to a wedding depends on the individual's comfort level and the nature of the relationships involved. It is important to consider the potential impact on relationships and to communicate clearly to set expectations appropriately.

Frequently asked questions